


Basically a Family

by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle



Series: Storytime: Voltron is (Basically) a Disaster [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam might actually die this time, Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Colleen Holt is the biggest Shiro stan of them all, Coran is the best flower girl, Discussions of sex, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Gordon Ramsay is immortal, Humor, Hunk is causing problems, Kaltenecker is now involved, Keith is not a good cake tester, Krolia doesn't get how weddings work, Lance is trying to ask his boyfriend a very important question, Lance's abuela is MVP, M/M, Marriage, Matt is back, Multi, Pidge is causing problems, Sexual References, Shiro is... not causing problems, bad language, eveyone is trying their best, from the sheer amount of stress, this wedding is going to the biggest event in the universe, what have I created
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-07-16 13:43:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16087289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle/pseuds/CaffeinatedFlumadiddle
Summary: “Are they gone?” Shiro asked, peering in the direction the paladins had just exited through. Adam rose an eyebrow but nodded.“What wildly inappropriate comment have you been waiting to tell me?” He asked, a small smirk crawling on his face. When Shiro said nothing it disappeared, morphing into concern. “Takashi?”“Are you sure you still want to get married?” Came the tentative response. It was soft and quiet. Adam stared “I just mean… When you first proposed I had black hair, two arms, and a lack of scars.” He wrinkled his nose. “A lot has changed.”“You were also dying when I proposed to you.” Adam pointed out “That didn’t stop me… Why would any of that?” He asked and grabbed his hand “Besides, it’s not like you still aren’t the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He added and Shiro snorted, rolling his eyes.“I guess I just miss the days where I was the hot one.”“You shallow bitch, I have always been the fucking hot one what are you implying-”OrAdam and Shiro’s wedding is arriving. Things don’t go as planned. The paladins are trying to help. Adam is stressed. Shiro is just happy to be there. Also, Coran takes his flower girl duties very, very seriously.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome. This is part of a series, but if you don't feel like reading everything then worry not. It can be read as a standalone and I'll try to provide some context when needed. If you would like a general guide for what fic goes with who, look below:
> 
> Basically Home Schooled: Keith  
> Basically Heterosexual: Shiro  
> Basically American: Lance  
> Basically a Criminal Mastermind: Hunk  
> Basically a Man: Pidge  
> Basically a Secret Agent: Adam
> 
> Enjoy!

“I can’t believe we’re engaged,” Adam murmured for probably the hundredth time. He played with the ring on his finger before grabbing Shiro’s hand to look at the matching band with wonder. “Takashi, we’re getting _married_.”

Shiro smiled back at him, letting Adam interlace their fingers before opening his mouth to respond. He was interrupted with a loud sigh coming from the other end of the room, accompanied by a few bangs from the TV as some videogame characters were shot. Adam narrowed his gaze.

“Ugh,” Keith grumbled from the couch “Are you two done?”

“Silence, demon.” Adam scowled at him and Shiro hit his arm.

“Stop calling him that.” His boyfriend – no, _fiancée,_ bitches – scolded him. Adam scowled at Keith and went back to playing with Shiro’s fingers. Keith made a face. “Keith, I’m pretty sure you have homework to do.”

“Come on,” Keith moaned and stopped his videogame to wrinkle his nose “Can I at least use your textbook? I lost mine.”

“Do I look like a fool to you, Kogane?” Shiro snorted “I’m not giving you the teacher’s edition with all the answers. Go suffer.”

“I saw your textbook in the freezer.” Adam added helpfully “I know it may seem like an excellent hiding place because _you_ don’t use it, but those of us that cook are well aware it exists.” He said and Keith rolled his eyes, pouting.

“Whatever. You guys are being gross anyways.” He said and Shiro shifted a bit at the accusation.

“Hey,” He said, voice softening “Finish your work and we can take out the bikes or something.”

Keith paused at this. His eyes drifted over Shiro suspiciously before letting them flick towards the window where he seemed to consider the setting sun with some thought before shrugging and stuffing his hands into his jean pockets - or attempting to anyways. The jeans were too tight to get more than his fingers in. Shiro had to elbow Adam again to stop the comment he knew was coming. 

“…Fine,” The teenager relented and disappeared into the kitchen. Adam rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a sucker.” He said and Shiro scoffed.

“Give the kid a break. He has his guardian as a teacher. Imagine living with _Iverson_ while having to take his class,” He shuddered and Adam’s eyes widened before pulling away.

“Takashi… Don’t compare yourself to Iverson. I love you too much to see you tear yourself down like that! Besides, you spoil that kid. Don’t think I don’t see you. Buying him anything he looks at for more than five seconds. Sneaking him into R-rated movies and into restricted areas of the Garrison. You’re terrible.”

“Hey. I stand by my actions.”

“You are using him as an excuse to do childish things again.”

“Adam, we do that shit all the time!” Shiro told him, flicking his boyfriend’s arm. Adam nodded enthusiastically before pausing and wrinkling his nose.

“…I mean. We try to. It isn’t as much fun to sneak into an R-rated movie when you are the correct age to see said movie.” Adam grumbled and crossed his arms “You know what would be _really_ fun? Is if we see if Keith could sneak into the wedding by not inviting him.”

“Adam.”

“Just saying! He doesn’t _have_ to be there. He’ll think it’s boring anyways.”

“Keith is going to the wedding.”

“You’re being really selfish right now,” Adam grumbled, pushing up his glasses while kicking the ground “Can I at least pick the song for our first dance?”

“I’m telling you right now that it isn’t going to be _Anaconda_ ,” Shiro warned him “I love Nicki Minaj, but I refuse to twerk in front of your grandfather.”

“That song is from his generation! He would appreciate it…He would also appreciate you twerking, I’m certain.”

“Your grandfather is blind.”

“Then why are you worried about twerking in front of him?” Adam countered and when Shiro continued to stare at him “Fine, fine. Let’s start easy. Big or small wedding?” He asked and Shiro shuddered.

“Small… I’m trying to find an excuse not to invite Iverson. Although, this _would_ be the ultimate opportunity to prove to him I am gay... Why doesn't he believe me?” He murmured, more to himself than Adam. His fiancée patted his arm.

“Same. I’m trying to find a way not to invite my entire family... Well. My grandpa can come. That’s it though…and my childhood nanny.”

“So…So far our guest list includes Keith, your grandpa and Mila?”

“Elena will bitch if we don’t invite her… Also probably Matt since he’s your best friend. Maybe McClain too.”

“McClain?” Shiro blinked. “Why?”

“I’ll be busy getting married. Someone has to annoy Keith.” Adam pointed out “And the kid complains about him enough that I _know_ he’s a good candidate.” He added and Shiro rubbed his eyes.

“Let’s stick with simple decisions. Small wedding?”

“Small wedding.” Adam agreed and kissed his ring “It’s going to be small, not stressful, and simple.” He promised. Stress was bad for Shiro’s rapidly declining health anyways. They needed to keep it simple. Small. “We can handle that.”

“Definitely.”

* * *

**Flashforward Five years later...**

“ _Eight hundred people are coming_?!” Adam yelled and looked in horror at his fiancée “Pidge, what the _fuck_ do you mean _eight hundred_ people are coming?” He yelled.

“Don’t swear at her,” Shiro murmured, but also looked a little alarmed at the number.

“You guys are celebrities. The ex-Black Paladin of Voltron who is now captain of Atlas. Not to mention his fiancée who is not only the child of two very famous people, but is now running the entire Atlas program _and_ the MFE fighters. Not to mention you guys helped saved the world and went on like...A billion talk shows.”

“Yeah. We’re awesome. That doesn’t mean we have to invite _eight hundred people_ to our wedding!”

“Eight hundred and two,” Pidge said, checking her phone “The US president just added herself on the guest list.”

“Are you kidding me? At least tell me we are getting someone cool.”

“The president of the United States isn’t cool? I think the King of England is coming too.”

“King William?” Adam frowned “I didn't realize he was even still alive. Christ. Where are we even _holding_ this wedding? An opera house?” He groaned “This isn’t fair!”

“I’m taking care of that,” Lance called from across the room “It’s going to be outside so the lions can be included… I get the feeling Red might break in if we try to keep him away. Not to mention we _know_ how Black can be when it comes to Shiro.” He said with a roll of his eyes “I’m thinking a football stadium.”

“Ugh,” Adam wrinkled his nose “People are going to be eating popcorn during our vows apparently. Tacky.”

“I’m trying!” Lance scowled “I didn’t die for this.” He added under his breath and Adam pointed at him.

“Your therapist said not to make those kinds of jokes anymore, Alejandro.” He said and Lance made a face before turning back to his computer “At least Hunk is dependable with the food…” He sighed and from the other room came a scream of horror.

“ _We are not having crab cake at this wedding!”_ Hunk’s voice yelled “Do I look like a _fool_? Crab cake? This isn’t the _Little Mermaid_! We aren’t having flipping Sebastian at the reception! Be serious about this menu or get out of here!” He shouted and there was a pause “Sylvio, your cookie ideas are _splendid_.”

“Thanks, Mr. Hunk!” A small voice came “UNCLE LANCE! MR. HUNK SAID MY COOKIES ARE GOOD!”

“Good job, Sylvio!” Lance called to his nephew absently “Make sure Mr. Hunk stops yelling at his computer.”

“GOOGLE IS SUGGESTING CRAB CAKES, LANCE!” Hunk shouted “They are a _trillion_ dollar company now! You would think their search engines could come up with better ideas than _this_!”

"Don't you have Gordon Ramsay on speed dial?" Shiro calmly pointed out "If you need help, just ask him."

"The man is over a hundred now! The only reason he's alive is because they put his conciousness into a robot - I can't bother him unless it is _dire_." Hunk called back and Pidge rolled her eyes. The situation certainly sounded dire. "LOBSTER! Finally we are being _reasonable_ here...Sylvio, should the cookies be chocolate chip or sugar?"

"Oatmeal raisin!"

"Don't make me fire you, Sylvio."

"....Chocolate chip."

"Where's Allura?" Lance suddenly called "I need to ask her if she can use her magic to seat these people." He said, tapping warily at his laptop. Shiro shrugged, looking unbothered by his absent friend. Pidge yawned.

"She's trying to figure out which news crews are coming."

" _News crews_?" Adam groaned "Did we consent for this to be televised?"

"No," Shiro hummed, still unbothered. "We did not... Does anybody need any help?" He asked, folding his arms over his chest. The room gave various answers, none of which gave any indication if any help was actually needed. Before Shiro could ask again, Keith walked in.

"I finished cake testing." He said "I swear I tried at least a dozen flavors. Why do you even need a specific cake anyways?" He muttered, rolling his eyes. Adam rolled his eyes right back before answering.

"I'm more concerned with how we are getting enough cake for eight hundred people," He sighed "What are the options?"

"Butter Pecan, Carrot, Chocolate Fudge, SuperMoist Spice, Party Rainbow Chip, Confetti-"

"Wait...What?" Adam interrupted "What bakery calls a wedding cake SuperMoist Spice? Where did you go?" He asked bewildered. Keith stared back at him, brows furrowed a bit as he licked some icing off of his fingers.

"...Food Lion."

"You went to a _grocery store_?" Adam asked, voice going a bit high "What the Hell did you do? Buy a bunch of Betty Crocker packets and taste the batter?!"

"Well...Yeah."

"LANCE!" He yelled and turned to Shiro to use as a human stress ball. Shiro patted his finacée's shoulder.

"Come on, Keith." Lance said, pushing his laptop away from him "Let's go to a bakery."

"What does a bakery have that Food Lion doesn't?" Keith argued, letting his boyfriend grab his hand and pull him from the room "Adam is such a snob."

"Demon." Adam mumbled. Pidge hummed in acknowledgement, still tapping away at the guest list.

"I'm going to try to make an algorithm to figure out who should be seated with where...." She murmured and Shiro rose an eyebrow at her.

"Maybe get some sleep first," He suggested "We have some time to figure this all out."

"Sure, sure." She said absently "I wonder if I have all the raw data I need to at least make a template... Hey, how do you guys feel about a fight breaking out during the ceremony? Good entertainment or try to avoid?" She asked and Shiro shrugged. Adam pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No fighting unless it is with me." He said and Pidge clicked her tongue.

"So I'll put Keith in the front row-"

" _No_."

* * *

"I have found the warriors for the celebration!"

"The...What?" Allura asked, looking up from where she had just finished conversing with several humans over filming the upcoming union. Krolia gestured her over to where she had listed out several names - some of which with Galran writing and notes scrawled beside them.

"The warriors," She shrugged "I assume human weddings work similarly to the unions between our species?" She frowned. Allura tilted her head. She honestly hadn't thought much of it. Altean unions were very similar to the Galra's due to the fact they had been long-standing allies before the war took place.

"Probably," She reasoned. There seemed to be a lot of overlap between cultures when looking at the big picture. It was just some minor details that differed. "So you think they'll want a warrior fight?"

"Who wouldn't?" Krolia asked and pointed at the paper "I'm thinking we can have the annoying one...Uh, Griffin fight the fun girl."

"Rizavi?"

"Exactly!" Krolia nodded and Allura hummed.

"Maybe we should have him fight Lance's sister too."

"Which one?"

"Oh...Uh. Both?"

"Good idea."

"Hey...Do human weddings have that thing where you send them locks of hair from all the guests to honor their union?" Allura frowned. She wasn't around for her parents wedding, but she had attended quite a few growing up and that had always been a large part of it. Krolia shrugged, touching her own hair absently.

"...Maybe we should ask Pidge for the guest list."

* * *

George was tired.

Very. Very. Tired.

He had agreed to watch over his brother's flower shop for the day while he was out visiting his girlfriend. He had thought it would be a nice change of pace from the grocery store, which was always filled with people causing problems and screaming about sales tax. Recently, things had calmed down...but now that the paladins were back he knew it was only a matter of time before someone tried to blow the whole place up.

As it turned out...Florist work was not much better.

"No, no, no. I need _anfofea_ flowers, my boy. They are the only shade that will bring out the love this union is trying to potray."

"Sir... I've never heard of that color in my life." George sighed for what must have been the thousandth time. The man in front of him frowned, pulling at his mustache as he flowered around the shop. "Maybe try something like...I don't know. Purple? Blue? Red? Red is good for people in love." He suggested.

"Red is for blood. War. Never love."

Right. That explained why George was still single.

"What color is for love then?"

" _Anfofea_!"

"We don't have that color here!" He groaned "Maybe... Try a certain type of flower. Roses?"

"Roses?" The man asked, looking thoroughly offended. "What are _roses_?" He asked and when George gestured to the large display case, gasped. "Horrible! You sell those weeds? And people _buy_ them?" He asked and walked around the store, scowling. George sank a bit lower behind the counter. Maybe he should consider a job that _didn't_ involve talking to people. Perhaps... Carpentry. Writing. A mortician.

"Lilies?" He suggested and pointed at another display. The man tilted his head consideringly before sighing.

"No, no. They don't look as though they have been blessed by a Polventoof."

George didn't ask. He didn't want to know.

"What exactly _is_ this event?" He tried instead "Are you trying to get someone to like you? A engagement? Wedding?"

"Yes! A wedding indeed. For a good friend of mine, Takashi Shirogane and his lovely fiancée Adam Frasier. Do you know of them?" The man asked, accidentally knocking over a vase of daisies as he spoke. George closed his eyes.

Why could he not escape these people?

* * *

"Come on... It's going to be fun!" Lance tried as they walked down the street. Keith shrugged, seemingly unconvinced as he kicked the sidewalk and looked up at the sky. Lance bit his lip. “Maybe after this we can take a break and visit some coalition members?” He asked “I think some of them wanted to come to the wedding anyways.” 

“Sure,” Keith murmured. Lance frowned. Out of all of them, Keith’s adjustment back to Earth was going the roughest. Space was a bit like a drug for him at this point. He would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and just take Black out. Sometimes he would even disappear for days. 

Lance was not a fan of it. 

Sure, he understood. Keith didn’t quite belong with humans - he never really fit in on Earth - so it made sense that he would find comfort among other planets and stars.

But like. A heads up would be cool. Or maybe a text. A handwritten letter. Something that gave a clear sign of ‘hey Lance, not dead’ you know? Was he asking for too much? 

Sighing, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Fine. Whatever. It wasn’t like he expected Keith to turn into Prince Charming when they started dating anyways. The guy would always annoy him no matter what label they slapped on it. 

With that in mind...he went to the part of their relationship that he knew best.

”I bet I can eat more cake than you.”

”....that’s a stupid bet.”

”Yeah, because you know you can’t beat me. I understand.” 

“No. It’s literally just stupid.”

”Okay, mullet. We’ll just say you were too scared to face me in a cake eating contest and leave it at that.” He hummed and felt Keith’s eyes narrow “I'm sure people expect that sort of thing anyways. Pidge _does_ say you've become kind of whipped since we started dating." He added casually, knowing just the right words to get a hint of yellow in Keith's eyes.

"I am _not_."

"Uh huh," Lance hummed "I mean, I surely don't mind-"

"Winner gets to pick out the cake." Keith interrupted and Lance hid a grin of success. "Meaning if _I_ win then we just grab some packets at Food Lion and be done with it."

Fuck. Adam was going to kill him.

* * *

 "...who are you?" Pidge frowned as she stopped typing to tilt her head the intruder. The lady in front of her stared, not replying as she placed down her bag and looked around the room. Pidge was about to snap out her question again when a second person entered.

"Are we in the right place? No? Yes? There is a small child here so I can't be sure," The man said as a way of greeting. The woman didn't respond to him, but turned at his appearance, offering what Pidge could only describe as a sarcastic smile.

"I'm not a child." She offered and the pair turned to her "And I still don't know who you are?"

The man chuckled, shaking his head as if he said something funny and Pidge debated screaming for Hunk to help her because this man was clearly some kind of crazy psycho. Where were Adam and Shiro? She looked around for the pair, but they looked to have disappeared. Typical. Pursing her lips, she sighed, digging around her stuff to find her bayard.

"I was hoping we would get set-up in a hotel or something - then again, I'm not sure he knows we're coming. Did you send someone to tell him?" The man rambled as the lady made herself at home in one of the armchairs "No matter, I could perhaps call in some favors and get us somewhere more..." He trailed off, looking around Adam's apartment before dropping the sentence altogether "What do you think, love?" He asked. Before there was time for an answer, Pidge held up her bayard.

"I'm giving you one more chance to tell me who the fuck you are before I barbeque you." She announced. Two pair of eyes snapped to her.

"Are you _threatening_ us?"

"Did you not hear me you little-"

"Dad? Mom...?"

Ohhhhhhh. Okay. That made sense.

"Adam!" The man yelled, probably shaking the entire house "Just the man we were looking for! I would recommend you hire better help. This young man was threatening us a moment ago."

"I'm not hired help!"

"She's a girl." Adam supplied. There was a bang and the kitchen door opened again.

"Hi Isabella. Marcus." Shiro said, nodding as he entered the room. He looked nervously at Pidge before eying the bayard in her hand "I didn't know you were coming."

"Me neither," Adam muttered "What are you doing here?"

"We're here for the wedding of course!" Marcus chuckled "Why would we miss such an event?"

"Takashi said you missed my funeral," Adam pointed out "I didn't think you would mind missing my wedding."

"Of course we missed your funeral! Funerals are hardly any fun," Marcus sighed, shaking his head "No...Life at those things. Ha! Perhaps not the best joke. Anyways, you ended up alive anyhow so I don't see why that would matter much." He added, clapping Adam on the shoulder "Tell me, are you inviting any aliens to this thing? I have a few action movies coming up and was wondering-"

"Uh...Actually," Adam said "Funny story. There is-" He started, but was cut off by Isabella saying something to him in Spanish. Pidge tilted her head. She had been around Lance long enough to pick up a few basic words. She got the feeling whatever Isabella was saying wasn't terribly nice. Adam sighed and replied before gesturing subtly towards Shiro. Marcus blinked, seemingly just realizing he had entered the room.

"Takashi! That arm is _amazing_. Do you mind if-"

"Nope!" Adam interrupted "We are not using my fiancée's arm as a movie prop, dad." He said and Isabella snorted, crossing her arms before glowering a bit a Shiro. Interesting. Shiro shuffled a bit under the weight of her glare and Pidge narrowed her eyes. Oh Hell no. She brought out her phone and discreetly sent out a text. There was one person in the world that she knew would defend Takashi Shirogane until she died...And would gladly fight Isabella over the rudeness if needed.

"It wouldn't be a prop, Adam! More of a-"

"Help."

The door slammed open and Pidge sighed. Lance and Keith walked in, both a bit green in the face with their nose wrinkled and slightly hunched over. Adam stared at them and sighed. Shiro's eye widened a bit and he took a few steps towards them, trying to steady the pair of idiots that Pidge was forced to call her friends.

"What happened?" Shiro asked, feeling the side of their faces.

"I did it for you," Lance whispered "So much...Cake. Oh. Hola Isabella!" He chimed in weakly and Adam's mom straightened a bit before saying something in Spanish. Lance replied and for the first time, Pidge saw a geniune smile grace her lips.

"Ah, Alejandro. You've grown." She said in accented English "I hear you are dating Keith now. How are you, _nieto_?" She asked, turning to Keith. Adam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Mama, I've told you a thousand times that Keith is _not_ my child. Stop calling him grandson."

"Is that what that means?" Keith muttered, leaning heavily on Lance "I thought she's just been calling me neat for years."

"I'm going to throw up." Lance announced and slid a card across the table "There's the name of the bakery and the cake flavor. I'm going to go die again now."

"Your therapist said-" Adam began, but was cut off by Lance throwing a shoe at him.

" _Leave me alone_!" He whined and collapsed on the couch. Keith opted to just lie on the floor and groan.

"Takashi...What have you done to these children?" Isabella frowned. "You are killing them now? Hm? Killing them with cake?"

"I don't think it is Shiro's fault," Pidge piped up "Your grandchildren are dumbasses."

"They _aren't my children_!"

* * *

"Those are some very large flower crowns."

Romelle looked up from her current knot to smile at Shiro as he approached where she was sitting in the middle of the park. The place was practically empty aside from a few walkers with with dogs. He eased down next to her and picked a few flowers up to help.

"They're for the lions. They should look snazzy for the wedding too. I asked Allura if she would enchant them so the flowers stay alive for a couple months!" She informed him brightly and handed him a few to help her "What are you doing here? You didn't bring me another present, did you? You need to stop with that." She warned him and as an answer, Shiro brough out a box and shoved it towards her.

"It's called chocolate," He smiled "You'll like it."

"I'm sure I will," Romelle told him and despite her initial protest at the gift, eagerly dropped the flowers to unwrap it. "Are you going to do this for the rest of your life?" She asked and Shiro shrugged.

"Maybe. If you hadn't found Adam..." He trailed off before shaking his head "He might not be here. He's not the kind of person that says thank you for a lot of things, but I am." He said and looked down at his hands "I don't think there is anything in the world I can get you that will show how grateful I am... So I'll just get you a little bit of everything." He said and Romelle snorted, face stained with chocolate.

"I guess I can't complain too much," She admitted, licking her fingers "But just so you know, Adam is too the kind of person that says thank you... Just as much as you do, actually." She hummed and plopped a few more chocolates in her mouth "Oh my quiznak it is like eating a...a..."

"Adam, _thanked_ you?" Shiro interrupted. Romelle shook her head. She chewed for a few seconds, trying to swallow the massive amount of chocolates that were puffing out her cheeks so she looked a bit like a chipmunk.

"He talks to Black every morning," She said, mouth still full "He thanks her for keeping you alive and offers her blackmail on Keith as payment."

Ah. That sounded more like the man he tragically fell in love with. Romelle choked and Shiro flushed as he realized he had said the words aloud.

"Why aren't you with him now?"

"My future in-laws just arrived," Shiro shuddered "And it is a well-known fact that Isabella would very much like my head on a platter." He sighed and Romelle cocked her head a bit "She honest to God thinks I'm Lucifer himself. One time I walked into the room and she started _praying_. The woman isn't even religious." He groaned and shook his head "I hope Adam's grandfather and Mila come. They sometimes take my side." He mumbled. Mila was a sweet little woman who had raised Adam when his parents weren't around. She didn't speak English, but she _did_ smile a lot so Shiro figured they were friends.

"What about your family?" Romelle asked him, licking her fingers clean and starting on the flower crowns again "When are they coming?"

Shiro paused. He looked at the Altean. Keith had told him she had lost her family due to Lotor's ambitions. Of course, Keith had practically adopted Romelle anyways. Once, a reporter asked if she had any family and after Romelle forced out the word 'no' Keith had appeared from nowhere to loudly announce she had spent time with them on the back of a space whale and she was his sister and not to ever ask her that question again.

Reporters stopped interviewing her altogether after that.

"My family is already here." He told her gently and knotted at the flowers.

"To clarify...You mean us, right?"

"Yes, Romelle. I mean you."

"Not Isabella?"

"God, no. If she didn't love Keith so much, she would have murdered me long ago."

"Why does she love Keith?"

"I don't know. I think she finds his rage endearing." Shiro sighed. Romelle considered this for a moment before shrugging.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Keith too, but I don't think that would stop me from murder or anything."

"I'm really glad you like me then." Shiro said and Romelle smiled brightly before handing him another flower.

* * *

"Hey Keith?"

"Hm?"

"You're Shiro's best man, right?" Lance asked. He had rolled off of the couch in order to join his boyfriend on the ground. Pidge had left to join Hunk in the kitchen and Adam had taken his parents - presumably to a safe location... Lance was a little worried he might be thinking about dropping them off in a shark-infested tank. The cake prevented him from worrying to much about it.

"Yeah. And your Adam's. We've been over this."

"Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking we should probably figure out what we're going to say for the speech."

A pause.

"For the what?"

"Uh. The speech? You know we have to give one, right? ...Keith?"

He sat up and to his slight shock and horror, found Keith holding in tears.

"I fucking hate them so much. I don't deserve this. I should have let Shiro fucking die _that fucking asshole-"_

"Oh my God, Keith."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put this down as 5 chapters because A LOT is going to be happening in this fic. I have a storyline for Klance, Adashi (obviously), Krolia, the Holts - literally everyone so buckle up. I also had some amazing suggestions from ellie-333, kittysmithman, lainexox, glacecakes, and hikarivits on tumblr so shoutout to them. If you have anything that you really want to see in this wedding let me know now because I am about to finalize my plans for the next couple of chapters! 
> 
> Lastly, I had a few people asking if I was planning on putting my one-shots for this series on ao3 as well. I...might. lol. I haven't decided officially yet, but someone mentioned just adding one last fic titled 'Basically One-Shots' or something and sticking all of them there so my dash doesn't become too crowded which is an idea I kind of like. Either way, I'll probably be posting them to tumblr first and if I decide to upload them here that'll be a bit later. I'll keep you guys updated on how that goes! 
> 
> Anyways! Thanks for reading! I'll try to get the next chapter up ASAP


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Here's a chapter.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Voltron

"What is _wrong with you_?! Do you honest to God think that we are going to have a DJ? Live music. Final decision."

"Are you kidding me? No! We aren't having a live band!"

"Why not?!"

"Because there is no diversity in the music, obviously. There are going to be nine hundred people there. I doubt they all like  _one_ band."

"Wait," Adam called from across the room "Nine hundred? When did it get to be nine hundred?"

"Hey losers," Pidge piped in, yawning as she took a bite of Hunk's practice recipe "Just a quick reminder...This isn't your wedding."

Keith and Lance scowled at one another, arms crossed and chins jutted out. 

"Fine. What do _you_ think Adam?" Came the irritated response as Lance looked at his friend. They were surrounded by a million different papers, each scribbled upon and marked out aggressively while some were balled up in the corner of the room. One paper remained untouched in the midst of all the chaos between Keith and Lance. Keith threw his hands up in the air as Lance's question.

"Oh shut up. You know he'll take your side. Shiro?"

"Like Shiro won't take yours?!" Lance argued "Bullshit!" He yelled back and Shiro rose a hand to silence the pair. It wasn’t the first argument they had...it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Yesterday they argued about the color scheme. The day before that was over the type of paper the registry should be on.

Shiro and Adam were beginning to wonder if they were the ones still getting married. 

“We can have both, alright? Adam?” Shiro asked and Adam opened his mouth...looked at Lance then at Shiro again before offering and apologetic smile. 

“Both is great!” He said and Lance gave a small huff of betrayal. Adam offered a wry shrug. The paladin rolled his eyes, watching as Shiro leaned over to whisper something in his fiancée's ear. He wasn't for sure what it was, but it made Adam smile brightly up at him before leaving the room while practically skipping. Keith made a face at them and sighed. Weird. Perhaps he knew what they were going to do. Lance watched as his boyfriend muttered something about bonding with Black and left. Again. Right. 

Lance almost wanted to yell after him and ask if 'bonding' meant 'leaving for a couple hours to God knows where' but resisted the temptation. He wasn't _clingy_ after all...And he didn't want to have an actual argument over it. Besides, it wasn't like he could actually _stop_ Keith from doing what he wanted. He made sure he tapped a bit into his connection with Red in case the lion sensed something wrong.  

“You guys argue so much,” Pidge muttered when Lance sat down next to her, stealing a bite of her food. She went to stab him with a fork, but ultimately let him have a piece “I thought it would end now that you’re dating.”

”Why would it end?” Lance sighed, rubbing his temples “We’re spending more time together.”

”Yeah, but I figured you two would just bang out the frustration and then the sexual tension would be gone. For some reason it’s higher than ever now.” She pointed out and Lance froze. 

...huh. Sex. Interesting, interesting.

So like. They hadn’t had sex yet. Was that a problem? Should they have? Did people think they did? Pidge clearly thought they had..then again, what did Pidge know? Aside from everything. 

Holy fuck. Lance was clearly doing something wrong. Was...was that the reason Keith kept disappearing? Was Lance not doing the basic stuff to keep their relationship going?

Fuck. He hadn’t even thought about it. He just figured they would kind of get there eventually... 

“Lance...?” Pidge asked, poking his cheek. He jumped. This was _level 1000 emergency_. He had to act fast.

”I’ll be right back.” He choked out and left a bewildered Pidge with her food on the couch. From the corner of  his eye, he could see her shrug before resuming her lunch. Good. He didn't need her asking questions.

After all...There was only person he could go to in these dire times. 

"Adam?" He asked, walking into the kitchen. The room was an absolute disaster with Hunk half-asleep in some experimental dish that he said might be poisonous if he didn't get exactly right. On the opposite end of the room, his niece and nephew were coloring calmly. He smiled and walked over.  They could calm him down.

"Hi Uncle Lance!"

"Hey, bobos." He greeted and knelt down to see Nadia was drawing Lance in what appeared to be a very fierce battle while Sylvio was focused on drawing Red shooting fire out of his mouth. Lance tilted his head. "What's that?" He asked, pointing to the corner of Nadia's drawing.

"That's Keith!" His niece informed him brightly, pointing at the red blob that Lance could now see resembled his boyfriend "He's blowing you kisses in the corner."

"Gross!" Sylvio said, making a face "Keith and Uncle Lance don't _kiss_."

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Uh..." Lance blinked and the pair turned to him, each looking with earnest eyes.

"Uncle Lance and Keith are _dating_. Right? So that means you kiss!"

Wow. His own niece was unwittingly calling him out right now.

"Well. I mean," He spluttered a bit, feeling his face heat up "Sometimes."

Sometimes being once in a blue moon when the stars were perfectly aligned, there was a slight breeze, it was a Tuesday, and both Keith and Lance had said a magic spell. Dear God. His relationship was _doomed_ wasn't it? How had he not noticed this before?

"Ugh," Sylvio said and kept coloring "Uncle Lance... You're going to get cooties. Make sure you brush your teeth." He clicked his tongue "Mama says you should only kiss people you love. Do you love Keith?"

Lance was going to have an existential crisis in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"Have you two seen Adam?" He asked, voice going high. Nadia nodded, exchanging her blue marker for a pink one and looking at Hunk with an evil gleam in her eye that Lance knew too well, but was too panicked to really focus on at the moment. She pointed vguaely towards Adam's room, which was at the other end of the apartment and Lance let out a sigh of relief. Of course he was in his room. Kissing her on the cheek (but not Sylvio because 'I don't want Keith's cooties, thank you very much') he stood up and made his way to the corner of the apartment and throwing open the door.

"Adam, I need to talk to you about..."

Silence.

"Lance. Hey."

Silence.

"Uh...Lance? Maybe...Maybe a different time?"

Silence.

"We broke him, Takashi."

"Are you _fucking kidding me_?!" Lance groaned and hit the doorframe in frustration. It was as if the world was giving him a universal message.

"No, but we are fucking so if you could please leave-"

" _Adam_!" Shiro hissed, covering his face with a blanket but Lance had already held up in his hands in surrender. Honestly. His life was a series of unfortunate events at this point. Muttering, he spun from the room. "CLOSE THE DOOR!" Shiro yelled after he left, but was cut off by a horrified scream.

"OUT! OUT NOW!"

" _My eyes_!" Pidge yelled "I didn't ask for this. I didn't deserve this. You have a door. You have an _actual door_ that _closes_. I swear-"

"Lance was the one that didn't close it!"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS LANCE DOING IN HERE?!"

"Pidge _get out!"_

"You guys don't even have any water in here. What happens if you get thirsty?"

"I swear to God, Katie-"

* * *

"I have good news and bad news!" Romelle said, throwing a few locks of hair in an ever-growing pile. Krolia and Allura glanced up from their planning to acknowledge her as she planted her hands on her hips, lips pursed in a frown as she looked at them. "Good news. I got hair from most of the royal family. Bad news: King William is bald. Is he just not allowed to come to the wedding?"

"We could scalp him," Krolia suggested "I think that is done sometimes."

"You can't scalp a _king_!" Allura said, horrified "Where would his crown go? No. There must be a better way. Perhaps he could give something else to honor the union...What body parts can humans regrow?" 

"Definitely not arms or legs," Romelle sighed, thinking of Adam and Shiro "Maybe teeth?"

"Ooh! A tooth would be good. I remember Keith telling me that humans have tales of...what was it? A fairy that collects teeth and provides payment for the tooth? So clearly humans have the ability to lose and regrow them." Krolia nodded "Good thinking, Romelle." She praised "Come help us plan the warrior fights!" She added, patting the empty space next to her "Here's what we were thinking. The wedding will be here and the guests will be all around here." She said, gesturing to a map Lance had given them earlier of the park he had booked for the event. "The altar of the wedding will be on a stage so everyone can see...so we were thinking the warrior fights could take place here."

"In a lake?"

" _Water warrior fights_."

"That...Is absolutely genius." Romelle said, voice laced with awe. Krolia smiled warmly at the Altean in return, patting her arm before going back to the plans in question. Romelle took the opportunity to dig into her bag, pulling out a pink flower crown that matched the one she had made the lions earlier. "Uh, your highness?" She said, shuffling a bit closer to where Allura was writing something down "Here!" She said, thrusting out the flower crown.

Allura stared blanky.

"I know it isn't an _actual_ crown or anything, but I know you gave your tiara up to help Shiro with his prosthetic so I thought maybe you would like..." She trailed off, flushing a little as she looked at Allura's face to the flowers still in her hands "Well. Yeah. I mean... Obviously it is a bit silly-"

"For me?" Allura asked, taking the flowers from her.

"Yeah! It's pink because your armor is pink and stuff." She said and puffed out her chest "I'll have you know I _am_ an expert flower crown maker so you can rest assure it is top quality." She added and a hint of amusement crossed the princess' features as she picked up the flowers from her hand and tilted her head.

"They look a bit like juniberries," She murmured and placed it on top of her head "Thank you Romelle. I feel very royal again." She smiled and Romelle blinked. 

"Oh. Right. Yeah." Romelle said, wringing her hands and giving a nervous laugh "I better go help Coran! I promised I would help him with more flower stuff... Lots of flowers at weddings, I guess. Strange." She rambled and almost tripped over a table as she tried to get out the door. Krolia watched her exit calmly before turning to Allura and staring.

"Princess?"

"Hm?" Allura asked, peering in a piece of glass to stare at the crown at her head and adjusting it slightly.

"If Romelle ever sees you without that thing on your head I will personally be adding your name to the warrior fights."

"You are a very violent woman, Krolia."

"Have you met my son?"

* * *

"Oh! You must be Isabella!"

"The battle is commencing," Matt whispered as he slid onto an armchair next to where Shiro was watching the scene in front of him with a growing sense of horror "Colleen Holt versus Isabella Frasier. Who will come out victorious?" He whispered dramatically, gesturing wildly in front of them. Shiro hit his side.

"What did you do?!" He growled and Matt shrugged.

"It wasn't me. It was Katie. She apparently texted mom that Isabella was being rude to you and...Well. You know my mother." He sighed with a shake of his head. Shiro bit his lip. He adored Colleen. He really did. Once Katie and Matt had sat down and told her everything that had happened in space - Shiro saving Matt from the arena, protecting Katie and helping her find her brother with Voltron, etc... Colleen had decided that she would protect the man at all cost and that was that. Shiro wasn't really sure how to deal with it quite honestly. Anytime someone breathed a bad word about him she was suddenly...there. With a wide smile, some waffles, and a thirst for vegenance. It was actually kind of scary. This guy once made a comment about about how he looked better with black hair and Colleen offered to make him some tea.

The man was never heard from again.

So Shiro was well aware that his future mother-in-law was in great peril at the moment.

”Oh, you have to try out my fruit cake recipe,” Colleen was saying “I gave it to Takashi the other day - Takashi! How was the fruit cake?” She yelled and Shiro gave a bright smile before giving her a thumbs up.

”Dear God,” Matt whispered “She’s even bringing up the fruit cake.” 

"At least she didn't say anything about curtains yet. You know shit gets real when Colleen brings up curtains," Shiro muttered and lightly nudged his friend "Do you think Black would be willing to absorb my quintessence again if this goes badly?" Matt hit his arm.

"No death jokes. You and Lance are under strict orders."

"Technically I said nothing about death."

"Shiro."

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry," He muttered and flinched when Colleen put her hand warmly on Isabella's arm. Dear God this was stressful. "Is it bad I'm cheering your mom on?"

"You better pray to whatever higher force you believe in that Adam never hears you say that." Matt muttered "Bet you twenty bucks my mom makes a passive agressive comment about Isabella's parenting skills."

"Bet you forty that she'll start calling your mom names in Spanish by the end of the conversation."

"Bet you sixty my mom will retaliate in binary code."

"Nonsense. You can't speak in binary code."

"You're on then." Matt told him and scribbled down the bets and prices before handing Shiro a handful of skittles as they watched what they were sure to be a full-out war begin. 

"Oh and I found the most _beautiful_ curtains on sale the other day-"

"Fuck." Shiro and Matt whispered together.

* * *

“Lance, we need to go pick out my wedding suit later,” Adam said as the distraught teenager entered the now empty kitchen (Hunk had taken the kids out on a 'mystery mission') to find his friend looking at different color swabs. They all looked exactly the same. Lance didn’t bother to comment on that.

”When did you and Shiro start having sex?” 

Adam froze. Very slowly he turned to look at Lance. There was a beat of silence.

“Uh...we...we’ve never had sex. Nope. Didn’t do that yet. Waiting for marriage. Boy. I sure do wonder what it will be like...very excited to find out.” 

“I feel the need to point out you were definitely not playing Twister under those sheets earlier.”

"First of all, that was yoga. Second of all, we will never speak of that again." 

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Well when did you and Shiro start doing yoga together?" Lance sighed, running a distressed hand through his hair. Adam shrugged.

“The general rule of thumb is to wait until you’re forty.” 

“You aren’t even thirty yet!”

”Why are you asking me this?!” Adam sighed, throwing down the swabs “Is this Keith's fault? I bet it is. Who am I kidding? Of course it is! Listen. I've known the kid for awhile and I can assure you that he is probably not skilled in that area. Feel free to wait.”

" _Adam,_ " Lance hissed "We aren't even...I just...I don’t know!" Lance groaned "I mean, _he_ hasn't mentioned it."

"But...You want to?" Adam asked, wrinkling his nose "Why? Did you hit your head or something?"

"No! And I don't know!" Lance said, voice going high with panic "He might run off into space again  _forever_ if we don't though!" He said, voice bordering on yelling. Adam blinked. They stared at one another for a few seconds before Adam very carefully folded his fingers together and brought them to his mouth. There were a few more seconds of silence.

"Okay," Adam said after a long breath "Okay. So. First of all - and this is just a general question so I get a better understanding of the situation - but uh...maybe. Just explain. Not in great detail, but a general overview of...um...what the actual fuck is going on?"

"Help me."

"Personally, if you not having sex with Keith makes him run off into space then I'm not entirely sure I want to help you."

"I'll start crying if you don't."

"Fuck. Fine. Jesus, kid." Adam muttered.

* * *

"Everyone, this is Sylvio and Nadia. Sylvio and Nadia...This is everyone." Hunk said, gesturing to assortment of people in front of them. The kids waved with some enthusiasm at the group while people warily looked around at one another. "When I'm not here...They are in charge."

"What are we in charge of, again?" Nadia asked, tugging at Hunk's vest "I forgot."

"Uh...Of my business." He said, patting her head "It's a secret business though...You can keep a secret, right?" He asked and the kids looked at one another before nodding eagerly. Hunk beamed. "RIGHT!" He yelled to the group "So we have a wedding coming up that is expected to feed  _nine hundred people_. Some are aliens. Some are humans. Some are assholes. We must come together as one to ensure that they are fed the best food of their _lives_. I have created the menu and will teach you how to make each dish _perfectly_. By the time we leave here today you will be prepared to make endless amounts of food for this event. Understand?" He called out and there were some 'yes, sirs' and murmured affirmation that rippled over the crowd.

"Wow..." Nadia whispered, turning to her brother "He's cool. I want to have a secret business too!"

"I want a secret business!"

Hunk put a hand over his heart.

"I'm glad I can inspire the next generation," He told them "Come on, I'll teach you everything you need to know. We have a lot to do before this wedding. Now remember - what is the rule if you see someone adding too much sauce on the desert?"

"Kill them!"

"Uh...No."

"Kill them gently!"

"Wha-? No! Take the sauce bottle away from them!" Hunk gaped "Who on Earth raised you two?" He asked, but before he could answer, a hand landed on his shoulder. "Darren!" He cried, turning to see one of his old friends from the Garrison. He looked the same as always - almost as if Hunk hadn't disappeared for five years to save the universe. It was a little comforting. 

"Little Tuna," Darren greeted "I had heard you were back, but didn't want to believe the rumors. I hope you don't mind that Draven and I kept the business running while you and Alejandro were gone." He said and crossed his arms. Hunk felt his heart swell. So his work continued on... It was a good thing to hear "It was a rough few years...Also, I like the mustache." He added and Hunk frowned, furrowing his brows. He had seen some magical things in space...none of which resulted in magical facial hair. He brought a hand up to his lip in confusion.

Nadia giggled.

”Did you draw on my face?” He asked her. 

“No.”

”Nadia...”

”Only a little,” she pouted and Sylvio made a face that told Hunk it was more than a little. He turned to Darren. 

“What color is it?”

”Neon pink.” 

You know what? Hunk could rock it. He once pulled off electric blue lipstick. A pink mustache should be a breeze. Actually.... That reminded him...

“Hey Nadia...” He said slowly and turned back to the girl “Would you like a secret mission for my business?” He asked and Nadia’s eyes widened as she nodded eagerly. Hunk smiled. Perfect. 

He leaned down to whisper the instructions. The girl nodded stoically, taking her orders. 

“I won’t let you down. I promise.” She said, holding out a pinky. Hunk took it and patted her head.

"Go on then. Make me proud. Sylvio and I will take care of this." Hunk promised and turned back to the group in front of him "ALRIGHT TEAM! LET'S GO RAID THE SUPPLY CLOSET!"

"GET READY TO RAID THE LIFE OUT THIS MOTHER TRUCKER!” Sylvio screamed and the room paused.

”Are you okay?”

”My mama says that after Uncle Lance went missing I bottled up a lot of anger.”

”Huh.”

* * *

"Hey...What are you doing for Shiro's bachelor party?" Lance asked, throwing himself down next to his boyfriend. Keith immediately took the opportunity to bury his face into his chest before screaming very loud. "Are...You okay?"

"Being best man is the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

"You grew up an orphan, dude."

"Don't call me dude, we're dating." Keith muttered and rubbed his eyes "This is so fucking stressful. But yeah. Bachelor party. I'm honestly just taking Shiro to a spa and keeping him relaxed for the day," He said "I think he would appreciate a nap more than an actual party at this point." He admitted and Lance groaned.

"Lucky. I can't get away with that for Adam. The guy is a leg down but is still talking about trying to outrun the police. What kind of bachelor party am I going to have to throw that will involve outrunning the police?" He asked and moved in a little closer. Keith didn't seem to notice.

"Trust me. If Adam is at the party he will do all the work for you there," Keith snorted and rolled his shoulders "Need a break? I was going to meet up with the coalition members if you want to come." He asked leaning a bit more into him. Lance could have sighed with relief at the action.

"A field trip, huh?" Lance asked, a smile playing at his lips "Yeah. I've been meaning to talk to you about something anyways-"

"HEY!" The doors burst open and Adam stood in the entryway, panting a bit as he looked desperately around for them. Keith and Lance paused to stare at him "What are you two doing?" He asked suspiciously "Why are you so close?"

"Uh...We were talking?" Keith said and Adam walked over before sitting between the pair, pushing Keith over a little as he did so "Hi. We were actually just about to leave to talk some coalition members in Black." He said and Adam hummed a little, nodding for a few seconds.

"I see, I see...The two of you are? Alone?"

"Adam..." Lance hissed and Keith stared. He looked at Lance and the paladin tore his gaze away to keep himself from turning bright red.

”Yes...?" Keith frowned "Is that a problem?” He asked and Adam clicked his tongue as he looked between the two. 

“I was just thinking I should probably go too. It is more polite to invite people to the wedding personally...especially if they are part of the coalition.” He said reasonably and Lance took a long breath. 

Sure, Adam had gone to space a few times now. Shiro had taken him out and he had even visited a few neighboring planets for diplomacy meetings. But the idea of Lance, Keith, and Adam all together in Black was...well. Not appealing. Especially since Adam was being a _traitorous ass_ right now.

“We can really do it ourselves.” Keith told him, voice dripping with disapproval. Adam scowled. 

“I’m coming.” He said and narrowed his eyes at Keith who looked a little baffled at the insistence, but shrugged. 

“Alright...well, uh. Let’s go then.” He said, rising and offered Lance a hand. 

Adam took it before Lance could. 

This was going to be a long, long trip.

* * *

“This one?” 

“No.”

Pidge put her hands on her hips, glowering a bit at her friends. Jenny shrugged and flipped a page in her magazine.

“I liked the first one better,” Kinkade offered and Jenny pointed at him as if to exentuate his point. Pidge sighed and looked in the mirror to scowl at the dress she was currently in.

”What are you guys wearing?” She asked them and Jenny shrugged.

”Ryan is going in a green suit. Like. Dark green with a navy tie. Real classy looking,” she nodded in approval and Kinkade gave an additional nod of confirmation “I’m wearing a forest green dress that goes to my knees and shows off my boobs.” 

“You’re both wearing green?” Pidge asked, tilting her head “Why?” 

The pair stared at her.

”...you’re the green Paladin?” Kinkade offered “And we’re your friends.”

”It isn’t my wedding?” Pidge told them and disappeared behind the changing screen to put on her next dress. When she reappeared, both Jenny and Kinkade nodded their approval. She made a note to add it to the 'maybe' pile.

”I don’t see your point,” Jenny told her and flipped another page in her magazine “The dress code is practically rainbow so I feel as though we can rock green if we so choose.” 

“This is some...very aggressive support.”

“Sorry,” Jenny sighed “I’m in an aggressive mood...Ryan, you take over.” She said and Kinkade got up to grab a few more dresses and slide them over to Pidge. He also handed her at least a dozen accessories to go with the dresses that Pidge wasn't entirely sure were from this store. She shoved the thought away in favor of addressing them on more important matters.

“You’re not mad at me?” Pidge asked him for probably the thousandth time. By the time Pidge had gotten back from space, everyone had found out her real identity. She had expected her friends to be betrayed by the reveal, but if anything they took the news without batting an eye.

”No,” Kinkade informed her for...well. The thousandth time. “Do you need help with the guest list?” He asked and Pidge dropped the dresses to hug him, ignoring his question.

“I feel bad that I lied to you.” 

“Okay.” 

“That’s all you got for me?”

”....yes.” 

Pidge considered this. She looked at Jenny who was still flipping through the magazine. Her friends were really the best. 

“Cool...after this you want to take a break and sneak hair dye in Adam’s dad’s shampoo?” She asked.

There was a pause. 

“Uh. Sure. Can I ask why?”

”I just don’t like him. He keeps trying to steal Shiro's arm for a movie prop. He also tried to get Adam to tell him about almost dying so he could make it into a script for his next film. Hunk and I are going to try to drive him to the brink of insanity and then post it on YouTube when he finally cracks.”  She explained, looking up to read Kinkade's expression. "If you want, you can film." She offered. Ryan was a bit of a nerd when it came to cameras. Sure enough, he shrugged.

“Oh," He said "Alright. Hey Jenny! Want to make an old man’s hair bright green later?” He asked and Jenny gave a thumbs up from where she was on the couch.

“Sure, but I want to get some tacos first."

To reiterate: Pidge had the _coolest_ friends.

* * *

"Thank goodness you're here!" Coran shouted as he heaved more flowers out of the small shop and into his ship. "Grab some bouquets and throw them on here!"

"What is this?" Romelle asked, peering around the half-empty shop. A boy stood behind the counter, face buried in his hands as Coran continued to remove flowers from various rows and shoving them away.

"I decided because there is no perfect flower for the wedding that I will simply collect all the flowers!" Coran yelled. Ah. Okay. That seemed reasonable. "I'll have to fly to a few neighboring planets to see their selection as well. _One_ of them has to have some anfofea flowers." The Altean added, pulling at his mustache. Romelle picked up a vase and began to help. After a few more minutes they eventually got the flowers loaded up onto the ship with a few poking out of the door since it was filled to the rim. It was more of a pod, Romelle thought. But Coran missed the castleship so dearly that she wouldn't dare correct him on the matter.

"Alright..." The boy said "So, uh. Cash or card?"

"What?"

"For the flowers. Are you paying cash or card?"

Coran turned to stare at Romelle. Romelle shrugged, equally confused. The boy looked right back at the pair.

"...you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I'm afraid not, my boy! Thank you for all of your help though. One day I shall show you some proper Altean flowers to thank you for your kindness!"

"Uh, you should thank me by paying. This is - sir. Sir please. You're robbing me..." He trailed off, weakly. His eyes flicked to the flowers already loaded on the ship and the empty store.

"I will give my best to Rob if I see him of course. I'm off then! Romelle, come along." Coran said brightly and Romelle fell into step with him, tilting her head a bit in confusion. The boy continued staring at them, not really moving or reacting. He finally sighed after a few seconds and reached for something in his pocket.

"Who is Rob?" She asked lowly and the Altean shook his head.

"I have no idea," Coran whispered back "But it polite to pretend sometimes when you are confused."

"Oh...I see." She nodded and waved at the boy who had pulled out a phone "We love Rob!"

"....Yes. Yes they are still here. No they haven't threatened me. Dad can you _please_ just come over and arrest them?" The boy groaned "You're a police officer and I'm getting robbed! I....What do you _mean_ you're on a lunch break?!" He asked, voice going high "This is your own child's store and - _don't hang up on m -_ damnit." The boy sighed and pinched his nose. Romelle bit her lip, a bit unsure of how to proceed. She waved.

"Bye!"

"...have a nice day."

* * *

"You promised you would _help_ ," Lance whispered as Adam tugged on the last piece of his suit before heading over toward Black.

"I am saving your life." He informed him and watched as Lance sighed, pushing past him to head over towards Keith. Adam shook his head. He wasn't an idiot. He knew both Lance and Keith well enough to read the struggle between them pretty well. Both reaching for the other, but only catching air. It was frustrating for them he was sure... He knew the feeling all too well. He felt it everytime Takashi used to leave for a mission. Every breath he took while he was gone. In every argument and hospital visit and late in the night when every fear seemed so much more potent than in the shadows of the sun.

But at the same time... Those two should stick to handholding. For Adam's sanity if nothing else.

"Do you have the list of planets?" Lance asked, patting Black as he walked inside the cockpit. Keith tilted his head.

"We need a list?"

"I mean...How else are we going to know where we're going?"

"We...Just use our minds and remember? I..." Keith trailed off, perhaps silenced by the annoyed look that passed over Lance's expression. Adam winced internally. It was like watching a slow motion car wreck. He looked between the two.

"Alright," Lance shrugged when it was clear Keith wasn't going to say anymore "Where are we going then?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Why are you asking me? Why don't you just  _use_ _your mind and remember?_ " Lance mimicked, raising an eyebrow. Keith took a long breath and Adam almost laughed. Almost. There was a beat of silence as Keith started up the lion, both perhaps aware that anything said could result in an argument.

"So..." Adam said, needling between the pair "How is everyone?"

"Perfect."

"Wonderful."

"Great, great." He nodded and before he could change the subject, Keith spoke again.

"Didn't you say there was something you want to talk to me about?" He asked, eyes flicking to Lance, who was moodily staring out the window.

Ugh.

"Uh...Later," Lance said, narrowing his eyes at Adam. Before anyone could comment on that, Keith's comms flickered to life. Adam let out a small sigh of relief, grateful for the interruption and the slight diffusion of tension that flooded the room. A small hologram flickered to life and Takashi's face beamed back at them, waving merrily through the screen. Keith offered a weak smile in return.

"Hi!" Takashi breathed out and ran a hand through his hair "So...We had a few more people arrive to help plan things and I'm not sure where they should go? I was wondering if - ow." Takashi winced as a hand suddenly covered the camera a woman's face appeared.

"Where is he?" A voice asked "I want to see him!"

"I'm here, abuela." Lance snorted and moved so he was in better view "I thought you were coming next week?"

"Not you, Alejandro!" Lance's grandmother said and Adam smirked a but, watching as the paladin gave a small gasp of affront. Camilla seemed unphased by her grandson's reaction and continued gesturing for him to get away, fixing her glasses so she could see them better. Adam pushed Lance aside. 

"Hi Camilla!" He greeted and was also waved away.

"Not you, pretty one. Where is Keith?"

The _nerve_. Adam placed a hand over his chest at the horror of _Keith_ being addressed over _him_. By Lance's grandmother no less. Camilla adored him. She told him so enough times. At least she still referred to him as the pretty one. If Keith ever took that from him than he would throw a riot.

"Uh...Hi, ma'am." Keith said, peering over at her through the comms. His voice went a little jittery, tacking on the title awkwardly. Adam smirked. He had known Keith for awhile - it was always fun to see him struggle with trying to be polite. He was a blunt person by nature. Adam supposed the effort  _was_ a little sweet. Camilla hummed.

"Did you do as I asked?"

Oh boy. Adam turned to Lance, who also looked alarmed.

"Abuela? What did you ask him to do?" Lance demanded "Oh my - please tell me it wasn't something weird-"

"Alejandro, you are not involved in this conversation. What is the joke in English? The clever one?" She asked and turned to Takashi, who shrugged.

"I don't-"

"Ah yes! This is an A and B conversation...C your way out of it." Camilla told him. Lance stood completely still in shock as Adam began to cackle with laughter. Camilla nodded at her own words and went back to Keith "Well, _chiquito_?" She asked and Keith gave a small, nervous laugh.

"Um...Not...Yet..." He said and gave an apologetic gesture. Camilla scowled back. Lance (who apparently had recovered from his grandmother's earlier comment) tapped on his arm, offering a questioning look. "She wants me to learn Spanish." Keith explained and gripped the controls on Black a bit harder.

" _Abuela_!"

"How is he supposed to come to dinner if he can't speak Spanish?"

"By speaking English!"

"Oh, Alejandro. I'd rather not," She clucked her tongue before waving a finger at Keith "You may be pretty, but that will only get you so far with me!" She said and crossed her arms "We cannot gossip in front of people if you do not know Spanish!"

"I'm not much of a gossip...ma'am." Keith admitted, spitting on the unfamiliar title at the end hastily. Camilla stared.

"We will see," She grumbled and handed the communicator back to Takashi "I will go talk to the beautiful man now."

"Uh, Camilla? That's Adam's grandfath- and she's off." Takashi said, looking in the direction she went "Adam, I think you might have an issue to deal with later..."

"Nah, my grandfather swore off women after my grandma stole his dentures when I was twelve." Adam told him and picked up the communicator so he could drift away from the other two "Besides, I have an issue _here_." He whispered lowly "Sexual tension and angst." He added, jerking his head over his shoulder. Takashi rose his eyebrows.

"They slept together?"

"Nope. But that's the part that's freaking Lance out. I'm going to have figure out a way to keep them apart so nothing happens."

"You know they are adults, right?"

"Oh come off of it! Keith tried to not name his dog because he _was waiting for it tell him_." Adam pointed out. Takashi winced. "Last week, Lance almost broke his arm trying to twerk. His _arm_. And yesterday, they almost broke-up over Keith eating the last Oreo. Keith didn't even eat it - Allura did! You want to tell me they are ready for sex?"

Takashi bit his lip. 

"Well...In fairness, you almost broke up with me when I beat you Monopoly the other day-"

"You shouldn't have passed Go and you _know it_." Adam grumbled and shook his head "That's not the same thing anyways. We waited a few months to sleep together-"

"Yeah because for three months you didn't know we were dating."

"Takashi. Who's side are you on?"

"Sorry, sorry. I mean, I agree. I just don't know how you're going to keep them apart." He shrugged "Do you have a plan?"

"...No."

"Well...Good luck then."

"Just make sure-"

"MY HAIR!" A voice screamed, cutting off the conversation. Adam blinked as his father ran into view of the screen, hands clenched in his scalp with a towel around his waist "MY HAIR IS GREEN - WHAT THE...OH MY GOD. ISABELLA?! ISABELLA AM I STILL BEAUTIFUL?!" He cried and he could see his father desperately fall at his mother's feet, wailing. Isabella looked less than impressed. Her eyes flicked to Takashi and Adam had to glare at her, silently warning her not to pin the incident on his fiancée. She rolled her eyes at patted his father's head.

Adam nodded.

"And on that note...I have to go." He told him as his father began to sob.

"Adam, don't you dare leave me!" Takashi yelped, looking in horror over his shoulder. Camilla calmly walked over and tilted her head.

"I don't think it is the hair that is making you ugly," She said and Takashi groaned. “Though I do think it goes quite well with the lovely pink mustache. It reminds me of some of my great granddaughter’s drawings.”

”WHAT’S ON MY FACE?!” His dad screamed "ISABELLA! ISABELLA _DO SOMETHING_!"

"Love you!" Adam said brightly as Takashi shot him a panicked look and laughed at the glare he recieved before the communication was cut off. He sighed. Maybe Adam was the lucky one. At least he didn't have to deal with his parents. Besides how bad could these two - "HEY! Keith, _both hands on the lion_." He yelled and the pair swerved to stare at him.

"I was handing him a-"

"No!"

"Do you think we can leave him behind on a random moon?" Keith muttered.

Nevermind. Adam had it much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...and thus Adam begins his mission of being the ultimate cock-block to protect poor Lance and Keith's innocence. Yikes. 
> 
> Also. Shoutout to the people who have given me their wonderful ideas for this! You are all amazing. I didn't have time to find everyone's names and list them out, but I'll try to do that before the fic ends.
> 
> Coming up: Klance has a talk, Krolia has a very important wedding request, Isabella gives Shiro a marital gift, Lance runs into an issue with Adam's bachelor party, Hunk runs out of basil, Coran goes MIA, and someone spills coffee on Adam's tux... Wish them luck!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? It's me! Warning - long, long chapter ahead. Prepare. Also, I added another one because the Bachelor parties are going to need a whole chapter too and I decided and the actual wedding is for sure going to need 2.
> 
> Enjoy!

Keith was confused.  
  
Not that this was an…unusual event. He found that some social things could just fly over his head…but…he wasn’t entirely sure what he was missing here. Adam was tense. Lance was tense. The poor alien they were talking to was panicking.  
  
“Thank you so much for the honor!” He was saying and tilted his head at Adam “It was a blessing to meet the mate of the ex-Black paladin. I wish you the most prosperous future.”  
  
“Me too,” Adam sighed and Lance nudged him slightly “Thank you!” He added, smiling tightly. Keith almost scoffed. Polite wasn't exactly something normally associated with Adam, but he seemed to be trying. Keith hoped he was suffering.  
  
Lance shook his head a little, amusement playing on his lips as he ducked his head to hide his expression from the group they were addressing. Keith met his gaze and the amusement disappeared.  
  
Well. That wasn’t good.  
  
Despite what people thought, Keith didn’t like arguing with Lance constantly. He liked doing other things too. Have you ever been able to make Lance McClain laugh? It was an extraterrestrial experience to be sure…And this was coming from someone who was literally part alien.  
  
And he couldn’t do that if Lance was acting weird and snappy with him. He wondered if this was how the other boy felt around him and tried to ignore the stab of guilt at the idea that Keith constantly made Lance feel this on edge.  
  
“Hey,” He said, sliding around Adam so he was next to his boyfriend “…are you still mad?”  
  
“Mad?” Lance repeated, “I was never mad.”  
  
Was he lying? Keith wasn’t for sure if believing that statement would lead to his inevitable downfall.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“…but I do want to talk to you about something.”  
  
“Oh,” Keith repeated and looked around. Adam was still attempting to converse with a few other aliens who were wishing him prosperity or whatever. Taking advantage of the situation, he grabbed Lance’s hand and tugged him away from the crowd. He weaved them through a few of the ornate hallways that the higher residents of the planet lived in before looking around to ensure it was empty. “Okay. Go.”  
  
“Are we breaking up?”  
  
“What?” Keith reeled back “I – no? _You_ were the one that wanted to talk.” He pointed out and the implication settled on him “Do you want to break up?”  
  
“No!”  
  
“Well, I don’t!”  
  
“Okay, good.”  
  
“Great.”  
  
A pause.  
  
“But like…” Keith started again “Why did you think I did?”  
  
Lance flushed. It was kind of weird. Usually, Keith was the one who was easily overwhelmed by Lance. The guy smiled at him and Keith thought he could be having a stroke (not that _anyone_ was allowed to know that). Despite his earlier statement that he didn’t like constantly arguing with Lance, he would admit there were times he almost preferred it when they got snippy with one another because, hey. At least that was kind of normal for them. He chalked most of it up to be a weird transition period.  
  
“I just…” He started and looked up, a hand placed on the back of his neck “People…I mean… I thought…” He took a deep breath “Everyone thinks we’re sleeping together and we’re _not_ and I’m not sure what that means and maybe I’m doing something wrong and I have on good authority from Tanya Ellis that I’m a good kisser so-”  
  
“Tanya Ellis?” Keith interrupted “Who is Tanya Ellis?”  
  
“…A girl I dated when I was twelve.”  
  
“And you’re using her as a kissing reference?”  
  
“Are you saying I’m a bad kisser?”  
  
“No! I’m just saying I’m more of a reliable source than she is at this point.”  
  
“Well, I think she’s still somehow managed to kiss me more than you have and you haven’t really given me any feedback!”  
  
“I didn’t realize it was for a grade!” Keith pointed out and because he couldn’t help himself added, “In that case…A minus.”  
  
“A _minus_?” Lance gasped and Keith shrugged. There was always room to improve. Lance scowled at him and he realized he had said that last bit aloud. “I can’t fucking believe…” Lance muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose. They went quiet for a moment, as Lance seemed to recollect his thoughts.  
  
“Lance.”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“What is actually bothering you?” He sighed and the other paladin shuffled a bit. He twisted his hands around and Keith was debating if he should start annoying the answer out of him when Lance suddenly grabbed his arm, squeezing tightly.  
  
“I don’t want you to go!”  
  
Clarity was _not_ a strong point with this boy.  
  
“Go where?” Keith asked, completely exasperated. Did he mean to the wedding? Because if so than Keith would gladly concede to that. He would just have Kinkade film it for him.  
  
“Space,” Lance spluttered out and his hands clenched a little tighter around Keith’s arm “I know you miss it and I _get that_ , which is why you keep taking Black out, but I never know where you are and it is a little scary because I know the war is over, but what if you decide to go back to Blade or find some other super cool space group and want to fight with them and I’m not enough to keep you on Earth and then you just disappear forever and because you can be a complete ass you wouldn’t even say goodbye!”  
  
Keith felt his eyes wide as Lance spilled out this long rant in one breath.  
  
Silence greeted them.  
  
Whoa.  
  
Keith’s mind was a bit numb with shock as he tried to register the words, playing with everything Lance said and slowly nodding as if he understood them.  
  
“Uh…Lance?” He asked, a little tentatively and felt his heart sink when the other boy wouldn’t meet his eyes “I would never leave you.”  
  
“You did before.” Came the weak reply.  
  
Ouch.  
  
“I thought we talked about this,” He sighed, hesitantly reaching out to put a hand on the side of his face. Keith wasn’t a super affectionate person by any means, but he did try with Lance since he seemed to respond pretty well to it. If Keith had known that by simply touching his arm would calm the other boy down then the first couple of weeks of them forming Voltron would have been spent with him glued to Lance. “You know. When Kosmo held us hostage in the kitchen for hours?” He pointed out and Lance rolled his eyes.  
  
“That was a different conversation and you know it.” He muttered. Keith bit his lip. He had a point there. Well. There was only one thing to do in this situation.  
  
Complete and brutal honesty that was going to make him feel super awkward for a good six hours.  
  
“I do miss space. A lot. I feel kind of weird on Earth, but the reason I take Black out so much isn’t that I plan on leaving. It’s just because I plan on staying and I’m just trying to get used to it. I know you would never want to leave your family after everything and I would never ask you to so I’m just trying to adjust.” He sighed. Lance looked at him…. Maybe Pidge was right and he was whipped.  
  
By Lance McClain of all people. Tragic.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“But could you like…Maybe let me know once in a while?”  
  
“I…Didn’t really think about it,” Keith admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. Sure he had Shiro and occasionally Adam get on him about that sort of stuff, but aside from that? He never really had anyone care where he went or how long he was gone. “But I can. Will.” He rectified.  
  
“Thanks,” Lance smiled at him and the tension left his shoulders. Keith felt himself smiling a little back. “Sorry I freaked out. Although I will say I’m still a little offended by the A minus-”  
  
“Oh yeah!” Keith interrupted because that was another issue “I forget.”  
  
“I…What?”  
  
“I forget I’m allowed to kiss you now.”  
  
There was a pause.  
  
“I hate you sometimes.” Lance sighed “Really? That’s it? You forget?”  
  
“We knew each other for a while before dating! Sometimes I forget.” He defended and Lance groaned, looking up at the ceiling in exasperation “You could try initiating.” He suggested, raising an eyebrow.  
  
“I don’t want to overstep!”  
  
“How’s that working out for you?”  
  
“Keith!” Lance whined and slapped his hand off of him “You can be such a pain,” He muttered “Unbelievable. I’m trying my best here and…Hi.” He said, cutting himself off when Keith rolled his eyes and pulled him closer.  
  
Okay, so Pidge might be right that Keith was whipped, but it should be noted _Lance was too_. And that was important. To him. If anything, this conversation proved it. He leaned in and was immediately disappointed when someone sighed.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?”  
  
“Go away, Adam!”  
  
“Hey Lance,” Adam said, voice suddenly very, very suspiciously sweet. “Step away from the demon and I’ll get you a Sephora gift card.” He smiled brightly. Keith snorted. As if that would actually –  
  
“ _LANCE_!” He yelled when his boyfriend let go of him.  
  
“Do you know how expensive Sephora is?!”

* * *

 "Takashi."  
  
So this was how he died.  
  
...Again.  
  
Shiro had promised Adam that the next time he died it would be at the age of a hundred due to old age (...Or grief if Adam died first. According to his fiancée that was allowed). He definitely did not allow that Shiro could die at the hands of one very angry Hispanic lady who was currently pointing Windex at him threateningly.  
  
"Isabella!" He greeted, raising both hands in either surrender or greeting... He couldn't be sure, but the action felt right either way. Isabella narrowed her gaze at him before slowly lowering the bottle of window cleaner at him and placing a hand at either hip. "Do you, uh...Need anything?" He asked, giving what he hoped to a polite smile. Based on the raised eyebrow, he looked as terrified as he felt.  
  
"Sit," She said, nodding towards an empty chair "You and I need to talk."  
  
Dear God.  
  
"Of course," He amended and eased himself into the armchair as Isabella crossed her arms before lowering herself in a second chair across from him. They stared at one another for a moment before she sighed. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I don't like you."  
  
Wow. He hadn't noticed.  
  
"Yeah... Yeah, I got that." He sighed "And that's fine. Really. It is. But I'm going to marry Adam anyways." He said because if he waited for this woman's permission then. Well. It just wouldn't happen. Isabella rolled her eyes and pulled back her shoulders, possibly trying to make herself seem bigger...Which was laughable because she was literally half of Shiro's width and height.  
  
"I've accepted that," She told him and shook her head "And it is for that reason that I have a gift for you." She said and Shiro opened his mouth to protest. This gift was murder. It had to be. Before he could object, something small was shoved under his nose. He blinked. Isabella waited. "I'll take it back..." She began when there wasn't an immediate response. Shiro jolted back into reality.  
  
"This is... This is..." He said, slowly taking the item from her. "Is this evaluation form from the first flight simulation Adam and I did together?" He demanded, a little alarmed. Isabella scowled at the paper as if it personally offended her, but nodded. "How did you get this? Why did you keep it?"  
  
"Commander Iverson's comment in the corner." She said and Shiro let his finger trace down the form. Bolded up top were Adam and Shiro's full names, along with the red mark of FAILED underneath. Shiro winced. It had taken them...Awhile to work together as flight partners. Mainly because they disagreed in piloting methods.  
  
_If they looked at the simulation as much as they did each other then they would have passed with flying colors._  
  
Well. That too. Shiro smiled a little, continuing reading down the old comments.  
  
_Shirogane is thriving off of raw talent and a need to succeed. His motivation keeps him from allowing Frasier to display much of his skills. When Frasier is able to pilot, he is more focused on proving himself as Shirogane's equal than succeeding at the simple tasks the simulator presents._  
  
"Oh...Uh. Sorry I was simulator hog." Was his immediate response and Isabella sighed, muttering something under her breath in Spanish.  
  
"You were...Fifteen when you took that test." She nodded at the sheet "I hadn't spoken to my son in almost three months, but when I did that paper was the first thing he showed me. I had to hear about how you had insulted him when you first met, how you were actually quite sweet but sometimes disappeared and wouldn't talk about the strange bracelet on your wrist. Then I had to hear about how annoying you were and how funny and how...Everything." She sighed, shaking her head. "Three months and all he had to say was about you."  
  
Ha. He knew it. Adam totally had been crushing on him within the first month of interacting. Matt owed him twenty bucks.  
  
"I knew he would fall in love with you long before he did," Isabella continued "Now...A second gift." She said and handed him another paper. This time, Shiro looked down to find it was a photo in his hand. He half-expected it to be him and Adam, but that wasn't who was smiling back at him.  
  
"This is you?" He asked, looking at the young woman in the photo. She was probably Shiro's age with a huge smile (Isabella could smile?) and giving bunny ears to some man next to her that he hadn't seen before.  
  
 "Yes... Next to my first husband." She smiled a bit "I first married for love, you know. Then...Convenience." She shrugged and tapped the photo "That was the man who helped me start my first business. Well. He tried at least... He more or less cheered me on while I did the real work." She said and Shiro was a little amazed at how soft her voice went. "He died about two years after we got married." She said "He was rather stubborn about his dreams as well. It got him killed." She told him and Shiro suddenly narrowed his eyes.  
  
"Is this where you tell me you didn't like me because I was dying?" He asked, the context of it clicking in.  
  
"I don't like you because you chose your dreams over my son."  
  
Shiro wasn't sure how to react to that one. Anger immediately rose, defensiveness clawing at the edges as he opened his mouth to argue, but Isabella beat him to it.  
  
"I don't blame you. I would have done the same. I have done the same. So did my first husband. It is a natural, human thing to do - especially when you are running on borrowed time." She added "But I know my son. You were his first love...And you are also his last. After you there will be nobody else," She sighed and shook her head "It seemed cruel to me that what little time you had together you spent risking your life."  
  
"I can't always choose everyone else over me." Shiro answered her stiffly "Adam _knew_ that going into this."  
  
"The is the difference between you and my son,"  Isabella told him "Is back then Adam thought you could fight hard enough to beat your disease. And you accepted that you would not," Isabella hummed, leaning back into her chair "As I said before...I understand. But my loyalty remains with Adam. Not you."  
  
"If your loyalty was to Adam you would support him." Shiro shot back, unable to help himself "You Frasiers seem to think you know what's best for everyone else, but you don't."  
  
"Don't act like you don't do the same." Isabella scoffed "Adam may not have realized it, but I surely knew the real reason you went to space. You can say you were choosing yourself for once. You can say it was because of your dreams. Perhaps that isn't a lie... But you also left to Adam wouldn't have to watch you die." She told him and gestured vaguely around "Funny how that worked out, isn't it?" She asked and Shiro swallowed, unwilling to meet her eyes at that. He handed her back the picture.  
  
"No, no. You keep it." She told him and patted his knee "Take it as a...What do they say in English? An olive branch?" She frowned and shrugged "Just don't show it to Marcus or Adam. I don't want them to figure it out." She said and Shiro tilted his head in confusion. A small smirk settled on her lips. "Read the back." She said as an explanation and tilted her head "We should go get coffee at some point."  
  
"I...Sure? Do we like each other now?" Shiro asked, confused. Isabella shrugged.  
  
"I don't know. But you're apparently going to be my son-in-law so I figured that warranted coffee. It would please Adam."  
  
"I don't know if we're ready for coffee yet. Maybe we should go with lunch so we can throw food at each other if we get upset."  
  
"...This isn't...A bad idea." Isabella mused and nodded "I do have remarkable aim when it comes to throwing salad." She noted and Shiro resisted the urge to ask for an explanation on that  "Okay. Lunch for now." She agreed and gave him a tense nod. "Good luck." She said and just like that. Left. Shiro was a little confused on what just happened.  
  
Good luck? What did he need luck for? Shiro flipped the picture over, trying to digest the wild conversation he just had and shook his head.  
  
_Isabella and Adam._ Shiro paused. Very slowly he brought out his communicator, making sure Isabella was out of earshot.  
  
“…So.” Shiro said when Adam picked up “Are you aware you are named after your mom’s booty call?”  
  
For about ten seconds, Shiro wondered if Adam just hung up on him.  
  
“Hey…Takashi? The holder of my heart? My partner in crime? Sex companion? Peanut butter to my jelly? My one and only love?”  
  
“Uh…Yeah?”  
  
“Shut the fuck up.” Adam's voice told him and Shiro snorted, leaning back in the chair some more so he could hold the commnuicator closer to his ear. He let out a breathy laugh.  
  
“Sure thing, Adam 2.0.” He teased and heard a groan from the other end of the line.  
  
"I can't believe you just called me while I'm in actual space to tell me this. Why am I marrying you?”

"Last night you said it was for my ass."

"Oh yeah."

* * *

Keith was going to kill him.  
  
He knew bad things would come from Adam walking in on Keith about to stick his tongue in Lance’s mouth, but he didn’t realize it would be this horrifically annoying.  
  
“No,” Adam said, pinching the bridge of his nose “Nope. Knock that off. You lost hand holding privileges.” He said, pushing their hands apart. Keith bristled. Possibly because his bravery in initiating the hand holding just went unnoticed. “If anyone is getting their hand held… It is me,” Adam continued “I am stressed. My wedding is coming up. And I deserve it.” He added.  
  
Lance very slowly grabbed Adam’s hand.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“Wait, wait, wait.” Keith frowned, looking at their hands “ _You_ can hold his hand, but I can’t?”  
  
“Yes. Go, pilot.”  
  
“But we were bonding-”  
  
“My fist is going to bond with your face,” Adam told him and Keith scowled, crossing his arms over his chest before looking at Lance with a slight pout. The other boy offered an apologetic smile.  
  
“I am supposed to be his best man… I can’t really refuse holding his hand.” Lance told him with a shrug. Keith rolled his eyes. His life was a tragedy. A horrible, horrible tragedy. Adam smiled smugly. Well. Keith wasn’t going to let him totally win.  
  
“Fine. Whatever,” He shrugged and flicked his eyes at Lance. “I can just hold his hand later.”  
  
“No, sorry. I kind of booked him for the day.”  
  
“What – you _booked him_? What does that even mean?” Keith argued. Lance sighed.  
  
“As much as I am reveling in this attention, we do need to get back. I have to get my tux still.” He added and Adam shrugged, gesturing for Keith to carry on.  
  
“Ugh. You’re not even the one in love with him.” Keith muttered, throwing himself in the piloting seat. From behind him, there was a choking noise and Keith whipped around to make sure nobody had snuck up to attack them. Adam was staring with his mouth slightly agape, looking wildly between Lance and Keith as Lance put a hand over his chest.  
  
Why was – wait. What did he just say?  
  
Oh no. Oh no, no, _no_.  
  
“Take that back,” Adam said, “Take that back right now.”  
  
“You love me?” Lance repeated, sounding a bit faint as red tinted his face.  
  
“No!” Adam said loudly “No. No, he doesn’t. You’ve been dating for like two months. You got ten years before you love anyone. Stop it.” He turned to glower at Keith “ _Stop it_!”  
  
“Well – I…” Keith spluttered, feeling his face heat up. Fuck. He didn’t mean to say that. Adam was right in that they hadn’t been dating that long…That was a lot to spring on someone. Especially after their whole recent conversation. God. Lance was probably super freaked out.  
  
“I love you too!” Lance blurted out and then winced “…Sorry about that.”  
  
“Why are you doing this to me?!” Adam groaned, running a hand over his face, skewing his glasses slightly. Keith tried to process this wild turn of events. He hadn’t expected Lance to throw that into the ring. “Wait – did you just apologize to him? This like Takashi all over again, I cannot believe-”  
  
“Really?” Keith interrupted and he swore he heard Black laughing at him somewhere in his head.  
  
“No!” Adam yelled. They both ignored him.  
  
“I mean…Yeah. I think so. Probably.”  
  
“You are both enraging me,” Adam told them “I’m enraged.”  
  
“Huh,” Keith said and turned back in his seat “Cool.”  
  
“You – Okay. Really?” Adam stopped complaining to poke the back of his head “Cool? That’s your response? Oh my God. You’re _both_ as horrific as Takashi.” He sighed “Please just get us back to Earth so I can cry in my own atmosphere.”  
  
Keith would admit that he was a bit giddy as he lifted Black into the air.

* * *

“So,” Pidge said, shoving the map in the middle of the dining room table and gesturing for everyone who was standing around to come look “I’ve finished the seating chart. Finally. I’ll walk you through it real fast. Here are where coalition members sit. These are where celebrities will be seated, political leaders and Adam’s family will be here while Shiro’s-”  
  
“Why do Shiro’s family get a section?” Marcus asked, frowning at the map. “I didn’t think he had any.”  
  
Pidge stared at Adam’s father for a moment. It was hard to tell exactly what she was thinking since her glasses were glaring in the light, but she didn’t need to say much since Krolia cleared her throat.  
  
“I’m sitting there.” She informed him, voice cool and tense. Shiro blinked at her, having been shuffling awkwardly to the side when the question was asked.  
  
“Krolia, I could never ask you-” He started, but was cut off by the alien shaking her head.  
  
"Shiro...You were my son's family for the longest time. His only family. I hope to return the favor and be a family to you as well...If you'll have me." She said, bowing her head slightly and Shiro blinked, mouth opening and closing for a second before nodding. "Are you going to cry?" Krolia asked, sounding a little unimpressed "Here," She said and pulled him into a hug.  
  
“I’m sitting there too.” Colleen announced, “Along with Matt and Sam.” She added and smiled warmly at Shiro “If it wasn’t for you, none of us would have a family anyways.” She told him, voice softening.  
  
“My parents said they are too!” Hunk informed the group, looking up from his phone. Hunk’s family had yet to arrive, but Pidge knew they would be coming soon. From the one conversation she had with Hunk’s mother, it was fair to say they would bring more life to the party “My father also told me to tell Mr. Frasier to shut up or he is going to boil his teeth.”  
  
“He’s going to _what_ -?”  
  
“Wait…My moms said he’s not allowed to do anymore so maybe not.”  
  
“ _Anymore_?! Son, please tell me you’re joking. Wait why did you make mom plural-”  
  
“I will sit in the middle of the aisle,” Camilla informed them gravely “To support both pretty men.”  
  
“Ms. Camilla you can’t be in the middle-” Pidge started, but was cut-off by Allura placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
“Coran and I will also join you. We are family after all.” She shrugged and there was a long sigh.  
  
“Listen,” Pidge sighed “This is all so sweet, but now I’m going to have to redo the seating chart so-”  
  
“ _Katie_!” Colleen admonished.  
  
“Yeah. Fine. Whatever. We all love Shiro.” She muttered and glanced over to where her friend was frozen – as if he had truly not expected this turn of events. It hurt her heart a little as he looked completely at loss at what to do. Krolia patted his arm and Pidge turned to make eye contact with Hunk before looking at Marcus. The green dye and pink sharpie still hadn’t completely come out… but maybe their next gift to Adam’s father was ready.  
  
“And don’t worry,” Krolia said, “I will also complete some of the other traditions a family normally completes at these events.” She said and Shiro turned bright red.  
  
“Oh, you really don’t have to trouble yourself-”  
  
“Of course I do,” Krolia waved him away “Who else is going to fight for your honor?”  
  
“Sure, but – wait. Fight for my honor?” Shiro started as Krolia walked away to keep doing…Well, Pidge wasn’t entirely sure what part of the wedding she was planning, but Krolia sure was into it. “Is that a Galran figure of speech? Krolia?” Shiro called after her.

* * *

"Hey, George can I have- Oh."  
  
"Hi, Elena." George greeted her, sitting in the middle of the empty shop "We're out of flowers."  
  
"I...See that. Um. Who bought them all?"  
  
"Some aliens stole them. For the wedding."  
  
"Shiro and Adam's wedding?" Elena asked and George rose an eyebrow at her "Right. Stupid question." She sighed and crossed her arms "Well...I was going to head over to their apartment soon with some congratulation flowers, but I guess that's out of the question." She said, clicking her tongue. George snorted.  
  
"Maybe try some balloons?" He suggested, rubbing his eyes. "I - oh no." The boy cut himself off and Elena turned to see a rather ship land next to the store "They already took everything!" George whined, "What do they want now?" He scowled and Elena peered over her shoulder to see a redheaded man fall out of the ship and sprint towards them.  
  
"Everyone!" He breathed out to the pair of them "I need your help! Get on the ship."  
  
"No way-"  
  
"Get on the ship!"  
  
" _Come on_!" George yelled "Go find my brother - he wants to get abducted by aliens! I just want to-"  
  
"Get. On. The. Ship."  
  
Elena looked at her watch. She had a class to teach in an hour and really didn't have time to get kidnapped by aliens. Still, the frazzled looking man in front of her didn't seem to be ready to accept 'no' as a viable answer. She looked warily over at George, who had tears in his eyes. She couldn't just leave him...God, she had promised Veronica and Acxa she wouldn't get caught up in the crazy drama Voltron seemed to entail. Nadia might support it though...  
  
"You know what? Fine!" George huffed "As long as you promise not to bring me back."  
  
"I - _George_!" Elena objected and followed him out the door as the alien clapped his hands in approval "Get back here! You can't just shoot yourself into space because life is too frustrating."  
  
"I can. I'm doing it." George told her as she tried to pull him away. She scowled, walking onto the ship to see if filled with hundreds of flowers, some of which were stuffed in every crevice of the ship. She groaned. Right. Well if she couldn't get George off of the ship then she might as well go find someone who would be able to fly into space and bring him back.  
  
"Buckle up!" The man told them when Elena took a step towards the exit. With a sharp buzzing sound the doors slid closed.  
  
Fuck.

* * *

“Thanks for coming with us Allura!” Lance said as he stepped opened the door to the tux shop “I’m about to try on like…A thousand suits so I need some opinions.” He said, winking at her. Keith sighed.  
  
“A thousand?” He repeated weakly, shoulders slumping a bit at the proclamation.  
  
“So are you and Adam,” Lance assured him and there was a slight grumble from the other two men at that. Allura blinked.  
  
“You’re going to wear this attire as well?” She asked, mouth popping open a bit in surprise “I wasn’t aware of that!” She told them “How exciting!” She beamed, clasping her hands together. The three stared at her.  
  
“I – what? Do Altean men not wear tuxes?” Lance asked, baffled. Allura shrugged.  
  
“Of course they…can.” She shrugged “We don’t call them tuxes – we call the uols and they are generally reserved for royalty.” She told them “I suppose perhaps Earth may bestow the same honor on its heroes?” She mused and Keith shrugged.  
  
“I don’t think I deserve that honor.” He said flatly and Adam hit his arm.  
  
“Huh.” Lance said “No – basically everyone wears them. Well. Mainly men, but let me tell you _women_ in tuxes are – uh. Nevermind.” He said when Keith rose an eyebrow at him “Does this mean you’re getting a tux?”  
  
“Should I not?”  
  
“Oh no. You definitely, definitely should!” Lance said and his eyes lit up “Oh – Allura you know what would be cool? We can straighten your hair too! That way you are James Bond sleek! And some winged eyeliner? Dude. You would look awesome. I have a Sephora gift card now so-”  
  
“You actually gave him the gift card?” Keith muttered to Adam as Lance walked them all inside, still rattling on Allura’s outfit. Adam scoffed and crossed his arms.  
  
“I’m not a liar.”  
  
“How do you sleep at night?”  
  
“Next to Takashi.”  
  
“Ugh,” Keith grumbled and looked at the rows of tuxes in front of them “Isn’t Hunk supposed to be coming too?” He asked, probably realizing he was a bit outnumbered. Adam smirked.  
  
“Picking up his family.” He answered. Keith wrinkled his nose and picked up one of the tuxes at random. Adam snorted. “I don’t think that’s your size.” He said and Keith picked out another one “Probably not that one either.” He said and Keith grabbed a different one “Nope.”  
  
“This is too hard. I give up.”  
  
“You just need to read the sizes.” Adam began and was interrupted by Lance popping up to shove six different tuxes into Keith’s arms.  
  
“Go try those on!” He instructed, ignoring the horror in his boyfriend’s face. “Adam, the lady is waiting to size you over there.” He added, gesturing towards where a woman was getting pins and needles ready. Adam nodded, looking a bit daunted, but marched over in her direction nevertheless.  
  
“Are some of these yours?” Keith tried desperately.  
  
“No.”  
  
“But…They all kind of look the same.”  
  
“Not true. Different styles, various shades of red, different types of cloth-”  
  
“ _Six hundred dollars_?” Keith demanded, reading one of the tags “Absolutely not.”  
  
“Chill! We’re just renting them. It’ll only be like…Three hundred. And before you say anything I feel the need to remind you that the Garrison gave each of us a pretty generous stipend for saving the world. Don’t act like you can’t afford it.” Lance told him, crossing his arms.  
  
“And yet you betrayed me for a Sephora gift card.”  
  
“ _Get dressed_.”

* * *

Hunk would admit he was scared of many things in life... But being a paladin had helped him learn how to handle stressful situations and overcome fear that might normally control him. He tried to keep this in mind while picking up his family from the airport.  
  
Theoretically, he could have just flown Yellow over and plopped everyone inside, but his dad insisted they could still do things 'the old fashioned way' and ride in a normal plane. Who was Hunk to argue? He had other things to worry about. For example...What might happened when Lance's niece and nephew reconciled with Hunk's niece and nephew.  
  
He almost would rather face down Zarkon again.  
  
Don't get him wrong - Hunk adored Nadia and Sylvio. He also loved Talia and Noah. Together though? They had a better chance of ruling the universe than Haggar ever did.  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Hana!" Sylvio greeted, waving wildly as Hunk's family walked through the gate of the airport.  
  
"Look at all of you!" Hunk's mom said brightly when she saw them. "Sylvio - you've gotten so big!" She smiled warmly and Nadia reared her head back in affront.  
  
"I grew too!"  
  
"No, you didn't!" Sylvio told her snidely. Before the girl could respond there was a scream of excitement and Hunk turned to see his niece and nephew sprinting towards them, almost knocking down several patrons as they rushed to meet Sylvio and Nadia. "Hi!"  
  
"YOU'RE HERE!" Talia yelled, giggling as she hugged them "Mama said you might be with Lance - hi Uncle Hunk!" She added breathlessly, looking up at him with big eyes. Noah trotted over, wrapping himself like a sloth around Hunk's leg as a greeting before grinning wildly at the McClain kids. "Guys look! Nadia and Sylvio are here!"  
  
"I feel underappreciated." Hunk commented as his parents all crooned over the children. Sylvio and Nadia basked in the attention as Hunk's dad heaved them both up. "Hello, family. It's me. Your child."  
  
"Oh my goodness, Hunk." His mom rolled her eyes and kissed his cheek "You're almost as salty as Kiara." She said, gesturing to where his other mother had taken Nadia and Sylvio from Hunk's father and kissing them both on the head.  
  
"I heard that!"  
  
"Good. I've been saying it for years." Came the response and Kiara put a hand over her heart in fake offense before walking over to hug Hunk as well.  
  
"Hey baby," She greeted "Is Sophia here too? I've been meaning to talk to her about those Frasiers." She said, peering around her son to see if he was hiding Lance's mom anywhere "And I _know_ Camilla has a thing or two to say."  
  
"I can't believe you came to this wedding to gossip with the McClains about the groom's family." Hunk snorted and his dad rose a hand.  
  
"I came to fight this Marcus character." He offered and turned "YOU FOUR STOP CLIMBING ON THAT STATUE!" He added and there was a loud thunk as Talia fell off the statue in question "Oh my God... I've killed my grandchild."  
  
"That's what she gets for being stupid."  
  
"Kiara!"  
  
"Hana, I love you so much... But sometimes our grandchildren are morons." Kiara shrugged and crossed her arms "And that's okay. We love them anyway. They probably get it from their grandfather anyways." She added, eyes flicking to where Hunk's dad was nudging Talia with his toe as she giggled on the ground. Nadia was trying to check for a pulse.  
  
"Hey, mom..." Hunk said with a sudden realization hitting him "Have you met Adam yet?" He asked and Kiara rose an eyebrow before shaking her head. There was a long pause.  
  
Maybe Hunk should be less concerned about Nadia, Sylvio, Talia, and Noah... Kiara and Adam actually sounded more dangerous.

* * *

“Oh! Don’t you look handsome?”  
  
Lance beamed at the woman exiting the room where she had been previously fitting Adam’s tux, clasping her hands together at Lance’s outfit. He did look pretty stellar.  
  
“Thanks!” He told her brightly and turned to Allura “Dark blue or baby blue?” He asked her as she tilted her head, looking at him with deep consideration.  
  
“Somewhere in the middle?” She suggested. Lance hummed in agreement.  
  
“You two are cute.” The woman sighed, putting her pins and needles away “I remember when I was young and in love.”  
  
Yikes.  
  
“Oh, uh. We aren’t together.” Lance told her. Allura gave a nod of agreement – although she wasn’t helping matters by adjusting the collar of his tux critically, commenting something about the material being ‘weak human cloth’.  
  
“Not yet maybe,” She winked.  
  
“I’m seeing someone.” He said and as if on cue, Keith stumbled out with his suit on wrong and bowtie around his wrist. "Maybe I should reconsider though." He sighed.  
  
“I hate this.” Keith announced. Lance looked him over.  
  
“I love this.”  
  
“I look like a movie usher!” Keith whined and Lance rolled his eyes, turning to fix the disaster he had somehow made of the suit. The woman’s eyes fell onto them and Lance could feel something click in her head.  
  
“Oh!” She gasped and Lance almost smirked. Yeah. Not only was he seen with a hot alien girl but he was dating a hot alien boy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were dating this young lady.”  
  
Wait... What?  
  
Lance frowned, turning to confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, the lady in question was gesturing between Allura and Keith as if they had interacted. The pair looked at each other in surprise.  
  
“Um…No.” Keith said and jutted a finger at Lance (almost hitting him in the face as he did so) “I’m dating him.”  
  
“I’m just here to get a uol – er, tux.” Allura added, “Do you have any more pink ones?”  
  
The woman stared.  
  
“Who… Who is dating who?” She asked and Lance tensed a little at the question. Perhaps Keith noticed his nervousness because he scowled at the lady.  
  
“I’m gay,” Keith announced.  
  
“I’m Altean.” Allura added and pointed at Lance “He’s Cuban… Which is different than an Earthling somehow. It is…A subset of Earthlings.” She said slowly and Keith stared at her. “What? Did I get that wrong?” She asked, distressed.  
  
“Nah. You’re right, Allura.” Lance assured her, smiling a bit “You want to know something else about Earth culture?” He asked, completely ignoring the woman now. Keith sighed, looking bitterly at Lance’s hands as they fixed his bowtie. “Keith is also _Texan_.” He added, smirking a little “Which means he lives in a state within a country.”  
  
“I don’t understand.”  
  
“A subset within a subset.”  
  
“Why… Why have humans done this?” Allura pursed her lips, crossing her arms “What does being Texan mean?”  
  
“It means that Shiro has informed me that he deadass called him _old timer_ unironically when he was a kid.” Lance chuckled and Keith gasped, possibly realizing he had been betrayed. Again. “Can you call me old timer too, Keith?” Lance asked sweetly and immediately dodged the hit Keith aimed at him.  
  
“What’s with all the violence?” Adam interrupted them, walking out. Allura hummed, holding up two pink tuxes thoughtfully before tilting her head critically at one of them and nodding to herself in approval.  
  
“The lady thought Lance and I were dating…Then that Keith and I were dating. Then we identified our subsets of Earthling heritage.” She told him and picked up a bowtie “Lance, do you think my bowtie should be white or black?” She asked and Lance trotted from Keith’s side to discuss the issue with her.  
  
“So…” Adam nodded “You and Allura, huh?” He asked Keith, raising an eyebrow. “You really do make an adorable, heterosexual pair. I can see you getting a cute pair of matching his and hers towels.”  
  
“I have a giant metal space lion that will eat you.”  
  
“I have a video on my phone of Shiro giving you the sex talk. Who is really in peril here?”

* * *

"Lance is going to lose his mind." Pidge sighed as she draped herself one of the chairs in Adam's living room. Ryan glanced up from her, having been in the middle of setting up his tripod for their most recent attempt of getting Adam's father to lose his mind before the wedding.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"The stripper of Adam's bachelor party just called and said he had to cancel. Broke his ankle while trying to pole dance on street sign." Pidge said, posing dramatically when Ryan pointed the camera at her "I guess it could happen to anyone."  
  
"Of course...Any ideas on what to do?"  
  
"Nope. I'm not planning the bachelor party." Pidge snorted and the door slammed open loudly. Pidge jumped, stumbling for her bayard as the entire apartment complex shook at the entrance. "Jeez - hi, Ms. Camilla." She sighed.  
  
"There is no stripper?" She demanded.  
  
"I...How on Earth did you even hear-?"  
  
"That cannot be! Alejandro worked too hard on this party for there to be no stripper!"  
  
"What is happening?"  
  
"I shall-"  
  
"NO!" Pidge screeched, covering her ears "Please don't say you're going to be the stripper! Please don't! I'm too young! Ms. Camilla _I'm begging you_ -" She cried and stopped when a pair of unamused eyes fell on her.  
  
"Why would I be a stripper at a gay man's bachelor party?" She scoffed, folding her arms over her chest "I do not wish to make anyone fall in love with me the day before their marriage anyhow." She clicked her tongue and Pidge looked over at Kinkade in pure horror "No. I shall find a stripper. The most _magnificent_ stripper of them all." She added and for a second she narrowed her eyes at Kinkade.  
  
"No."  
  
"Very well then."

* * *

"I’m just saying,” Hunk said, “I find it suspicious that nobody has any proof of this.”  
  
“EXACTLY!” Keith yelled, gesturing wildly at the paladin. Pidge hit her head on the floor in front of her. “You see? I’m not the only one!”  
  
“We. Have. Been. To. The. Moon.” Pidge gritted out “And you want to say there was a fake moon landing?!”  
  
“Just because we went to the moon doesn’t mean they did,” Keith argued as Pidge tugged at her hair. “Besides, we’ve been to plenty of other planets and-”  
  
A loud bang sounded from outside followed by running footsteps. The paladins glanced over at the door before it was slammed open and Shiro looked down at the wildly.  
  
“Who wants to make ten bucks?” He asked, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it as if hoping to barricade himself inside. Nobody answered. “Fifteen?” He offered and Keith tilted his head.  
  
“What for?”  
  
“I can’t answer many questions,” Shiro said and Keith shook his head.  
  
“No way. I’m already having to do a speech for you. I’m not doing you any more favors – no matter how much you pay me.” Keith told him and went back to lying on Lance. From outside there was the sound of talking suddenly cut off and silence.  
  
“What the fuck?” Adam’s voice said and Lance shook his head. The group turned back to Shiro.  
  
“No. No way.” He said, pointing at the door “If Adam’s angry out there then I am not getting involved.” He said, “I am not a masochist, thanks.”  
  
“Oh. My. God.” Adam’s voice said, getting steadily louder “Are you _kidding_ me?!”  
  
“Someone just take the bullet for me. I kept you alive out in space for five years. Just keep me alive for _one day_!” He begged and Lance opened his mouth, perhaps to bring up the obvious, but Keith put a hand over his mouth to silence the comment.  
  
“I’ll do it.” Hunk offered and Pidge snorted.  
  
“Nobody would believe you did something wrong.”  
  
“I’m a _mob boss_ , Pidge.”  
  
“Yeah. Who makes their gang members wear friendship bracelets,” She pointed out and Lance rose a hand in confusion a that.  
  
“Speaking of which – why do my niece and nephew have one?”  
  
“Don’t worry about it,” Hunk told him and Shiro winced at the scream of anger that practically shook the house. He looked at Pidge with wide, sad eyes. The girl sat up, considering the situation.  
  
“Please?” Shiro asked weakly “I’m afraid.” He added. It would have been funny if the fear in his eyes weren’t so real.  
  
“Forget the money. If I do this then I get to mess with your robot arm.” She said and Shiro looked at her, betrayed for a moment.  
  
“WHO THE FUCK DID THIS?!” Adam’s voice yelled and Shiro looked back at her.  
  
“Done.” He said and opened the door “You’re my favorite, Pidge.”  
  
“Godspeed!” Lance called as she got up to leave the room and the group each gave her a wave goodbye before she disappeared around the corner. Silence enveloped them.  
  
“What did you do?” Hunk finally asked.  
  
“I spilled coffee on his tux.” Shiro told them quietly “I don’t know what happened! My hand just kind of…malfunctioned.” He said, scowling at his robotic prosthetic with a glare “I’m not great at controlling it yet and it just sort of hit the cup across the room and yeah….” He sighed, face dropping a bit.  
  
“Rest in peace, Pidge.” Keith muttered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That one scene where Shiro bribes the paladins to take the fall from him comes from Malcolm in the middle...Thank you [ofasphyxia](http://ofasphyxia.tumblr.com/) for telling me about it! (P.S. did you see I finally learned how to link? Be proud of me)
> 
> Also... Allura in a tux with a flowercrown. Dude. Idk for sure what it would look like but I'm sure I would die over it.
> 
> Additionally...  
> Me: Hunk had 2 moms  
> Canon: Here is his mom and dad  
> Me: ....Hunk has 2 moms AND a dad. 
> 
> I had a different poly relationship planned when I first started this series tbh. It mainly stemmed from me being unable to decide who I shipped one character with and then I was like FUCK it they can all date. I kind of hinted at it in this chapter, but I might make it more explicit at the wedding. Who knows? Not me lol. I feel like I'm overwhelming you all with OCs at this point so I'm going to try and focus on solely the paladins next chapter. Well. And some more established peeps like Camilla maybe.
> 
> LASTLY, I have a tumblr. You can click [here](https://caffeinatedflumadiddle.tumblr.com/) to check it out. It has some cool stuff sometimes. 
> 
> That's all! Thanks for dropping by


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello. I'm alive.
> 
> Warning: underage drinking and uh. I'm sure there's other stuff too. It's a bachelor's party...but Lance tries to be responsible.

“I need advice.”

Keith looked over at Romelle, blade in hand before nodding very slowly.

“So you’ve finally been driven to want to bash Adam’s head in as well?” He asked and slung his free arm over the back of the couch and patted the seat next to him “You’ve come to the right place.”

“What? No!” Romelle scowled and grabbed the blade out of his hand and threw it on the coffee table behind her. Keith scowled at the action, but didn’t comment, content to just watch the Altean nervously bounce on the balls of her feet as she seemed to mull over her response “It just… You and Lance, huh? How, um. How did you do that?” She started and Keith rose an eyebrow.

“Me and Lance?” He repeated and a small smirk settled at his lips “Mel… Do you like someone?”

“No!” Romelle gasped and reared back “I was just – you can’t – no!” She yelled and pointed at him “You’re a liar Keith Kogane!” she growled “You know what? I think maybe _you_ like someone!”

“I do. His name is Lance.” Keith told her and raised his hands in surrender “I was just asking, no need to freak out. But as for Lance? No idea. I guess I just lucked out.” He mused and Romelle groaned, collapsing next to the paladin and poking his cheek with a scowl. He pulled away from her, glaring. “Don’t do that.”

“You’re _useless_ ,” Romelle told him.

“Useless in…Helping you with your not-crush?” Keith clarified and tilted his head towards her. Romelle’s face went bright red for a second before she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Sometimes you make me very angry.”

“Join the club,” He snorted and brightened when Krolia walked through the door. “Hey, mom!” He called “Romelle wants to know how to deal with not having a crush. Any advice?” He asked and Romelle hit him with a pillow.

“Is this about Allura?” Krolia sighed and Keith’s mouth fell open as he made a choking noise.

“ _Allura_?!” He repeated and turned to Romelle “Allura? Really, Mel? Why, _Allura_?”

“What’s wrong with Allura?!” Romelle countered defensively before adding “Who I _definitely_ do not have a crush on.”

“Nothing,” Keith said quickly “Allura is cool…I think _everyone_ has had a crush on her at some point anyway.” He mused and Romelle hummed.

“Even you?”

“No.” Keith rolled his eyes “I don’t think she’s into girls though…Based on what Lance told me about Lotor’s stay.” He mused and Romelle shifted a bit at that. Keith’s eyes flicked her over before sighing “Besides, you’re out of her league.”

“She’s a princess.”

“So? You escaped from Lotor’s colony. That’s badass.”

“I can’t do any magic stuff though.”

“And yet you still escaped. Even more badass.”

“She’s really pretty when she does magic stuff…”

“Wow,” Keith sighed and flicked her nose. Romelle slapped his hand away, sticking her tongue out “You’re actually _pining_.” He told her.

“Am not!”

“Don’t act like that Keith,” Krolia told him from where she was watching from an armchair “Shiro said you spent years pining after your boyfriend…and you didn’t _realize_ you were pining.”

“ _Aw_!” Romelle cooed, immediately taking advantage of the situation. “Poor Keith… he just wanted Lance’s attention and the mean boy wouldn’t even remember the bonding moment.”

“Who told you about that?!” Keith demanded, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“What bonding moment?” Krolia asked and Romelle’s smile turned feral as she glanced over at Keith “Nevermind…” She muttered when Keith tackled the Altean. “Sometimes it feels like we never left that space whale.” She said, rubbing her temples as Romelle started yelling how it wasn’t fair that Keith fought back because he was a well-trained paladin and she couldn’t even hold a butter knife correctly.

“I _offered_ to teach you!” Keith objected, but released her from his death grip “You said no.”

“Because you’re a _mean teacher_.”

“Then ask Krolia.”

“She’s a mean teacher!”

“Then ask Allura. She can fight well.” Keith smirked and Romelle glared at him “I bet I can mention to her you want to learn how to fight… Maybe she’ll even show you some of her magic stuff so you can see how _pretty_ she is.”

“Shut up. I’ve seen you blush after Lance fell into a puddle.”

* * *

“I feel like we’ve lost control here,” Adam sighed, looking at Takashi before pinching the bridge of his nose “Do all of you really need to walk Takashi down the aisle? It’s a wedding, not a security escort.”

“Yes,” Pidge nodded “Keith, Lance, Hunk, Allura and I walk him down the aisle, but not Coran. Coran is distributing the flowers, I guess.” She sighed. Adam looked at Shiro who simply shrugged in return.

“I think it’s sweet," He told him and then frowned at Pidge's laptop before turning to the group "Where is Coran anyways?”

“No idea,” Lance hummed “And don’t _worry,_ Adam. We’re not going to drag Shiro away from the altar…I already told Keith no.” He said, “Although, I _would_ say I could be persuaded if-”

“Do _not_ be nasty.” Pidge warned him, pointing a finger in his face “I will end your bloodline.”

“I have so many siblings that I don’t think that’s possible. Which reminds me – has anyone seen Axca lately? I’ve been meaning to talk to her…” He said and there were shrugs (with Hunk asking with his siblings reminded him of Axca) before Pidge went back into her rant and who was going where in the wedding.

“Uh…I should probably mention that my dad wants to be on the altar with me.” Adam added, wincing a bit. Pidge froze. “I think he just wants some attention so it shouldn’t hurt, right?” He added. Hunk hummed.

“No. Definitely not.” He said and patted Pidge’s shoulder. Adam crossed his arms.

“Out of curiosity…You guys wouldn’t happen to know anything about what happened to all his clothes the other day. Would you?” He asked and Pidge stared at him, blinking owlishly.

“Are you referring to how his clothes magically disappeared in the middle of the night and were replaced with various hot dog costumes ranging in a variety of colors that happen to cost only $1.99 apiece at your local discount store? Because no. We know nothing about that.” She said and before Adam could respond, went back to her laptop “Alright…. I think…it’s done.” She nodded “We just have the bachelor parties tonight and everything should be ready for tomorrow.”

“Oh my God,” Shiro said, looking at all the writing and computers sprawled out everywhere. “We’re getting married.”

“No, take backs!” Adam told him “Absolutely none. Remember that a _thousand_ people are now watching and will judge you if you get cold feet.”

“Adam, I am going to personally kick your ass-” Pidge started, but Lance subtly got between them, loudly announcing that Adam was _not_ to be injured before his bachelor party tonight and Pidge rolled her eyes before collapsing back on the sofa with a glare. Adam stuck his tongue out at her. Hunk sighed.

"We need to go set up for tonight...Come on." He said, tugging at Pidge's arm "Lance, do you know where Keith is?"

"With Romelle, I think. I heard shouting." He answered and turned to where Allura had been staring at Lance's notebook in horror "Hey, come help me grab the other aliens." He told her lightly as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"What on Altea is _this_ and why are so many going to be at Adam's party?" She whispered, looking in horror at something Lance had taped on the notebook. Lance tilted his head over her shoulder so he could glance and then wrinkled his forehead.

"Uh - what do you mean...? Wait." He gaped, eyes widening " _Wait_. What the Hell do Alteans have in their pants?" He gasped and Allura smacked him, hissing at him in Altean. Lance seemed undeterred by the reaction, now full of questions as Allura threw the notebook back at him.

"That is in _your_ pants?" She demanded, "For all humans?"

"Well, not all - holy shit. I've stumbled on such a discovery. Come with me." Lance said as he began to wander off towards where Pidge and Hunk left "So listen. Listen. I have a boyfriend and I'm not flirting with you or trying to be disrespectful, but what is _happening_ down there?" He asked, "Not that it matters or anything, but I didn't think that Altean biology was different in _that_ way!"

"You're way too excited about this Lance."

"....What about Galra? Hey...I wonder if Keith's-"

I'm going to stop you right there," Adam told him and pushed him further out the door "Remind me to ask Pidge to move you and Keith on _opposite_ sides of the wedding." He muttered, ignoring Lance's pout as Adam slammed the door in his face. He looked at the ceiling before breathing out slowly, trying to find his inner zen before turning to see Shiro still sitting at the table.

“Are they gone?” He asked, peering in the direction the paladins had just exited through. Adam rose an eyebrow but nodded.

“What wildly inappropriate comment have you been waiting to tell me?” He asked, a small smirk crawling on his face. When his fiancée said nothing it disappeared, morphing into concern. “Takashi?”

“Are you sure you still want to get married?” Came the tentative response. It was soft and quiet. Adam stared “I just mean… When you first proposed I had black hair, two arms, and a lack of scars.” He wrinkled his nose. “A lot has changed.”

“You were also dying when I proposed to you.” Adam pointed out “That didn’t stop me… Why would any of that?” He asked and grabbed his hand “Besides, it’s not like you still aren’t the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” He added and Shiro snorted, rolling his eyes.

“I guess I just miss the days where I was the hot one.”

_Betrayal._

“You shallow bitch, I have always been the fucking hot one what are you implying-”

* * *

 Sometimes...Lance hated his life.

“ALRIGHT!” He yelled into his megaphone “EVERYONE FILE IN NEATLY! ONE AT A TIME. LET’S GO, GO, GO. INTO THE BUILDING AND MAKE SURE YOU ARE WEARING THE BRACELET I GAVE YOU OR YOU WILL _NOT_ BE LET IN!” He shouted at the crowd in front of him. There was an excited murmur and everyone pushed through the doors and Lance sighed, rubbing his temples. He totally had this under control. Totally.

He had rented out an entire building for the party because the Garrison gave him an obnoxious amount of money and he was trying to spend it all before his next birthday just to see if he could. Also, Adam deserved the best things in life and damn it... Lance was going to make his last night as an unmarried man _epic_.

The thing was. Like. There were complications and barriers Lance had to overcome. He had to be a little _responsible_ about this which kind of sucked.

"OKAY SHUT UP NOW!" He shouted and climbed up on the bar stool next to him so he could peer over the crowd. The building itself was already decorated (with an assortment of rainbow dicks that Lance learned Alteans did  _not_ possess) and filled with lights. "THANKS!" He called out "So, I'm going to give you all important information and then Adam should be here and we can freak the Hell out. FIRST OF ALL, There are three levels in this building. Level one is where the awesome stuff will be happening. Partying, dancing, etc... There will be lots of bright lights and loud music. I know some of you can get overwhelmed by that sort of thing, so on the THIRD FLOOR, there is a chill area that is quiet and has some tea and blankets and shit. Feel free to take a nap or watch some movies or something."

"FUCK YEAH!" Pidge shouted "Oh...Bye Ina." She added when Leifsdottir immediately started making her way up to the third floor without another word.

"I love you, Gremlin!" Lance shouted back "Okay, the second floor...Uh. Well. I kind of made the second floor an area for if anybody starts acting like a dick. I have some keys and I'm just going to lock you in there with some water and stuff until you stop acting like a dick...So don't be a dick." He shrugged "LASTLY, I gave each of you a bracelet. It has a certain color on it. You're welcome!" He said and everyone looked down at their wrist "Our bartender, Nathan - oh, uh. Say hi Nathan."

"Hi!" Nathan smiled from behind the bar, positioned diagonally from where the paladin was standing "You look great by the way." He added to Lance.

"I have a boyfriend, Nathan. Anyways! Nathan has a list of the colors and depending on the color of your bracelet is the cap on how many drinks you can have. I know a lot of us are under twenty-one...I don't care. American laws suck. _But_ , we don't want to die either so Hunk did some math for me and helped calculate your weight and height and all those things to figure out how much you should drink."

"BOO!" Pidge yelled "DICTATORSHIP! WHAT ARE YOU? ZARKON?"

"Watch it. I can make sure you only get apple juice!" Lance shouted and Pidge flicked him off but stayed quiet. A disgruntled murmur went over the crowd, but eventually, they seemed to accept the terms "LASTLY, if anyone sees my grandma...Please tell me. She's bringing the stripper and I'm slightly afraid." He sighed "Also, Draven and Darren are our DJs so go to them to request songs. That's all! Bye!" He said and hopped down from the stool.

He had this under control.

"Guys! Adam is here!"

Maybe.

* * *

"This is nice," Shiro said as soft piano music played. He picked up some crackers and cheese before reaching for some wine, offering some to Keith. "Want some? You're twenty-one now."

"You act like I didn't drink an entire bottle of tequila that one time." Keith commented, snagging some crackers from Shiro's plate.

"I told you not to."

"No. You said 'Keith, bet you can't handle tequila' and then I drank the tequila and you cried."

"You were so small. I thought you were going to die." Shiro grumbled, "I wasn't _serious_ about you drinking it." He said and Keith shrugged before flipping a page in the magazine he was looking at "How long are we staying at this place anyways?" He asked, looking around the spa curiously. Keith shrugged.

"I rented it for the evening."

"Like the whole thing?"

"Yeah," Keith answered and yawned "I figured you would take full advantage of the place since you've had a stressful couple...Well. Life." He rectified with a snort. Shiro opened his mouth, perhaps to argue, but then nodded instead.

"Hey...Want to put some of those cucumber things on our faces? I don't know what they do, but people in the movies always have them." He mused, looking over at where the facial part of the spa was. Keith considered. He wished Lance could have come instead of attending Adam's stuff. He would know more about facials and things than Keith. Still, he supposed they didn't need to hear an hour rant of _why_ the cucumbers were important.

"Sure... You think if we put other stuff on our faces it would do anything? Like what if we put carrots on instead?"

"Let's do it."

* * *

"GET REKT BITCH! YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT _ME_ AT BEER PONG?!"

"Pidge please. That isn't even beer...It's soda."

"YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT _ME_ AT SODA PONG?!"

"Kinkade do something."

* * *

"So the carrots were a bust...But they still taste good."

"Did you just eat a cucumber off of my face?"

"...Maybe."

"Gross, Shiro."

* * *

"TWERK! TWERK! TWERK! TWERK! TWERK!"

" _Veronica!"_ Lance screamed " _NO!"_

"Veronica, _yes_!" Nadia yelled, "You're doing amazing, sweetie!"

"We're supposed to be looking for Elena!" Axca complained as she crossed her arms over her chest "I - Veronica _get down from the pole_!"

"Is your sister the stripper?" Adam asked, raising an eyebrow. Lance pinched his nose.

"God, I hope not."

* * *

"I'm naming that one Jerry."

"You already named the other one Jerry." Keith pointed out and looked at the fish swimming around Shiro's feet "How are you putting your feet in there?" He asked, wrinkling his nose "It feels _weird_ to just have them... Eating you."

"They aren't eating you."

"Yes, they are." Keith insisted, eyes looking at the tank suspiciously. He dipped a finger in and immediately some swam towards him before he yanked it out, holding the hand close to his chest "I don't like it."

"You were actually eaten by a giant space worm, but a fish pedicure is where you draw the line?"

"We all have to draw a line somewhere..." Keith muttered and dripped a toe in as the piano music switch to soft flute and lights dimmed a bit into a light blue "Oh my _God,_ it is going to kill me."

* * *

"BRING FORTH THE COW!"

"THE COW!" The crowd chanted, punching the air. The building was practically vibrating with music and Lance had given up having any control over the situation. Adam was... Well. At least he was having the time of his life as he led the chant for the cow and...yep. There was Kaltenecker. Lance wasn't for sure how she got there or who was responsible, but there she was.

"SILENCE!" Adam yelled, "Let her speak!" He said and a hush went over the crowd. Darren lowered the music so all was silent. Everyone waited, breaths caught in excitement. Lance wasn't entirely sure, but he was pretty sure over two hundred people were in the room just...Watching the cow. Kaltenecker shifted slightly.

"Moo."

"YES!" The crowd screamed, an uproar of approval thundering throughout the building. Draven turned up the music again and a dance-off between Daniel Bishop (who the Hell invited him?) and Hunk began. 

* * *

"I thought you didn't like painting your nails." Keith asked as he stuck out his tongue from the corner of his mouth, concentrating on not turning the skin around Shiro's fingers purple "Also, there is a professional that can do this."

"Yeah, but it's funny to watch you struggle." Shiro answered and swiped a wet nail over Keith's nose.

"I didn't keep you alive to act like this."

* * *

"I'm sorry about this, Romelle." Lance sighed "I didn't want it to come down to this..." He told her and Romelle reached for his arm.

"Neither did I." She whispered, barely audible over the chaos that surrounded them. Lance took another step and Romelle followed suit. They continued walking around in circles... Waiting for the moment to come.

Suddenly the music stopped.

Lance dove, pushing Romelle out of the way to throw himself into the chair and scream in triumph.

"I WIN!"

"NO!" Romelle groaned "I can't believe I lost _again_. Why do you humans like this game with musical chairs anyways?" She grumbled and took another shot as punishment for her loss "Where's Allura? She won't make me play stupid human games."

* * *

"When did you and Adam start having sex?"

Shiro glanced over, removing an half-eaten cucumber from his eye. He couldn't see Keith through all of the steam, so he put it back on.

"We're waiting for marriage."

"You're really going to tell me that after I spent how many years listening to your shitty foreplay through the walls?'

"I don't know what you're talking about." Silence answered him. Shiro lifted the cucumber again. "It wasn't _that_ bad-"

"Yes. Yes, it was."

* * *

"Bad idea."

"Good idea."

"Bad idea."

"Good idea," Adam insisted "Listen. Lance. Listen. Good idea." He said and paused "But only after we sober up more. _Then_ it is a good idea." He nodded eagerly and whispered, "We can aim at Bishop."

Lance considered, looking at where his ex-roommate in question was obnoxiously chatting up Rachel. Lance's sister seemed unimpressed with Bishop's advances and threw a drink in his face.

"...We can't use real guns then." He mused and Adam's brows came together before turning to Hunk who was talking to a few of his mob employees who had hired as bouncers for the party.

"Hunk! Hunk!" Adam said and tapped his arm "Can you cover up a murder?"

"... _No_. Wait. Why?"

"Dude!" Lance complained "Paint guns! We have paint guns!"

"Oh," Adam hummed and turned back to Hunk "Nevermind."

* * *

"I can't believe this."

"I _swear_ , I didn't know."

"This isn't fair." Shiro pouted, looking out the window as the car zoomed down the dark road, definitely way above the intended speed limit. He was still in his spa robes, not having a chance to get any of his things before he and Keith had been paraded out of the spa. Keith patted his arm. 

"I'm sorry," He sighed "We can go back another time." He said in an attempt to brighten the mood as the car made another sharp turn, barrelling them down another street. Shiro sighed, but nodded, ignoring the pedestrian they almost hit. At least they weren't tied up.

"I would get kidnapped on the night before my wedding." He sighed.

* * *

"Guys! The stripper is here!" Pidge yelled as she opened the door and tilted her head "Dang. Camilla really did pull through. She's got you in a costume and everything." She said and stepped to the side to let the man in.

"I'm...Not a stripper. I've recieved a noise complaint and - what is going on here?" The man said, looking around the room with his mouth dropping in horror "I can already see at least three laws being broken right now. I'm going to have to call this into the station."

"Wow. You're act really sucks. We know you're the stripper, dude." Pidge said and pointed to where Adam was sitting on Kaltenecker, feeding her some treats "The groom is over there. Have fun." She said and with that turned around to continue bothering Nathan for more drinks when the bartender in question waved brightly.

"HI DAD!" He yelled and Pidge spat out her apple juice. The man froze, eyes widening upon seeing Nathan behind the bar, serving someone a jello shot.

"You're dad is the stripper?!" She asked Nathan, horrified. Nathan paused in handing out another drink to glance over at where she was sitting before letting his eyes flick back to where the man had caught sight of Darren and Draven at the DJ stand. The pair also waved at him, greeting him the same way their brother had.

"Um...No? My dad is actually a cop."

Oh shit.

" _Officer Hale_?!" Lance choked out, suddenly appearing next to Pidge. She spun around to look at him.

"You know him?!" She shouted, trying to be heard over the music. Lance nodded forlornly.

"He's the guy who arrested me for stealing those dogs and making a drunken getaway in a police car." He yelled back "Damnit Nathan - you told your dad?"

"No!"

"We're all getting arrested." Pidge groaned before pinching the bridge of her nose "Well. Adam did say he wanted to run from the cops." She grumbled and Lance held up a hand.

"No, no, no. I _got_ this." He said and slid up to where the officer was begging his kids to get off of the DJ stand before he called their mother. Draven gasped at the threat, immediately launching into a tirade of hurt and betrayal as Darren turned the music up louder. She watched as Lance siddled up to the scene and sighed. 

They were screwed

* * *

"I HAVE THE STRIPPER!" Camilla yelled, slamming the doors open. The party stopped at her entrance, a hush going over the crowd. "He is the most glorious stripper of all. However... Only for Adam. Nobody else." She told them, wagging her fingers "You!" She said, pointing at Adam through the crowd "Go upstairs."

"I thought the stripper was already-" Adam started, but was cut off by Camilla scowling.

"Go!" She insisted and Adam scurried off while Lance stared in concern at her. He looked over to where Officer Hale was slowly growing more and more red in the corner and sighed. It was going to take all of his charm to keep them from all going to jail.

"Abuela..." He started and stopped when Keith and Shiro entered the room. "Abuela, did you hire Adam's fiancée as the stripper?"

"I don't think I'm getting paid for this," Shiro told him. He was standing in a robe, a pout on his lips "I do this only out of love." He muttered and Camilla jabbed him in the ribs.

"Go! I'm not paying you to stand around!"

"We just established you _aren't_ paying me. You kidnapped - okay, okay. I'm going!" He objected when Camilla turned to him. Lance turned to Keith as he disappeared up the stairs after Adam. The sound of the door opening filled the quiet building. Everyone leaned in, waiting for the reaction.

"Hi babe."

" _YES!_ " Adam's voice sounded from the second floor and Camilla nodded.

"I told you," She said and clapped her hands "Now. I will show you all how to play Russian Roulette-" She started and Lance opened his mouth to stop her when he felt a small tug on his sleeve and turned to find his boyfriend frowning at the scene surrounding them.

"Why is Kaltenecker here?" Keith asked.

* * *

Lance had gone to war. Like actual war. And _lived_. One would _think_ he could survive a paintball fight.

They had cleared the dance floor and turned down the music as Hunk lined up some of the dildo decorations on a table on the other end of the room. Pidge was currently backing people away from the tables, allowing a clear path for Adam and Lance as they curiously looked over the paintball guns they had been handed.

“Remember when you used to be scared of these things?” Adam asked, smirking a bit when Lance tested the range “You’re welcome.” He added snidely, pushing up his glasses. Lance scowled at him.

“I didn’t thank you,” He said “Don’t get cocky just because you were the one who taught me how to shoot. I’ve had a lot of practice recently…I think I may be a better shot than you now.” He sang and Adam rose an eyebrow at him.

“You think so?” He asked “I hope you know that whole ‘and the student becomes the master’ trope doesn’t always happen in real life.” He said and glanced over to Kinkade “Hey Ryan! Want to judge or join in?”

“I think I’ll judge,” the MFE snorted, looking between them with a slight shake of the head. “I don’t think I want to be involved in the drama of whatever outcome this will cause.”

“Are you saying we’re _dramatic people_?” Adam gasped “Lance, did you hear that?”

“Us? Dramatic? Honestly, Kinkade. That’s so disrespectful.”

“We’re very serious, stoic soldiers hardened from war,” Adam added “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“This is exactly why I don’t want to compete.” Kinkade muttered and shimmied to the front of the group “Okay…So I’m going to give you a target and we’ll see who gets more hits. Best out of three?”

“Make it five.”

“Oh? Scared, Adam?” Lance asked, smirking a bit and Adam flicked the side of his head.

“Just want to give you a chance, kid.” He answered and Kinkade rolled is eyes.

“Okay. So we have five, uh, targets.” He started, eyes flicking to the rainbow colored dildos in front of them “Aim for the far left one. Adam you first.”

And so it began. Kinkade operated on a point system in terms of positioning, area hit, how fast you were, and other factors as Adam and Lance traded off shots. The crowd was pretty much silent as they worked. It was hard to tell who was winning since none of them aside from Kinkade knew anything about sniping and it looked like they were both hitting with deadly accuracy. Shiro put a hand over his heart.

"I forgot what it was like to watch him shoot." He whispered to Hunk, who raised an eyebrow.

"You're not even watching him. You're just looking at his ass."

"Yep." Shiro agreed and Hunk made a face, turning to Pidge.

"Gross," He muttered "Where did Allura go?"

"You get gross around Shay," Pidge pointed out "And I think she said she had an idea and I haven't seen her since." She told him and scowled as Lance gave a whoop when a splatter of paint hit the dildo off the table and somehow catapaulted it onto the wall. The crowd oohed.

"That's has to be some style points, right?!" He yelled and Adam gaped at him as Kinkade made a note in his notebook that had randomly appeared out of nowhere. Pidge was 99 percent sure that he always kept one in his back pocket, but had no proof.

"Let me try!" Adam said and aimed, though not before turning to Keith "Remember this the next time you make me mad." He told him and shot. Keith scowled.

"What did I do?" He muttered, crossing his arms. Lance looked more disturbed by the threat, sliding between Keith and Adam.

"Don't make him mad," Lance suggested "He isn't bluffing."

"I'll try my best." Keith told him, completely deadpan as he stared Adam down. The man shrugged, ruffling Lance's hair as the paladin went to take his next shot and chuckled a little when Lance tried to swat him away. Eventually Kinkade cleared his throat, gaining a flurry of excitement from the viewers. Everyone shuffled in as he looked over his notes.

"The winner is..." He started and Adam turned to Lance.

"Even though you lost...I'm really proud of you."

"That is so sweet. Now shut up so I can hear my name being called." He shot back and Adam snorted, shoving him a little so they could listen to Kinkade deliver the news. Keith yawned.

"A tie." He said and put his pad of paper down as a groan washed over the crowd.

"Predictable."

" _Boo_!" Officer Hale yelled and a few people nodded in agreement while others stared at the cop in confusion.

"I sent a dick flying! How did I not win that?!"

"Looks like we need a tie breaker!" Someone said and everyone turned to see Allura standing in the doorway with a small, floating pod next to her. She smiled brightly, hitting the roof of the pod so that more paint guns dropped to the ground. "Everyone pick a team! Lance or Adam's. We fight to the _death_!" She yelled and everyone roared in approval.

"I thought we were doing that tomorrow...?" Romelle shouted as Lance gasped and gripped Keith's arms.

"Run!" He told him "Adam is coming for you!"

"I think I'll be okay," Keith told him. Lance looked like he wanted to argue, but stopped when he caught sight of Bishop attempting to show Rachel how to aim properly (the wrong way). He looked at his boyfriend.

"I love you. You're on my team. I hope you survive." He told him "But there's something I have to do." He said and picked up his gun before hitting Adam's arm and nodding towards where Griffin had appeared next to Rachel and Bishop to tell them they were both handling the pain guns wrong. Shiro sighed, but only picked up a paintball gun and turned to Keith. 

"Do you think anyone will give me some real clothes?" He asked, gesturing to the spa robe he was still in. Keith shook his head. "This is going to - uh, officer?" He asked when the policeman wandered over and picked up one of the guns.

"Have something to say, Shirogane?" He asked.

"Uh...No. Not at all."

* * *

"I finally have them! The perfect flowers!" Coran yelled as he burst through the door "I went through half the galaxy to - oh." He said, dropping a bouquet to the floor when he entered the building. Romelle had used the communicator to give them the address they were at, but he hadn't realized his friends were being _attacked._

"Coran...?" Came a weak whisper and the Altean gasped, falling to his knees as he grabbed Allura's hand.

"Princess! What happened? Don't worry, I'll get you a healing pod, just stay with me!" He said and Allura groaned from where she laid on the floor, covered in glitter.

"Coran...The humans...They have a dance." She whispered "They called it the Cupid Shuffle..."

"The Cupid Shuffle did this to you?" Coran asked, bewildered "Is that where these markings came from?" He asked, pointing at colorful dots lining her clothes. As he looked around he could see most of the victims were covered in them from head to toe. Allura hummed.

"Paintball fight..." She murmured "Check on Romelle. She took a hit for me."

This hadn't been an attack. This had been a _battle_. Coran let out a cry of anguish as Allura went lax in his grip, head tilting to the side as she went back to sleep. Pidge groaned at it, covering her ears as she buried her face further into Hunk's side.

"Ah. So weak. When I was a little girl we had something called the whip and the nae nae." Someone called and Coran turned to see Camilla pouring herself a cup of coffee on the bar, shoving Nathan's body out of the way to do it "Officer, would you like one as well?" She asked and the cop hummed, holding out his mug for Camilla to fill it up.

"What happened?" Someone else said and Coran looked to see Krolia stepping over bodies as she entered the room "The wedding is today. Do we know where Adam and Shiro are?" She asked and from somewhere there was another groan. "Camilla what happened?"

"I told you my stripper was good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. There you go. Sorry, that took so long to get up - life has been wild as of late. I also posted some more one-shots since I last updated so if you want to check that out here's a link then [here you go.](https://caffeinatedflumadiddle.tumblr.com/post/179321112930/basically-green-happy-birthday-keith) The is the last thing I posted was for Keith's birthday and it was essentially him being jealous of Adashi's one-year-old kid because Adam and Shiro aren't giving him 100% of their attention (not that he would EVER admit it). 
> 
> That's it! See you guys later for the actual wedding to start!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ARE YOU READY FOR A MARRIAGE?!!
> 
> ...Adam and Shiro aren't either tbh.

"Are you crying?"

Adam glanced up from the chair he was currently curled up in, sipping his coffee forlornly as he looked bitterly out the window before turning to find Lance staring at him from the entrance of the room.

"No."

"And you were worried about _Shiro_ getting cold feet," Lance told him, walking in the room and falling into the chair across from him "You're getting married. What's wrong?"

"I'm not crying."

"You act like I've never seen you cry before," Lance frowned at him and lightly kicked his shin "I'm not a kid anymore, you know. You can talk to me about stuff." He offered and bit his lip "I know things feel different with the war-"

"That isn't it!" Adam jumped in, shaking his head frantically and groaned, tilting his head up towards the ceiling. "I just... I never thought I would actually get here, you know? I always thought Takashi would die first or I would get blown up or Keith would somehow ruin everything..." He scowled and whispered "He still could."

"Keith isn't going to ruin anything," Lance told him, putting a placating hand on the man's arm "I made him promise."

"He'll find a loophole."

"Adam."

"Remember when we _both_ used to be against him?" Adam complained "Now you've betrayed me and joined forces with him." He grumbled, tapping the rim of his cup "I raised a _traitor_." He added. They were speaking in Spanish as always, but Lance got up to close the door anyways in case one of his family members or Isabella were walking passed.

"Listen," He told him "If it makes you feel any better we can conspire against Shiro and Keith after your honeymoon." He offered "Just because Keith and I are dating doesn't mean I don't like to annoy him anymore... He might get a big head now that he's with someone as gorgeous as me."

Adam stared.

"Yeah...You're probably right. Takashi has the same problem."

"Of course he does," Lance shrugged "Think about how bad it is going to get when you're officially married. We're going to have to constantly keep him on his toes. Keith too." He said and Adam rolled his eyes. He put the coffee down on the table, rubbing his temple for a few seconds before letting his eyes flick back towards Lance.

"Thanks, Alejandro." He sighed "Sorry I'm in a weird mood."

"You're hungover and about to get married. I think it's understandable." Lance chuckled "But no time for emotions now! We have to get you ready! I have your tux over there and shoes under the chair your sitting in. Let's go!" He said, clapping his hands loudly. Adam hissed in pain. "I'll maybe get you some headache medicine too."

"Thank you."

* * *

"Oh my _God_ ," Hunk gaped as he stepped in front of the altar. "Coran...How...?" He demanded, eyes wide as it swept in front of the venue.

Lance had rented out a park for the wedding, which was big enough to support the thousand and something people now attending. Allura's work had made it so some of the seats were floating if they were too far back to see, almost as if they were in some sort of opera house. The lions were already placed around the outer rim of the area (Romelle's flower crowns visible on their heads... Red was also wearing a giant bow-tie, which Hunk strongly believed to be Lance's work. Green was holding a giant pride flag in her mouth...That was probably Pidge's work. Black's eyes were also broadcasting a giant hologrammed screen so that people could see the altar up close).

But what was the most awing however were the _flowers_.

They were of all different colors, shapes and sizes that filled most of the area. They were interwoven in the chairs, curling around altar, outlining the aisle and, most impressively, _floating in the air_. Some of them were even sparkling like fairies as they danced around. He turned to Coran.

"I don't think you know what a flower girl does." He said and Coran blinked.

"Did I do it wrong?" He asked, panic edging into his voice. Hunk smiled.

"No, you did _amazing_ ," He whistled lowly "It's beautiful. I don't even think Earth has that many flowers..." He trailed off "Where did you get them?" He asked and Coran launched into his tale of traveling the galaxy in the search for the perfect flowers (and ended up getting...All of the flowers).

"...Oh! And My two comrades were of immense help, of course-"

"Someone went with you?" Hunk frowned, tilting his head "Who?"

"VERONICA!" There was a crash as someone marched through the aisle "NADIA!"

"Ms. Rivera?" Hunk asked, bewildered as his teacher stumbled in. She was covered head to toe in flowers, clothes tattered and some strange goo on her face that Hunk did _not_ want to investigate. She glanced around, meeting his eyes before opening her mouth.

"ELENA!" Someone else called and they all turned to see Axca marching up to them, already dressed in what Hunk recognized ceremonial armor. "There you are! Where have you been? We've been looking all over for you!" She called and Elena launched herself at galra, clinging tightly to her as if afraid Axca might try to pull away from her hug.

"The flowers tried to eat me." She whispered "He said to grab the blue flowers and I grabbed the blue flowers but _they tried to eat me_."

"Oh, it was just a nibble." Coran frowned, tugging at his moustache "I meant the other blue flowers."

"Then were was a giant bee-"

"It is called a koinet!" Coran interrupted, but stopped when Axca raised an eyebrow at him, rubbing the back of Elena's shoulder consolingly. Coran shrugged. "She volunteered to come with me."

" _No I did not_!" Elena shrieked, voice high and breaking a bit towards the end "Space is scary." She added, shivering a bit at her announcement.

"Right," Axca said dryly "Let's...Get you back to your girlfriend. She's recovering from twerking all last night."

Hunk turned to Coran. Before he could ask there was another yell and a second person appeared, running next to where Hunk was standing on the altar.

"YOU BROUGHT US _BACK?"_ George yelled. Unlike Elena, he looked better than Hunk had ever seen him. He was dressed in some sort of holographic space suit that looked like it was made out of materials that were a cross between hardened armor and silk. "Coran, you said I could stay there!"

"I figured you wanted to come back to the wedding first."

"Why?" George groaned "That planet was _fantastic."_ He said and looked up at the sky "I'm coming back for you!" He called and looked around the venue with a slight wrinkle of his nose "And after this...I will never return." He whispered. Coran hummed, seemingly nonplussed by this wild reaction. Hunk stared.

"What...Happened to him?" He asked as Coran started pulling the petals off of remaining flowers and putting them into a basket.

"We went to Galrina, which is a planet in the twelth quadrant." The Altean answered "The boy quite liked it there and was adament about staying." He explained. 

"What's so great about Galrina?" He asked and George perked up at the question, eyes brightening.

"Well for starters, it's uninhabited-"

* * *

 "You look good."

Shiro straightened his tie a bit as he caught Lance's eye in the mirror before smiling a little at him, letting his hands fall as the boy walked into the room. "Where's everyone else?"

"Pidge is setting up film stuff with Kinkade and Hunk is with Coran." He answered, turning away to look at Lance "Allura is still getting ready, I think." He said and Lance grinned at the mention of Allura's outfit. "I thought you were with Adam?" He asked and Lance shuffled closer, fixing the pin of Voltron's symbol on the lapel on his suit.

"I was. I wanted to talk to you real quick." He said and took a step back to admire his work before nodding "Adam is kind of nervous, I think."

"Me too," Shiro sighed and Lance hummed in sympathy.

"That's normal," He said "But you guys are great together... And I love you both so much. You've been a huge part of my life and I owe you everything for keeping us alive out there." He added. Shiro placed a hand on his elbow.

"That means a lot to me."

"You're my family," Lance told him and squeezed his arm "But I swear to _God_ , Shiro. If I have to deal with Adam mourning you _one more fucking time_ I am going to make sure you stay dead." He said, narrowing his eyes "Stop it."

"I-"

" _Stop it_."

"We were having a moment!" Shiro complained "I never plan on any of that happening! I love Adam...You know that."

"I know you do!" Lance told him, voice going bright again "And you guys are going to have many years to be happy together. Many years where you are both _alive_. Right?" He asked and Shiro sighed before nodding. Lance beamed.

"You died too," He muttered and Lance picked up a blue flower and pinned it to white tux.

"This isn't about me." He pointed out "There! Something blue!" He added and hit Shiro's arm "Go get 'em tiger."

"If you and Keith ever get married... I'm going to remember this."

"Speaking of which...Where is Keith?"

* * *

"I know where you live."

"Keith, please."

"I'll find you."

"Go _away_."

"Shiro won't keep your secrets - if you try and trick him into cleaning more than you then he'll tell me." Keith warned. Adam pointed towards the door as the paladin glowered at him. His eyes flickered yellow and Adam groaned.

"Why do you act like I haven't lived with Shiro before? I helped _raise you_!"

"You know, I've been training with a secret galra organization, right?"

"For the love of-"

* * *

"Hi! I'm Romelle! Welcome, can I see where...Ah. Okay, you're in the second row, Commander Iverson!" The Altean said and gestured to the front of the venue "You'll be seated right behind Mrs. Frasier." She added, pointing to where Isabella was sitting. "And how can I help - oh." She cut herself, eyes widening as Allura brightly waved. "Hello, princess!" She said, voice going a bit higher "You look...I, um...Wow."

"Lance helped me!" Allura told him brightly, spinning to show off the pink suit "Do you like it?" She asked and Romelle nodded wordlessly. Romelle knew it was tradition for Altean royalty to wear uols (or tuxes as humans called them) at formal events, but she wasn't expecting... Everything else. "There's this store called Sephora here and it has all these things you can put on your face! I have something called lipstick on - it makes your lips purple, but Lance said there are other colors too." She told Romelle, gesturing as she spoke "And eyeliner which...I don't know what it does, but it looks neat! And your flower crown looks amazing with it!" She added, gesturing to the gift Romelle had awkwardly shoved at her a few days ago. Romelle kept nodding.

"It looks amazing." She squeaked out and Allura's face flushed at the compliment, tugging at a strand of her hair that had been straightened and braided back with wisps of gold and pink string interwoven in. She shuffled a little, looking Romelle over before plucking something out her pocket.

"Um...Here. I thought since you made me something I could return the favor." She said and held out something golden with a glowing blue jewel at the end. "When Shay came I asked if she could bring me a balmeran rock and sort of used my powers to meld this together. I thought if you might like it." She added and Romelle swallowed. 

"For me?" She asked, a little dumbly and grabbed the necklace. "It's beautiful."

"Oh good," Allura sighed, clearly relieved. Romelle slipped it around her neck, running her thumb over the glowing jewel and smiled. She opened her mouth, perhaps to say something else to Allura, but was cut off by someone clearing their throat.

"Excuse me?" A redheaded boy whined "Aren't you supposed to tell me where to sit? I've been waiting forever!"

"Oh my _God_ , Bishop!" Lance's yell came from behind Romelle "Why are you even _here_? You should know I have my maracas somewhere. Don't test me!" 

"Maracas...?" Romelle whispered. Allura shrugged.

* * *

 _"Get back here you evil thing_!" Pidge yelled as she dove across the room and hissed when she slammed into the wall "I swear - you  _know_ this isn't fair!" She complained "Stop being difficult and put the bow tie on! It is going to be adorable!" She yelled and made another attempt to dive on the other end of the room only to be met with a face full of pillows.

"What...Are you doing?"

"Adam!" Pidge yelled, looking up "Thank God. Please help me! I'm too small and Kinkade is helping Jenny with her dress right now and Keith is nowhere to be found as usual." She scowled, crossing her arms indignantly. She was wearing her dress for the wedding, which was making everything _that_ much harder. While the green silk fabric was pretty and all, it was also floor length and kept tripping her up.

"You're going to ruin the beading if you keep running into things." Adam informed her, nodding towards the intricate design on the top half of her dress. She scowled and turned her gaze in the corner where the traitor was waiting patiently for her next move.

"You have no right being this difficult!" She snapped and Kosmo whined, rearing his head back indignantly at her tone "Bad wolf! Just put the stupid tie on!" She said, crossing her arms. Adam laughed. If it wasn't his wedding day she would have kicked his ass.

"Kosmo," Adam called sweetly "You want a treat? Come here!" He called and Kosmo cocked his head at Adam's voice. At the word 'treat' his ears perked up, eyes solely trained on the other man "Treat?" Adam repeated and just like that there was a flash of light and Kosmo appeared in front of the groom, wagging his tail excitedly. Pidge humphed.

"Good boy!" Adam praised and held out his hand for Kosmo to lick something out of. He grabbed the tie from Pidge and put it around his neck in one fluid movement "Wow! Such a good boy!" He told him, scratching behind his ears "Now how does someone as sweet as you belong to a heathen like Keith?" He asked and Kosmo gently nipped his fingers at that. He turned to Pidge with innocent eyes.

"I'm going to remember this next time you come to me for belly rubs." She told him and Kosmo dipped his head with a low cry that almost made Pidge take it back immediately.

"Where is Kosmo sitting anyways?" Adam mused, rubbing the wolf's head "I don't need him zapping to the altar every five minutes to lick my hand." He said and looked down "Sorry, boy."

Kosmo sniffed indignantly.

"He's going to be with Leifsdottir. The two have really hit it off." Pidge told him warily. Kosmo had taken a strange liking to the MFE pilot and Ina seemed to like the wolf more than anybody else around her so they sort of went with it. "I doubt he'll leave her side. Griffin spent three hours trying to seperate the two last night during the party. He got bit."

"Why was he trying to seperate them anyways?"

"He's a moron." Pidge answered and Kosmo seemed to yip at that, wagging his tale in agreement. Adam rolled his eyes. "You ready for this?" She asked and Adam shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "Well at the very least you look _fantastic_." She grinned and Adam smiled a little at that.

"You too." He murmured "I've never seen you in a dress before. It suits you."

"I've missed them... a little." She mused and crossed her arms "Do you know what you're going to do about your problem?" She asked and Adam froze, eyes flicking to her "Come on. You got to admit I've always been your smartest student. I'm pretty observant."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Liar," Pidge accused and crossed her arms. Adam wasn't meeting her eyes, instead focused on Kosmo who was patiently sitting by his side "If I remember correctly, you were telling us not too long ago that you proposed on national television."

"I did. It was awesome." Adam said tersely, and his voice went a little high. "I think the SWAT team that was there is outside, actually..."

"It does sound awesome...And a little scary...?" She clarified, eyebrow raised "I suppose it isn't quite the same as marrying someone in front of the whole world - or entire universe, really." She clicked her tongue "I'm guessing someone with stage fright might not take well to that."

"It isn't stage fright!" Adam snapped back and Pidge smirked in triumph "It really isn't! I just - it's _annoying_ so many people have to be involved in something that doesn't belong to them is all." He grumbled "Not too long ago half the universe would have been against us anyways. The only reason they aren't anymore is because Takashi saved their asses." He muttered and when Pidge cleared her throat "You too, I guess."

"It isn't about them," Pidge said "Don't make it that way."

"It doesn't change the fact they are all staring at us like some creepy voyeuristic-"

"Adam," Pidge interrupted "You aren't doing this for them. You're doing it for Shiro." She said and Kosmo barked at that. Adam glanced over his shoulder where the car was waiting outside to take them to the venue. Pidge wasn't for sure where Shiro himself was, but figured it was good him and Adam hadn't run into each other.

"I know, I know." He sighed "I just don't like that random strangers are trying to be a part of something they don't understand. It's personal." He murmured and Pidge nodded in sympathy. After a few seconds, Adam sighed. "I mean...Really the hard part was getting here, right?" Adam said uncertainly "This should be nothing."

"What could go wrong?" Pidge smiled.

"Exactly. What could go wrong?"

* * *

"So...I don't understand," Marcus was saying. Lance was trying to remind him where to go (since he missed the rehearsal dinner) but to no prevail as he waltzed back over to where Hunk's family was sitting. Hana sighed at his greeting, looking at her wife and husband with an almost begging expression before smiling tightly at Adam's father.

"Hello again," She greeted "Are you excited for your son's wedding?"

"So you all started dating at the same time?" Marcus demanded, ignoring the pleasantries altogether. Lance groaned, watching at Kiara's face pinched with annoyance. Hana put a hand on her knee, squeezing tightly as a warning.

"No, actually. Kiara and I were married for a few years before we met Sione," She said, gesturing to Hunk's father who waved. He was balancing Talia on his lap, who was attempting to wave over at where Sylvio and Nadia were sitting. Noah was trying to escape under the chairs. 

"But-" Marcus started and was immediately silenced by Lance clearing his throat, hoping to keep the damage levels low as Kiara started narrowing her eyes.

"Mr. Frasier the ceremony is literally starting in ten minutes. We need to be with Adam right now." He said, voice rising a little "Either you come with me now or you don't get to be in the wedding." He said sharply and Marcus pursed his lips, turning to Lance with a sharp gaze. He opened his mouth, but was immediately cut off by Kiara.

"If you say _one_ annoying thing to that child I will personally punch you in the throat. Try me." She growled and Hana sighed "Go on. Say it. I would _love_ it if you decided to be a dick to someone half your age. I will use it as an excuse to - what did you want to do, sweetheart?" She asked, turning to Sione "Boil his teeth?"

"That was one option, yeah."

"There you go then!" Kiara said and clapped her hands together "So go and say whatever you were going to say to him."

There was an awkward pause.

"Um. We should get back to Adam." Marcus grumbled and turned away. There was a small chuckle and Lance turned to see his grandmother practically salsing down the aisle, plopping herself next to the Garrett family.

"Kiara!" She called "I knew I recognized your anger!" She called.

"Oh no." Lance muttered.

"Camilla! Oh thank God you're here. Where are you sitting?" Kiara called, brightening as she turned to face Camilla. Lance tugged at Marcus' arm, gesturing for him wildly to run while he could. He managed to get them back behind the altar when he saw Hunk.

"Hey, buddy..." He greeted in a whisper "Remember that thing I asked you not to do to Adam's dad during the wedding?" He asked and Hunk rose an eyebrow, but nodded. "Yeah, tell Pidge to do it."

"I knew you would join our cause eventually."

* * *

Keith was pretty relieved to say that so far the wedding encountered minimal issues. Once everyone was seated and placed there were a few beats of silence before the music started playing. He would admit Lance had made a _sort of_ good call in including live music. The piano was slow and sweet as it Yellow amplified it for the crowd. Peering through the curtain they were behind, Keith could see several alien ambassadors jump at the noise, their sensitive hearing probably jarred by the sound.

"You good?" He asked Shiro as he retreated further in the tent "I just checked...Sadly, Adam is out there." 

"Isn't that the point?" Coran asked, four baskets of flower petals in his arms. Pidge patted his back as a response before turning to her brother.

"I've said it once and I'll say it again...I think this job is meant for someone younger than me!" Matt complained "Ring bearers are supposed to be like ten!" He grumbled.

"Fine, we'll get Sylvio to do it."

"No, back off!" Matt said, holding the rings close to his chest. Shiro didn't respond to the conversation, fingers tapping nervously against his thigh. Keith nudged him.

"I'll help you make a getaway."

"Keith."

"Sorry," He snorted and patted his arm "It's going to be great. Probably. I don't know any married people to really tell you."

" _Keith_ ," Lance complained and grabbed his hand "It's going to amazing!" He said brightly to Shiro "Are you ready?"

"Maybe."

"Come on," Hunk coaxed "Adam is waiting out there waiting for you to marry the shit out of him."

"Yeah!" Matt chimed in "You gotta go put a ring on that before the next war!"

"I saw that Tricia chick who works at the Garrison trying to flirt with him yesterday," Pidge clicked her tongue "Right Allura? If you don't cha cha up to that man and stick your tongue in his mouth, she's going to try to!"

"What are you all saying?" Allura whispered. Shiro smiled a little. The Altean shook her head and turned to him. "You are promised years of happiness with that man," She told him "You just need to take the first steps towards him." She said and nodded towards the aisle. Everyone else fell silent.

"Well now I wish I had said something better than 'marry the shit out of him'." Hunk frowned.

"I thought that was pretty good," Lance shrugged "Now - fuck. Shiro wait for us!" He called and the group raced after him as Shiro began his walk down the aisle.

* * *

"Hi Sam...I didn't realize you were officiating our wedding."

"Me neither," Pidge's dad told him Katie let me know about an hour ago."

"Concerned, but not surprised." Adam murmured and blinked when the music started. He took a long breath, trying to ignore the hundreds and hundreds of people who were prying at him. He could feel curious glances and heard a few hushed whispers that reminded him of when he first arrived to the Garrison and people thought of him more as a celebrity than a student.

This wasn't the kind of attention that Adam relished in. It was the kind that was forced on him, uninvited and unearned. He wasn't the type of person who got frightened easily. After all, what did he care about what people thought of him? He knew he was spectacular and it was honor for any of them to witness his greatness.

His greatness though. Not his heart.

He almost wanted to flick some of them off for the Hell of it, but froze when movement came from the end of the aisle and Takashi emerged.

Holy fuck....Holy fuck this was happening.

A few soft gasps came from the crowd, but everything was much easier to ignore now that Takashi was within his line of sight. His shoulders relaxed a little and he smiled. Lance gave him a thumbs up from where he was tailing Takashi, his other hand brushing Keith's. Adam leveled a warning look at the newest Black paladin before refocusing on Takashi. 

"I can't believe I didn't trip." He muttered when he finally made the long trek over the red carpet. Adam smiled and interlocked their pinkies.

"Well...Not everyone made it." He murmured and Takashi's brows wrinkled as he turned to see Matt on the ground, trying to find the rings he had dropped. Takashi sighed.

"As long as it wasn't me." He murmured back and Sam cleared his throat, tapping the mic on his podium to gain everyone's attention.

"On behalf of Takashi and Adam, I welcome and thank you all for being here on this day to witness their marriage..."

* * *

"He's not close enough!" Hunk whispered to Pidge as she watched her father go through the scripted words. She shook her head.

"Doesn't matter. It will still work." She murmured back and smiled brightly at Marcus, who was daydreaming slightly from Adam's side. Hunk raised an eyebrow at her and Pidge very slowly reached for a pocket in her dress.

"Remember to keep it discreet. We don't want Adam or Shiro to get interrupted!" Lance hissed.

"Obviously," She muttered back and clicked the button of a small white remote. For a second nothing happened. Pidge frowned a little, turning to Hunk with a small shrug "Do you think it worked?" She asked and froze when Shiro's arm suddenly made a beeping sound.

 _Smack_.

"Fuck." Pidge winced. That wasn't supposed to happen. Adam yelped, gripping his nose as the crowd made a noise of alarm. Lance rushed forward, steadying him with a scowl towards Pidge as Shiro looked in horror at his prosthetic.

"I thought you were aiming for Adam's dad. Not Adam." Hunk said bandly.

"I must have done something wrong!" Pidge whispered back, horrified "Shiro didn't actually let me mess with his arm that long." She said and gnawed at her lip "I guess nothing says true love like getting bitch slapped at your own wedding." She added with a helpless shrug. Hunk shook his head.

"I'm good!" Adam yelled, accepting a tissue to keep the blood from getting all over his hands "Still beautiful. Keep going."

"I am so sorry!" Shiro was saying, looking at his prosthetic in alarm "Adam, oh my-"

"I'm good!" Adam repeated. Keith handed him another tissue.

"Are you sure you want to kiss him with blood all over his face?"

"Keith Kogane-" Shiro started and Keith held up his hands in surrender, gesturing them to carry on.

"Right, right!" Sam said, flustered "Um...Alright, uh. If any one can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." He said and flipped the page. Before he could continued there was a few gasps as Krolia rose from her seat, staring at the pair stoically. 

"I am speaking now." She said and Adam groaned.

" _Krolia_!" Shiro yelled.

"If this wedding is to proceed without my objection I must first know Adam Frasier is _worthy_!" She yelled and a few other galras clapped in agreement "To do so, I, Krolia of the Blade of Maramora and family to Takashi Shirogane challenge Adam Frasier to a warrior fight!"

Startled whispers flew around the room. Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Did you do this?" Lance hissed to Keith who was lokoing at his mom with wide eyes.

"No!" He objected, voice filled with awe "I wish I did though - _ow_." He scowled when Lance hit him.

"Do you accept?" Krolia asked and Shiro looked at the sky.

"Of course not! Why would he accept-"

"Yes. Yes I do." Adam interrupted him "If this means I can get through my wedding without a revolt then I absolutely do." He said, voice a little muffled from the still bleeding nose. Krolia nodded.

"Good. I have set up a place for our fight in the lake."

"So _that's_ what she was doing!" Pidge said, slapping her knee "I was wondering."

"Is this not customary?" Allura asked and Pidge shook her head.

"Not really, no." She informed her and the Altean's eyes widened "Why?"

"...we might have an issue with the reception then."

* * *

 "Adam you will die." Shiro was saying as Adam marched towards the lake "Babe...Let me talk to her. You're going to die. Please - Adam!" He said and grabbed his hand. Adam stopped and glowered at where Krolia was waiting, already in armor.

"She didn't say it was to the death."

"I know, but she would kill you on accident." Shiro reasoned and grabbed the side of his face so he could focus Adam's gaze on him "Listen. Let's just make a break for it and we can get married downtown really fast before anyone can catch us." He said "Then we can lay low on mars for a few years."

"Really...?" Adam asked, messing with Shiro's tie "People might-"

"It's fine," Shiro promised, kissing him "Let's go. You don't need to fight anyone-"

"Is your mom going to try to fight me too?" Lance asked as he walked by with Keith "Because I'm pretty sure she still hates me..."

"She doesn't hate you!" Keith objected, but he did glance over at his mother warily before grabbing Lance's hand.

"She asked for someone to shut me up when we were imprisoned, remember? I don't think she likes me, Keith." He sighed and Adam stared at the pair before turning back to Shiro who was already shaking his head.

"She told Lance _what_?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Shiro winced. Right. He had forgotten about that.

"Uh...So I know what it sounds like, but-"

"I'm going to fight her."

" _No._ "

* * *

"Do they still get married when Adam loses?" Matt asked "Or does that mean the entire wedding is off?"

"Adam won't lose!" Shiro objected weakly and everyone turned to him as they gathered along the lake. Krolia had somehow made some sort of floating gladiator obstacle course that would have been awesome under different circumstances. Isabella patted him on the arm. 

"I am going to kill you," She told him calmly and Shiro sighed. Marcus eagerly bounced next to them.

"Does anyone have a camera? This would make a perfect action scene in a - hey!" He shouted when Pidge shoved him in the water. She put a hand on her hip, admiring her handy work as he came up with a gasp, spluttering. He opened his mouth, nose flaring as he looked at Pidge.

"You _little-_ "

"Hello Marcus," Kiara greeted, putting a hand on Pidge shoulder's. Marcus paused. "What were you saying?" She asked and the man simply treaded water a for a few seconds before shrugging and attempting to climb out. He immediately slipped and fell back in.

Before anyone could comment further a loud clanging sound silenced them, and everyone turned to see Coran itting two pans together. This must have signaled the beginning of the fight because Krolia lunged forward, Adam barely dodging out of the way. Shiro covered his eyes.

"He won't last ten minutes!" Keith informed them, smiling wildly when Adam scurried away from the galra's next strike. He was fast enough to dodge - which admittedly was impressive in itself considering he was still getting used to his prosthetic - but not enough to fight back. Weapons were hidden in different areas of the arena and while Krolia was quick to grab hers, Adam's was defenseless. 

"There's a gun!" Lance yelled "To your right!" He called out and Keith frowned out his boyfriend, covering his mouth when Adam rolled over to yank the gun out of its hiding place "You _better let go of me, mullet_!"

"You're cheating," Keith pointed out. His voice was serious - almost disappointed. Like Lance had somehow failed a drill they were working on rather than help Adam escape alien defeat. "Do you want him to get disqualified?"

"It's amazing how much of a brat you can become when Adam is involved."

"Hey-"

"Guys look!" Hunk interrupted and they turned to see Adam swing up to one of the platforms and aim his sniper down at Krolia. The alien wasted no time trying to follow him, but jumped out of the way when Adam's first shot nearly grazed her. Shiro peaked through his fingers. Krolia considered her target, safely behind shelter as she brought her blade closer to her chest. Adam aimed again, almost nicking her arm.

"He might have a chan- oh no he doesn't. Nevermind." Camilla sighed when Krolia rolled out of her spot, running easily between Adam's shots as if she knew where he was going to aim before he hit his target. She danced up one of the platforms so Adam was forced to drop down, aiming up with a desperate attempt to get her as he fell down.

"You are a talented mark, human." Krolia told him "But I am too fast for you."

"Did you really just call me 'human'?" Adam asked "Is that what you called Keith's dad? No. You didn't. Because that's rude. I don't go around calling you 'alien'. It's my wedding day - can I get a little _respect_ please?" He called back and Krolia looked at him.

"Uh...Sorry?" She frowned and brought out another blade "I am too fast for you, _Frasier_."

"Frasier-Shirogane, actually. Or Shirogane-Frasier. We haven't decided yet." Adam said, using his sniper to block her blade. The strike went through the gun so he made a grab for another that was closer to the water. He moved out of the way and kicked at Krolia in a desperate attempt to push her in, but Krolia avoided it easily. 

"That's too long." She wrinkled her nose "Maybe you should just take his name."

"Why can't he just take mine?"

"Because if his last name isn't Shirogane then what would everyone else call him?" Krolia reasoned and Adam almost got stabbed when he froze at her logic. Keith hummed in agreement.

"Valid point." Lance muttered. Shiro stared at them.

"You could still call me Shiro-"

"Nah, we couldn't." Matt said "Krolia is right. We don't make the rules." He clicked his tongue and from the center of the lake, Adam was barely holding his ground. Still, a few galra were tilting their heads in alarm, whispering to one another. The ten minute mark had past since Coran banged the pots together and Adam was still standing.

"Hey Krolia!" Adam yelled as he practically sprinted away, shooting as he went. He had managed to hit her once, but it just left a mark on her arm, not slowing her down in the least. "Tell me something...What happens when I hit you directly with this thing?" He asked "It wouldn't hurt you too badly, right?" He asked, gesturing to his gun as he ducked another hit from the galra. Krolia went back in position.

"No. It is not designed to kill. It will cause me minimum pain. Don't be afraid to hold back." She nodded and Adam rolled between her legs, getting clipped by her blade as he did so.

"What about humans?"

"They would feel much more pain than I would." Krolia answered, not even out of breath as she continued her advances "But they would not die either. Why?" She asked and Adam smiled at her, using his free hand to wipe some sweat from his brow as he smirked a little at her and readied his gun once more.

"Just trying to distract you."

"My focus doesn't easily waver." She promised and Adam rose an eyebrow.

"Hm...Of course not," He said "Hey Keith!" He shouted and turned his gun away from Krolia and pulled the trigger.

" _Fucking son of a-"_ Keith hissed, gripping onto Lance's hand. He had moved quickly at the sudden shot, but not enough to completely miss the three pellets Adam sent his way "He shot me!"

"Keith!" Krolia gaped, but was silenced by Adam shooting her square in the chest  the moment her eyes turned to her son. She stumbled back, shock flickering her features. "Did you just _shoot him_?" She hissed, eyes flashing brighter yellow.

"Hey. I knew it wouldn't hurt him," Adam shrugged "Besides, nothing else would have broken your focus." He reasoned. "Does this mean that I win?" He asked and crossed his arms. Krolia growled, low and feral as her eyes danced between Adam and her son. Adam didn't let her answer, instead walking across the bridge that connected the middle of the platform to where the bank was. He winced when he saw Keith rubbing his chest, cursing lowly under his breath. "Sorry, demon..."

"You're an ass."

"Let me see," Krolia demanded, shoving past Adam to look at Keith. "Here, take off your shirt."

" _Mom,_ " Keith flushed "I'm fine."

"Just let me check. I don't know how someone half-human would react to-"

"I'm really fine." Keith insisted, trying to push her hands away as he turned red. Romelle snickered. Krolia ignored him.

"If you had spilled his blood..." Krolia began darkly, letting her eyes flick back to Adam "Tradition mandates I would have to strip your flesh and eat your heart."

"Good thing you weren't here for his first Thanksgiving with us then," Adam told her dryly "I swear there is still stuffing in my hair somehow." He said and Keith grimaced at him, still trying valiantly to stop Krolia from poking at his chest. Lance was smiling at the ground, biting his lip to keep the laughter at bay.

"I'm really okay. Didn't you hear the Thanksgiving thing? Focus on that." He tried weakly and Krolia pursed her lips, looking uncertain.

"When you were small, you used to eat the...what is the colored goo?" She frowned, snapping her fingers "It isn't poisonous to humans, but they shouldn't eat it?"

"Play dough?" Lance offered and yelped when Keith pinched his thigh.

"Yes!" Krolia said, pointing at him "We didn't think to worry, but when we went to change his diaper-"

"I'm fairly positive I don't want to hear how this story ends!" Keith interrupted loudly, using a hand to hide his face as he looked up at the sky "Can we please move on?"

Krolia frowned before looking at Adam, who shrugged.

"Usually if he's actually hurt he makes this stupid face." He said and mimicked the expression. Krolia nodded.

"I've noticed that too." She said and Keith made a noise of objection. Romelle's laughing got louder.

"I _will_ say it is human tradition to kiss their kids' wounds better." Adam added and Keith threw a rock at him, swearing. Krolia looked at Keith with consideration so Shiro put a hand on her arm to keep her from following Adam's advice.

"Now that we're done there...Can I please get married now?" He asked dryly and Krolia looked at Adam for a moment before begrdugingly nodding.

"It was a cheap trick, but I suppose you did win." She admitted and brushed Keith's hair from his face. The paladin sighed in exasperation.

"I hate how this turned out." He muttered.

* * *

 "Almost there...Almost there..." Shiro chanted as they walked back to the altar "I - hey, you okay?" He asked, looking at where Adm was slipping his tux back on, staring blankly at the ground. He jolted at Shiro's voice, eyes flickering to him before smiling tightly. 

"Yeah, I'm good. Just...Vows are coming up."

"I promise that I put in that I would stop dying-"

"No, no." Adam interrupted "It's not that! I'm sure your vows are perfect. I just..." He gestured vaguely around them "I don't know. They're for you." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair "Not them."

Shiro tilted his head, eyes softening.

"I can get that." He smiled "I'm not a fan of letting anyone else hear either... Lance is going to tease me over it, I know it." He added with a slight wrinkle of his nose. Adam snorted, but didn't argue with that fact. For a second they just stood there, waiting for Sam to tell them they could continue when Shiro grabbed his hand.

"I have an idea."

* * *

"Right. So...We're back." Sam said, dusting off his suit and nodding "Um...Any other objections?" He asked and Adam raised an eyebrow at the crowd. He looked over at Lance, who waved his bayard around. Nobody stood up. "Great! So who gives this man to be married to this man?" He asked gesturing to Shiro and then to Adam. The paladins all raised their hands "Perfect. Do you take Adam Frasier for your lawfully wedded husband, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?" He said, reading the script and looking up.

"I do." Shiro said and Adam gave a sigh of relief.

"Wonderful. Adam, do you take Takashi Shirogane for your lawfully wedded husband, in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?" He asked.

"Um...Live. Die. Whatever. Yes." Adam said, eyes flicking Shiro up and down suspciously. Lance snorted. 

"Alright...Um. It says here you have to exchange vows." Sam told them "So whenever you're ready." He told them and Adam smirked before pulling something out of his pocket. Shiro also pulled something out and they handed it to one another. "Wait. This isn't in the script...What's happening? Did I do it wrong?" Sam demanded, flipping through his papers. Shiro laughed.

"No, we just wrote them down. We're not going to say them out loud."

"...Are you allowed to do that?" He asked, looking around. The crowd mumbled at the announcement. The paladins shrugged. "Well...Technically they are exchanged so we're going to go with it. Do you need a second to read them?" He asked and the two nodded "Alright...Uh, a moment of silence for them to read the vows." He said and they both looked down. Adam smiled, interlocking their pinkies as he finished his. Shiro blushed. Sam waited a few seconds before turning to Matt "I need the rings."

"Uh...So. Here's the thing..."

" _Matt_!" Shiro and Adam said together and their friend held up his hands in defense, wincing slightly "That fight between Adam and Krolia was so exciting! I just...Kind of...Maybe...Dropped one in the lake with all drama going on?" He smiled innocently, the guilt trickling through the cracks of his expression. The crowd groaned. "Don't _judge_ me!" Matt yelled at them.

"For the love of God," Isabella said and pulled off the gold band on her hand "Take mine." She said, holding it out. Marcus frowned.

"I gave that to you."

"And now I'm giving it to Adam." She snapped at him and marched up to the altar. Marcus looked like he wanted to argue more, but Isabella had already placed the ring in Shiro's hand and raised an eyebrow. "Be careful with that. It is worth more than that fancy arm of yours."

" _Mom_ ," Adam groaned and Isabella shrugged, going back to her seat and gesturing for Sam to continue.

"Right...Put them on quick before something else happens." He told them and Shiro slipped the ring onto Adam with a bit of effort. Adam did the same just as quickly "With this ring I thee wed. Wear it as a symbol of our love and commitment." Sam began and frowned "Um...There's a lot more written here, but do you want me to just skip to the ending?"

"Please." Shiro nodded.

"Great. I now pronounce-"

"SURPRISE!"

"For the love of God!" Adam shouted "Why?"

The crowd turned at the sound of loud whirring, seeing a large purple ship descending rapidly down with two figures hanging down, waving merrily at them all below. For a second everyone squinted before panic began to spread. The galra in the crowd brought out their weapons with a growl, scowling up at the sky.

"Pirates!"

"Ezor?" Axca asked, placing a hand over her hip with a little annoyance. She sighed and turned to Nadia, who was in the middle of poking James in the cheek as he scowled at where Keith and Lance were standing "I got to take care of this."

"Kick her ass, babe. We'll be there in a sec."

"Everyone get to your lion!" Keith shouted, tugging at the tux before sprinting away from the altar. He disappeared for a moment before there was a yell of confusion "Where is my suit? I put them all here just in case!" He shouted and Shiro sprinted after him "Our armor is gone - did they plan this?" He asked and Adam hummed, looking innocently at the ring on his hand. Lance nudged him.

"Did you hide the suits?"

"Hm? What?"

"Adam!" Shiro shouted from where he and Keith were now looking for the paladins' bayards "Where are they? Earth is in danger!"

" _My wedding is in danger_!"

"We're going to die." Hunk sighed "And we didn't even get to try my food." He mumbled. Shiro threw up his hands and raced back to the altar.

"We have three minutes before they start shooting. Hit it, Sam."

"Wait," Adam said "I was going to tell you where the suits are-"

"I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND HUSBAND! YOU MAY NOW KISS THE  GROOM!" Sam shouted and Shiro interrupted Adam by grabbing his lapels and kissing him. The paladins politely clapped, ignoring the screaming around them as the first beam came down. 

"I found your stuff!" Romelle shouted "They were in the bushes."

"Thanks, Romelle!" Allura told her tugged off her tux to slip on the armor. Romelle blanked for a moment before Keith hit her on the head.

"Go find shelter!" He snapped at her and turned to Allura "Don't just dramatically strip in front of her! Are you crazy?" He added and raced off towards Black. He froze after a few steps and circled back around to where Lance was about to put on his helmet. "I'm going to go fight pirates!" He announced and kissed Lance before dashing off again.

"I - you don't need to tell me where you're going if I'm coming with you!" He shouted after him and sighed. "I'm too hungover for this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Just think - if you are ever nervous for your wedding...It won't be as much as a mess as Adam and Shiro's. At least they got through it! Stay tuned for the reception.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Hope you enjoy the last chapter of this fic. Stay tuned for important stuff in ending a/n!
> 
> WARNING: Discussion of some NSFW stuff at the end. No smut or anything, but I did use the word sex so prepare to be shook.

"Well...This is fitting."

Pidge groaned, looking up from where she was lying on the ground, trying to keep her eyes open so she could look at the black clad woman in front of her. 

"How so?"

"Well, we were the SWAT team present for this guy's engagement to his husband. Glad we could make the wedding." She explained and Pidge rolled her eyes, falling back to the ground so she could take a well deserved nap.

* * *

 "I know this isn't super relevant," Keith announced as he entered the tent, part of which was still on fire with Hunk desperately trying to put it out "But I just wanted to ask how this affected my best man's speech. Do I still have to do that or...?" 

"What are you _talking_ about?" Allura asked, sitting next to Krolia who was wiping blood off of her blade "The reception is still going to go as planned. It was just one battle." She shrugged "Why would we change anything? Though...I guess we do have to consider that half the decorations are on fire." She winced and patted Coran's arm. The man in question was holding a single petal, mustache quivering.

"It was so beautiful..."

"We got plenty of pictures!" Hunk told him reassuringly, waving his arm around when the flames spread of the sleeve of his shirt "And Kinkade filmed a lot of it!"

"Yeah, there's a really good one of Shiro hitting Adam during the ceremony!" Romelle informed them as she jumped on Keith. The paladin in question cursed at her, but tucked her legs under his arms piggyback style "Carry me to the snack bar!" She instructed.

"I just fought a bunch of aliens!" Keith objected "Plus the Zethrid and Ezor stole all the snacks." He mumbled. Romelle huffed, putting her chin on the top of his head. "Can you get _off_ me?"

"No."

" _Keith_!" Lance's voice came from outside the tent and the remaining cloth was torn down to reveal a very irritated paladin "Where the Hell is - _you_!" He growled when he spied his boyfriend "I _cannot_ believe you did that!" He shouted and the rest of the tent slowly turned to where Keith was standing with Romelle on his back.

"Uh...I was actually just taking Romelle to the snackbar-"

"What did he do?" Krolia interrupted, narrowing her eyes at her son. Keith looked up at Romelle. The Altean rose an eyebrow. After a few seconds she sighed, grumbling under her breath before giving a shriek that made the entire group jump.

"My leg! Oh no! It hurts so much! Keith please hurry and take me somewhere to fix my horrifically damaged leg!" She wailed, flinging an arm over her eyes "No! The rest of you don't follow! I don't want you to see me like this..." She whispered and pounded a fist into Keith's back "The pain is too much...Keith...Hurry...I'm...Blacking...Out..." She said and slumped forward slightly.

"I can heal you." Allura volunteered "I could use some Altean magic-"

"Yes please!" Romelle said, popping back up. Keith made a noise of betrayal, tilting his head up to glare of at her "Oh, he's _your_ boyfriend." She sniffed "Deal with it, you coward." She told him and held out her arms so Allura could gently ease her off the paladin's back.

"Your leg doesn't look hurt-"

"Oh it is. I'm in a lot of pain." Romelle assured her, putting her arms around the other Altean's neck "I think I broke it, quite frankly. My hands hurt too. I was doing some heroic stuff in the background, you know. I guess being around you guys is rubbing off on me because I've been more badass than usual lately."

"Keith." Lance called, crossing his arms over his chest "I'm still pissed over here!"

"It wasn't anything personal!" Keith told him, hands raised "I was just thinking it would be better if you were with Adam, considering the last time he flew-"

"KEITH KOGANE!" Adam's voice yelled, silencing the converation"I _cannot_ believe you did that!"

"What did he do?" Krolia repeated "I saw him in battle. He was perfectly safe the entire time... Although, I will say his manuevering was a little sloppy towards the end." She shrugged "But his form was pretty good."

"He ordered me to fall back with Adam and then _cut me out of the formation_!" Lance hissed, eyes narrowing "What if we had needed Voltron? You think I'm that useless that Adam had to babysit me? Is that it?" He said, gesturing wildly. Adam frowned at him.

"I thought he sent you back because he wanted you to babysit me - which is _not_ okay!" He added, turning to Keith "I'm not a paladin of Voltron so I'm not subject to your orders, Keith. You have no right to be trying to-"

"We just didn't need you on the front lines!" Keith objected "It wasn't like I didn't think you couldn't - I just... I don't need to explain myself to you!" He interrupted himself "I'm in charge!"

"Ooh. Bad move, dude." Hunk muttered as both Adam and Lance gaped.

" _Excuse me_?"

"You did not just say that!"

"You want to tell _me_ you don't have to explain yourself?" Adam continued, nostrils flaring "You don't need to _explain yourself to me_? I think the last time you said that to me was when you were fifteen and there was cigarettes in your room. How did that work out for you?" 

Keith stared.

Adam waited.

"It was Shiro's idea!" He broke and Lance looked at Adam with his brows raised in a silent gesture of approval "He didn't want you to be alone since the last time you flew...You, uh, kind of got shot out of the sky...And I knew Lance was capable of protecting you?" He added, turning to smile at his boyfriend weakly. Lance didn't look impressed. "Oh come _on_. You literally died last time, Lance. I had a right to be concerned-"

"Emotion shouldn't be a factor in your leadership," Krolia frowned "The loud one could have been an asset in the battle."

"Thank you, Krolia! Uh...Sort of." Lance added and turned to point at Keith "I'm  _furious_ with you -  but are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good! Because I'm going to storm out now and continue being _pissed off_!" He shouted and went to leave "I'm glad you're okay and I love you!" He yelled aggressively and tugged off his armor roughly as he tried to loudly bang something.

"I love you too." Keith said.

"Fuck you."

"This is a very strange fight." Romelle said from where Allura was trying to find her injury "I promise you it's there, princess. I'm in so much pain!" She sighed and looked at Adam "What was the human tradition you said about kissing wounds better?"

"This was _Takashi's_ idea?" He asked and at that moment, Shiro walked in, wildly glancing around. When he met Adam's eyes, he sighed in relief.

"You're okay." He smiled and took a step towards him. "Thank God-"

"I can't believe I just married you for you just stab me in the back!" Adam yelled and stormed out in the same direction Lance went. He paused. "...You can't un-marry me though. It's too late for that!" He added and marched off. Shiro looked at Keith.

"Sorry...Adam did the thing where he makes me feel like I'm five." Keith told him and made a face. "I'm not sure why it still works."

Shiro ran a hand over his face.

"Don't worry about it...I'll just make sure you have extra time to do your best man speech."

" _I said I was sorry_!"

* * *

"This is the exact reason I didn't want to come back to Earth. I told the orange haired guy not to bring me back, but you know what he said? He said he thought I would like to be here for the wedding! Ha!" George said, crossing his arms "Can you believe that? Now I'm roped into this nonsense. What am I going to do if something goes wrong in this situation? Nothing! I'm not trained for this! I can ask you paper or plastic...And admittedly, sometimes I forget to ask that, so really I'm the worst candidate for this job." 

"You know what would _really_ show them?" Ezor asked, picking at her handcuff "Is if you just let us go." She tried, smiling brightly. Zethrid hummed in agreement.

"I said that I wasn't trained to deal with alien pirates. Not that I'm stupid." George told them dryly.

"We can take you with us! We live pretty peaceful lives." Ezor tried, batting her eyelashes and smiling prettily. George looked around them. Several spaceships were crashed and smoking on the ground. A group was sitting down as medics treated them and different alien ambassadors were trying to identify members of other pirates to see what planet they should report them to.

"I see that." George said and raised a hand in greeting. "Hi Elena."

"Hey George," Elena waved "Have you seen Veronica?" She asked and the cashier jutted a thumb over his shoulder where Veronica was checking over Nadia with a critical eye as James huffily tapped his foot in the corner. Kinkade was standing over Pidge, repeatedly nudging her with his foot until she finally sat up and scowled at him.

"Oh thank God-"

" _Acxa_?" Zethrid yelled, noting the alien next to Elena "I should have known with those abysmal piloting skills! Come here for your little paladin?" She demanded, chin jutting out as she looked at her old friend. Elena froze, eyes flickering between the two warily.

"I'm here for Shiro and Adam's wedding." Acxa told them, crossing her arms over her chest. Ezor snorted.

"So are we! Tell the happy couple we said congrats!" She smiled "It is actually quite sweet. I'm almost sorry we ruined it." She clicked her tongue and Acxa rolled her eyes. "I must say-"

"You're alright!"

Nadia flung herself at Acxa, messing up her glasses a little as she did so. Ezor stopped her sentence, staring blankly at the pilot before flicking her eyes to Veronica who immediately started scanning Elena for injuries.

"Um...What?" She asked and looked at Zethrid "Did Acxa get a girlfriend? How cute! Who are _you_ sweetheart?"

"Can I leave now?" George asked from where he was still sitting "I feel like you guys have this covered."

"I'm Nadia! I think I'm the one who shot your ship down - Ezor, right?" She asked, smiling and stuck out her hand. Ezor looked down at her handcuffs. "Ah. My bad." She smirked and retracted her hand "That's Veronica - Acxa's other girlfriend." She added, jutting out her chin.

"Why are you telling them this?" Acxa scolded "They're going to target you next time!" She snapped at her, putting a hand on her hip. Nadia shrugged.

”I mean...there won’t be a next time since they’ll be in space jail. Is that a thing? Space jail?” She mused tapping her lip.

"Wait. You have _two_ girlfriends?" Zethrid frowned "You can do that?"

"Duh," Nadia sniffed "Veronica has three!"

"That's just greedy." Ezor objected and turned her eyes to Elena "Do _you_ have four or something?"

"Um...No. I'm just dating Veronica. But Nadia and Acxa are cool friends!" She added and high-fived Nadia.

"But...She's dating Acxa and this chick?" Ezor asked, jutting her chin at Nadia. They all nodded. "And...Acxa is only dating the two with glasses?" She asked and Veronica snorted.

"She has a type."

"I do _not_."

"Humans are  _weird_." Zethrid noted "That's too complicated to keep up with." She grumbled. Before anyone could answer her, there was a shout of annoyance and Lance appeared, impatiently tugging at his sister's arm.

"Veronica you will not believe what Keith did!" He told her "He's such a jerk-"

"Hey! We know you!"

"SHUT IT! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS HERE!" Lance yelled and took a deep breath before turning back to Veronica "So anyways-"

"Alejandro, can't you go to Rachel this time?" Veronica asked and at Lance's expression, held up her hands "I'm sorry I asked. What did Keith do?"

* * *

"So...Um...Hi."

"I can't believe you're actually making him do this, Shiro." Allura frowned as she sat down next the groom "He hates it."

"My husband is currently mad at me during our _wedding_. I think I can extract some vengeance on him for tattling on me."

"Or maybe you can explain your concerns to your mate and acknowledge while your actions were not rational you would like to work together to come to a compromise that would give you more peace in mind?" Allura asked and Shiro pressed his fingers together, nodding thoughtfully at the proposition.

"I see...A responsible response. May I offer an alternative?" He asked and when Allura nodded, smiled "I saved the universe and am allowed to not be responsible ever again." He said and when Allura opened her mouth to object, held up a hand "Four teenagers. In space. Alone. For years. I'm done being responsible." He whispered.

"Honestly, I don't know why all of you are still here!" Keith complained from the pile of wood hastily put together to make a stage "We were just attacked and you guys are staying for the reception? I'm pretty sure half of you should be in the hospital." He pointed out and looked down at Ina "Leifsdottir, you're are literally bleeding all over the floor."

"Yeah...Sounds about right." She nodded. James sighed and called over a medic.

"SPEECH!" Lance yelled from where he was fuming next to Adam. Veronica was on his other side, patting his shoulder with a slight eyeroll. Keith scowled at him, opening his mouth to respond before snapping it back shut. He looked at him for a second before looking at Shiro and groaning.

"I hate this, but okay. So I could tell you all about when I first met Shiro...Or Adam. Or when I first saw them together and was super grossed out at how in love they were. I could also tell you how Shiro used to keep me up until two in the morning talking about how _wonderful_ Adam was or when Adam tried to get me to keep my mouth shut about surprises he kept planning for Shiro." He said and kicked the ground "I'm not going to do that though...Because I was there for a lot of good things...But I was also there for a lot of bad things. Arguments. Hospital visits. Sometimes they would go _days_ without talking to each other and I thought for sure Adam fucked up so badly that Shiro definitely wasn't going to forgive him-"

"Um, excuse me?"

"You know that it was always your fault," Keith informed him and Adam considered this for a moment before shrugging and falling back into his chair "But...They always made up. Every time. And one would think that... War. Space. Death. Missing limbs. More death. Clones. More war. And...Yeah, more death would end any relationship, but they are both _still here_. Together. And that's...Kind of amazing. And a little sad that Shiro couldn't find anyone better to marry."

"Keith."

"Sorry. My point is despite everything, they have still figured out how to stay together because I guess that's what love is... Working past every obstacle to just get a few more seconds with someone else. To be mad and furious and hurt, but finding a way to forgive...Because maybe the person messed up, but they had good intentions and really they were just _worried_. And maybe that person should have considered that the other is capable of looking after himself and I'm _sorry_ \- um, I mean the other person is." He added and Veronica poked Lance's arm.

"You've broken him." She said flatly and Lance sighed.

"I can't be mad at him anymore." He muttered back.

"It was a sweet speech."

"That and his shirt is buttoned wrong. I can't believe he's the best pilot of our generation, how is he even alive?" He grumbled, rubbing his temples. Adam shifted a little, looking at Shiro. He leaned over, grabbing his husband's hand.

"I get it," He whispered "If I can complain about you dying all the time, you can worry about me when I fly." He said and shook his head "I just wish you would have told me yourself instead of using Keith." He added and Shiro squeezed his hands back.

"Yeah... I'm sorry. I guess we still have some things to work out?" He asked, running his thumb over his knuckles. Adam grinned.

"We have to the rest of our lives to do that." He said and kissed him. From the stage, Keith tapped the microphone.

"Hey...Can I be done now?"

* * *

Pidge wasn't a gambling woman... But she also wasn't a fool.

So when she saw someone walking up to Shiro and Adam's table as the first course was being served (or what was left of it), she grabbed Hunk and Kinkade by their arms and pulled them close.

"Bet you both $10 that Adam starts yelling in ten minutes." She whispered. Hunk stared.

"What?"

"You heard me." She told them and Kinkade glanced towards where the woman was greeting the couple, using wild hand gestures as Adam nodded politely and pasted on a very fake smile.

"He looks annoyed...But I don't think he's going to start yelling." He noted and Pidge held out her hand.

"A bet then?" She asked and Hunk and Kinkade exchange wary looks before shrugging and each taking a hand to shake. Pidge smirked and edged a bit closer to the table so she could hear the conversation. For a second the words seemed to run together so she couldn't make out what was being said, but eventually she started to separate them.

"....Just so wonderful!"

"Thank you, Tricia." Adam was saying "I'm...Really glad you could come."

"Oh, me too. This sort of thing doesn't happen often. It's really so sweet." She was saying, waving her hands wildly to talk. Shiro and Adam warily looked at one another "I was trying to convince my cousin to do something similar with his best friend, but he kept telling me you can't get married platonically." She continued and Hunk gasped as Pidge snickered. Adam stared at her blankly.

"You...Can't get married platonically." Shiro finally said "Um...I know the ceremony was a bit hectic, but...Uh, we did actually kiss and stuff at the end. That did happen." He told her and Tricia tilted her head. Adam still remained frozen.

"Oh my God, she killed him." Kinkade muttered. Pidge grimaced. She almost felt like she should get Adam some sort apology card for how much of a disaster his wedding was turning out to be.

"Um...There must be some mistake," Tricia frowned "Adam is straight."

"Ooh. There it is." Hunk whistled "She said it right to his face."

"On his _wedding_ day." Pidge added. They all waited for Adam to blow up. The man in question was looking like someone had punched him in the face. His jaw was set and expression carefully controlled so it remained lax and neutral. Shiro put a hand on his arm, possibly concerned he could be having a stroke or something.

"I...Excuse me a moment," Adam smiled tightly and rose. Shiro's eyes widened as his husband drifted off. He moved to go after him, but was blocked by a few other people rushing over to whisper something to him. Pidge looked at her friends with raised eyebrows.

"Should we go after him?" She asked, but was immediately cut off by Adam standing on the makeshift stage they had created and tapping the microphone Keith had occupied earlier. "Oh...This is going to be good." Pidge smiled.

"Um...What's he going to do?" Hunk winced "I have three guys that can tranquilize him if we need to."

"Let the man speak!" Pidge argued and the crowd hushed as they realized Adam was trying to talk. He tapped a few more times on the microphone before taking a deep breath.

”I have something to say,” He began solemnly “It has come to my attention....that some of you are not aware why you are here. I would like to start off by saying I hate you and it was almost certainly not my idea to invite you.” He said flatly and Pidge smiled, nudging has Kinkade. Ryan lifted his camera as an answer. 

“Now when I was nine...I watched the Titanic for the first time. Not the shitty remake, either. The original one with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. And I remember the scene where Jack was doing that painting of Rose nude and I thought to myself ‘dang. That woman is beautiful’ and continued my life. From beside me was my wonderful nanny who said to me ‘I would like to see the version where Rose draws Jack naked’ to which I considered her wise words and went ‘DAMN YOU’RE RIGHT, ME TOO!’ and honestly. That day changed my life. Not just because it would have been glorious to see a nude Leonardo DiCaprio, but because I knew I was a man of impeccable taste.”

”I love my life.” Pidge whispered.

”Which is why we are gathered here today. Because I think we can all look at Takashi and think ‘DAMN LOOK AT THAT!’ because...He is a beautiful man. Not only that but he is smart and brave and selfless and pretty much a collection of everything good in the world. And that, my group of unwanted yet invited guests, is why it is so goddamn disrespectful to not be aware that this wedding is the gayest event of the century. I have fantastic taste. Not only that, but I managed to convince this guy to marry me! Can I please have a round of applause?”

He paused and everyone slowly clapped. Shiro buried his face in his hands.

”And so I just need you all to remember...No matter who you marry, date, or love...You will never do better than me. I win. And if anyone tries to tell me that my husband and I have a platonic relationship...I am going to get one of these lions to eat you. Thank you and goodnight.” Adam finished “Also, fuck you Tricia.”

Pidge clapped loudly as Adam jumped off the stage, flicking off everyone as he marched back to Shiro. 

“Technically he didn’t yell.” Hunk pointed out and held out his hand. The paladin in question froze. She looked at his hand then to Adam before swearing.

”ADAM!” She yelled “YOU ARE SHIRO ARE CUTE FRIENDS!”

”DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT IN ANOTHER WAR YOU EVIL PEANUT?!”

”There he goes.” She smiled 

* * *

"Don't panic..."

"I feel like that sentence alone should make me panic." Lance grumbled and pinched the brdige of hise nose. "What?" He asked and Allura placed a comforting hand on his shoulder "Well... The entire music system is broken and the lead singer in the band you hired is on his way to the hospital with a broken jaw. So.... Shiro and Adam's first dance is in peril."

"I see," Lance said pressed his fingers together "Uh huh....Okay. So. Right. We're fucked." He began and nodded. "Great. I'm a failure as Adam's best man and deserve to die a long painful death because I single handedly ruined their wedding."

"Um...I'm not sure that's right...." Allura began, but stopped when Lance banged his head into the pole beam beside them "Listen, Lance. I'm sure someone here can sing. We have over a thousand people. Well...Maybe like eight hundred now." She added as another ambulance zipped by them. "Coran can play guitar, I think. Or the Altean version anyways." She considered. Lance looked at her.

"I can sing."

"Great. There we go then." She said, clasping her hands together. Lance stared at her. "Um...Unless you don't want to?"

"It's been awhile...And I swore I would never sing again after what happened last time." Lance told her, wringing his hands. Allura crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't ask. It was bad. Really bad. I still have nightmares..." He shuddered and looked over at where the crowd was roaming around, whispering amongst themselves. Adam and Shiro were too distracted by one another to realize their first dance was in peril. "Damnit. I can't believe my abuela was right."

"What are you _talking_ about?" Allura demanded, shaking her head "What was your grandmother right about?" She asked and as if somehow Camilla knew what they were talking about, the woman in question paused in her conversation with Nadia to give a feral smile across the room at her grandson. Lance scowled at her before turning back to the alien at hand.

"Allura...Look me in the eyes and tell me I am amazing and can do anything."

"I feel like you usually tell yourself that."

"You are correct, but there is no mirror to be found so you'll have to do." Lance told her and Allura sighed, putting a hand on her hip before placing the other on Lance's shoulder and squaring herself so she could look him directly in the eyes.

"Alejandro McClain. You went to war. Piloted lions in space. Defeated an intergalactic empire and are dating a hottie. You can do literally anything." She told him "Those hoes are about to be shook by your angel voice."

"I can't believe you called Keith a hottie and referred to the guests as hoes. You are officially one of us, now." He said and with those words, marched up on stage where Adam had stood about ten minutes ago. Everyone froze when Lance stood up, readying for another speech. Keith awkwardly waved from where he was standing next to Krolia.

"So. Hello." Lance said "I'm the other best man, Lance. Um...I haven't given my speech yet. I'm going to give you the annotated version of it because we have Shiro and Adam's first dance coming up here so...Yeah. Plus Adam said what I was basically going to say anyways. Except I would like to point out that he may think he won, but... Have you seen _my_ boyfriend? Don't get me wrong. Shiro is fantastic. I once saw him benchpress Adam. But my boyfriend turned into a purple alien when he sneezed the other so just think about that." He added and smirked when Keith flushed "Oh? Am I embarrassing you?" He called out "Maybe next time don't cut me out of formation! He's also a cuddler. Just in case anyone was wondering." He added and ignored how Keith crossed his arms, ensuring an attack the second Lance got off the stage "Anyways. Adam and Shiro. They're great. I love them both. I'm sure they're both going to spend a lot of years being happy together and if not...Um. Well. I swore to Adam I would sacrifice my life in order to keep them together and happy so I really hope you guys don't hit too many bumps in the road. So congrats guys! Also, the music is basically dead or, uh, taking the ambulance so I'm going to be singing the first dance song...I'm sorry." He added "Anyways...Here's wonderwall." 

Silence.

"Jesus, I'm kidding. Tough crowd. Adam. Shiro. I got you - go dance." He said and the couple looked at Lance warily before shrugging and heading towards what might have been the dance floor. Coran had done some last minute renovation and simply made a huge circle with flower petals to signify where Adam and Shiro would be. Lance bit his lip and looked nervously around. 

"Can he even sing?" Krolia whispered from her spot next to Keith. Keith shrugged helplessly. He had no idea, quite honestly. He had never heard him.

"Um...Ryan, don't film this." Pidge winced "If this goes badly I don't think Lance needs video evidence it ever happened." She said, putting a hand over her friend's lens. For a second nobody spoke until Coran stepped up and started strumming the guitar. Lance blinked, a little shocked that he somehow knew the song and was able to play the human instrument that well, but didn't question anything as his intro came.

Collectively, the group sighed.

“Oh,” Pidge hummed “So he can sing. Nice. Keith you can - oh my God.” She said, looking at where Keith was staring up at his boyfriend, dazzled. “Stop it.”

”Stop what?” Keith objected and looked over at Hunk “Why doesn’t he do this more often?” He demanded, gesturing to where Lance was on stage. He seemed to realize there was no booing so his voice was steadily growing more sure as he continued. From the dancefloor, Shiro offered his hand to Adam. "Nobody told me he could do that. Hunk did you know?" He asked and the paladin in question shrugged.

"Yeah."

"And...?"

"Um...I didn't think it was relevant to bring up to you?" Hunk frowned "Keith, lots of people can sing." He pointed out as he gave Lance a thumbs up. Lance smiled from the stage and gave his friend a thumbs up in return. Keith scoffed.

"Not like that."

"Have you considered...Maybe. Just maybe...Calming the fuck down?" Pidge groaned, hitting Keith's arm. "Only Adam and Shiro are allowed to be gross. It's their wedding. Put the heart-eyes _away_ before I call your mother back over here." She said and Keith look at her, affronted. 

"I'm an adult, Pidge." He shook his head "Not to mention a member of the Blade and-"

"Krolia!"

"Alright, jeez. I'll stop."

* * *

"I hate this."

"I only stepped on your foot once, Adam." Shiro pointed out and then smirked before purposely tripping them up again. Adam scowled. "Sorry."

"That alien with six eyes is staring too much." Adam grumbled and buried his face in Shiro's shoulder as he managed to do another spin. Lance was only a quarter way through the song and Adam was pretty sure he was going to pass out before the end of it. Shiro's fingers squeezed tightly.

"The amount of people really does bother you, huh?" Shiro hummed "Just focus on the people you want to be here, babe. What is it you always say...?" He asked lightly and pulled him a little closer "Patience yields focus?"

"Don't be rude. Lance told me that you practically screamed that at Keith every mission." Adam sniffed indignantly "You're not allowed to make fun of me for saying it anymore." He told him and glowered at his prosthetic leg "We would totally be able to salsa if I didn't have this stupid hunk of metal on me."

"We've been banned from salsa-ing, remember?" Shiro pointed out and stepped away to spin him. Adam rolled his eyes, but spun before stepping back in front of his husband. 

"That's only in Australia." Adam pointed out and when Shiro rose an eyebrow, shrugged "...And New Zealand. But I stand by what I said before - we did nothing wrong."

"And what about Canada?"

"Listen. Canada was a completely different trip. I told you that ski resort was a bad idea. You didn't listen. Now Keith thinks the Yeti is real and I have to live with the fact my husband can't count to three!" Adam objected and Shiro gave a helpless shrug, not even bothering to defend himself from the statement. For a second, Adam almost forgot the hundreds of people watching them as they swayed back and forth.

"I didn't know Lance could sing," Shiro said suddenly and Adam smiled a little, looking up at the stage where Lance had gained his confidence, winking at Keith as he high-fived someone near the mic. "I'm surprised he wasn't serenading more aliens in space." He mused.

"His abuela made him sing in her church's choir until he went to the Garrison," Adam scoffed "Except when he was ten he fell off the stage during the Christmas performance and fell right into a plate of yams. Camilla laughed at him so as revenge he swore never to sing again." He said and from somewhere in the crowd, he could have sworn he heard Camilla's cackle of victory. Shiro snickered.

"A church choir, huh? Did he wear the robe?"

"Oh yeah. He looked adorable in it too...But don't try asking for photos of him. I'm not giving you any ammo you can pass along to Keith." Adam informed him and this time, lifted his arm so Shiro could twirl around. Shiro sniffed, but didn't argue. He instead leaned forward to kiss Adam before continuing the dance, rendering the other man momentarily silent as he continued to sway.

"How long is this song anyways?" Shiro asked.

"Hm? Oh it was supposed to end forever ago. I'm pretty sure Lance forgot the words so he's just repeating the chorus until someone stops him."

"We might be here awhile then..." Shiro snorted and jerked his head towards where Keith was standing, glaring at anyone who looked like they might interrupt Lance's song in favor of giving him the last set of the lyrics. On the other hand, Pidge seemed to have found a loophole. Folding what Adam assumed to be the sheet music to the song in a paper airplane, she climbed onto Kinkade's shoulders and threw it towards the stage. Keith turned slowly towards them, an indignant frown crossing his features as he looked slowly between the paper Pidge just threw and where she was sitting on top of her friend.

"Right. Thanks everyone!" Lance said brightly and everyone clapped. Adam spun out of Shiro's arm, giving a deep bow and blowing a few kisses. "Let's keep this party rolling with a wildly inappropriate song for a wedding...But it's Spice Girls, so who cares?"

"He's going to sing Wannabe, isn't he?" Shiro sighed. Adam clapped.

"Y _o, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want..._ "

* * *

"EVERYONE IN THE CENTER OF THE DANCEFLOOR!"

"Oh, I hate bouquet tosses," Lance groaned as he was shoved towards the middle of the group "I never catch it."

"Why not? You're tall and long." Pidge noted "Just knock somebody out with your elbow and you're golden." She said, cleaning her glasses. Lance looked down at her, unimpressed (she didn't need them to see! Why did she still have them?!). The crowd surrounding them excitedly moved forward, rocking everyone around as they waited for Adam and Shiro to appear with the flowers.

"Lance almost caught the bouquet at Luis' wedding!" Hunk chimed in "But this girl said she was going to claw his eyes out if she didn't get it so...." He trailed off and Lance rolled his eyes. "I mean, maybe you don't _want_ to catch it. Are you ready for marriage? You and Keith just started dating and no offense, but he doesn't seem like the domestic type... Unless you plan on marrying on a whim and living your life out on the space road with nothing but your lions and each other for company as you journey across planets, living off of old space goo and love." He said, holding out a hand dramatically and almost hitting James Griffin in the face. "But try not to do that because I'll miss you tons, buddy."

"Thanks, Hunk." He grumbled and Pidge patted his arm. "Stop it! I'm just saying bouquet tosses are-"

"Shiro get ready!" Someone called and the crowd all rose their hands as Shiro was handed some white flowers. He turned around and covered his eyes after throwing a small smile Lance's way. Pidge pushed up her sleeves. "One..Two...Three!"

The flowers soared, hundreds of fingers brushing the petals. James reached up, almost snagging it from the air when Pidge's entire body tackled him to the ground. The flowers fell right into Lance's hands.

"Oh." He said, looking down at the flowers in surprise. "I caught them." He said and blinked a few times before looking at Hunk, who clapped a hand on his shoulder "I'm not ready for marriage." He whispered.

"GET REKTED GRIFFIN!" Pidge shouted as she pushed herself off of James. The cadet groaned. From where he sat at one of the tables, Kinkade sighed and walked over to unceremoniously lift Pidge off of him. "Lance deserved the flowers." She explained to him. Ryan hummed in approval and offered James a hand to help him up.

"Adam's turn!" Matt shouted and the crowd was once against fueled with excitement.

"I'm not sure Adam can even throw," Keith called from where he was standing next to Romelle. The Altean was looking around the crowd, frowning at everyone as she tried to figure out why people were throwing things. "Are the flowers too heavy for you?" He yelled and Adam whirled around to scowl at Keith before hurling the bouquet straight at his face. The crowded 'oohed' as Keith was pegged, almost knocked down by the force. There was a pause.

"Does that count?" Someone asked. Keith spat out a petal and glared at Adam, who was seemingly just registering what had happened. His eyes widened, perhaps realizing what it meant now that Keith had the flowers. Before he could say anything, Keith had already turned and tugged at Romelle's sleeve.

"Here." He said and handed her the flowers. Romelle took them, brows raised in confusion. "It's part of human tradition to catch the flowers at the wedding." He explained and Romelle picked at some of the petals curiously.

"Oh...I see." She said "Allura look! I caught the flowers, I guess. I wonder what that means?" She asked and Allura took one of the flowers out of the bouquet, placing one in her hair .

"I don't know...I'm sure it is good fortune though." She reasoned. Keith snorted. He turned around to see Lance standing behind him, Shiro's boquet in hand.

"I caught it!" He said, grinning wildly "But, uh, I don't think we're getting married soon. No offense." He shrugged. "Hunk was saying stuff about living off of old space goo and stuff...I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to your wild west life." He said and Keith rose an eyebrow.

"My wild west life," He repeated "Does this mean you aren't mad at me anymore?" He asked, interlocking their pinkies. Lance let the flowers fall by his side, scowling a little at the reminder "I don't know if you noticed or not, but my speech kind of turned into an apology." He added. Lance pursed his lips. "But I guess I can do it again," Keith grumbled "I'm _sorry_ , okay? I shouldn't have cut you out of the formation. I know you can take care of yourself-"

"No," Lance interrupted "That isn't what I was mad about." He said and crossed his arms, letting go of Keith's hand. There was a pause as they both stared at one another for a moment before Lance spoke again, words slowly coming out with careful precision "I can take care of myself...Obviously... But I was mad because I couldn't take care of you either." He said "Not if I'm not there. You were so freaked out when you found out I died because you felt bad about not being there, remember? But then just now you...Got rid of me so that I couldn't be there if something happened to you either." He shrugged.

"Oh." Keith said and went silent. "Oh." He repeated. Lance waited. There were a few minutes where he could see the cogs turning in Keith's mind, rolling over before he slowly nodded. "I...Didn't think of it like that." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, Lance." He told him, voice lowering a bit. Lance looked at him for a few seconds before shaking his head and grabbing his hand again.

"It's okay. Buy me some apology flowers and I'll be golden."

"You already have flowers," Keith pointed out, gesturing to the bouquet in hand. Lance looked down, eyes widening as if just realizing he had caught the bouquet at all.

"Tragic. I guess you'll have to find something better." Lance mused and slowly a small smirk began to crawl on the other boy's face. Lance frowned at the sudden change in expression. Before he he could ask, Keith tugged him away from the crowd.

"Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"...how do you feel about Uno?"

* * *

Adam liked to think he had the senses of a cat. He just... _knew_ when something was wrong. 

Theoretically, he could say it came from years of perfecting the art of 'Takashi did something stupid again' while being thousands of miles away. Then again, he also had a long resume of dealing with dumbass people. He once yelled at Keith for trying to sneak out _before_  Keith had even left his bedroom. He also stopped Lance from bungee jumping off of his dormroom by simply seeing a dot outside on a roof and thinking to himself 'that's probably Alejandro'. 

So when he felt a tug in his gut he _knew_ something was up...And like all superheroes tended to do, he went through his mental checklist to find out who was doing the stupid thing this time.

-Takashi. Nope. He was currently talking to Matt's partner about human wedding traditions. No worries there.

-Pidge. Well... Her, Kinkade and that Jenny girl were all making a group effort to get his father to go talk to Hunk's family. Which was...Rude and would definitely end in a bloodbath, but it wasn't a level of catastrophe that led to anyone actually dying.

-The Alteans? Probably, actually. They would - oh nevermind. They were all trying to convince James to fight Veronica in whatever fighting games they had designed with Krolia.

-Hunk...Oh dear God, it was Hunk, wasn't it? It was always the sweet ones. Wait. Nope. He was playing with his niece and nephew. It looked as though Sylvio and Nadia were joining him too...Wait.

 _Alejandro_. Adam couldn't see him and...Fuck. Where the Hell was the demon?

"CAMILLA!" He yelled, silencing half the crowd. As he expected, Lance's grandmother was there in a second, sipping her cocktail slowly as she linked arms with Adam's mother and paused in their conversation. "Where's Lance?" He asked and Camilla closed her eyes, placing a finger to her lips. A few people watching went silent, uncertain as to what was happening. Camilla took another sip of her cocktail.

"My grandson is in his hotel room." She finally said and took another sip of her cocktail.

"What the fuck?" Someone whispered "Did she just teleport or something?"

Adam didn't stick around to explain grandmother-ly knowledge. He had innocence to preserve. Sprinting, he ignored Takashi's exasperated call after him and scrambled towards where the small hotel located next to the park was. He dug into his wallet, throwing down wads of cash on the receptionists' counter.

"Tell me where Lance McClain's room is."

"I don't work here." George complained "I was just at your wedding - you _know_ this!" He whined and Adam slammed down more money. George looked down for a second before shrugging and hopping over the counter. After scooping Adam's money in his pocket, the kid typed for a few seconds on the computer. "204... I better not go to jail for hacking into this thing." He grumbled. Adam threw himself over the counter to grab the what was labeled 'master key' on the desk and dashed towards the stairs.

"NO!" He yelled as he opened ran into the door "LANCE DON'T DO IT!" He shouted and banged on the door a few times before using the key to fling it open. There was a loud slam and Adam found himself face to face with a very small, frail old man.

"Who is Lance?" He asked and narrowed his eyes "Aren't you that space gay?"

"What room is this?!" Adam asked, putting a hand on either side of his arms.

"203...Answer my question, young man." He asked, wrinkling his nose.

"No, I'm the earth gay. My husband in the space gay." Adam informed him and whirled around so that he could slam the master key against the door directly across from him. "LANCE, NO! HE HAS CRABS!"

"He has _what_?" Lance asked from the bed and looked at Keith "Dude, you should get that looked into."

"I do _not_!" Keith yelled and slammed down a card "Uno." He added and glowered at Adam "What are you doing here?" He asked. Adam stared. Both boys were fully clothed and sitting at a respectable distance from one another on the bed, a pile of multicolored cards between them. "Shouldn't you be leaving for your honeymoon?"

"For... But..." He spluttered "You're not having sex?" He blinked. Lance rose an eyebrow.

"Not unless sex includes your boyfriend betraying you by throwing down _three_ draw fours," He said and flicked his eyes back to Keith "You son of a bitch."

"I don't understand." Adam said. Keith smiled at him in that evil way that he smiled.

"Well, the way the game works is-"

"I _know_ how to play Uno, demon!" Adam growled "I just... I thought..." He said and shook his head "Nevermind. Carry on. You know what? Maybe we should invite some more people to play. Just to liven-"

" _Adam_!" Oh boy. Adam turned to see his husband peering over his shoulder, a pout on his lips "Black is ready to go. What are you doing?" He asked and waved to Keith and Lance. Keith threw down his last card, making Lance curse. "Babe, they're just playing Uno." He said and interlaced their fingers.

"But..." Adam said and looked back at them. The paladins waved back. "They're up to something." He whispered.

"Adam, you're stressed. Weddings do that to you." Shiro chuckled and kissed the side of his head "Come on... We're going to have some time alone. In space. For _weeks_." He told him and Adam could feel the smile on his neck. The idea was pretty tempting "And I know some planets with really nice views...And good food." He coaxed "I'm sure they'll be fine. Camilla will keep the in check." He said and Adam nodded. Of course. Camilla. Right.

Maybe his senses were getting a little old.

* * *

 

“...anyways.” Keith said after Adam closed the door. “I won.” 

“Fine,” Lance grumbled, throwing down his cards with a scowl “I will get you next time, mullet. Mark my words.” He told him and crossed his arms “So now what? The deal was the winner gets to choose.” He said and Keith rolled his eyes.

”Bed." He answered and Lance pouted, lips puckering a little as Keith shook his head "Lance you _know_ we'll somehow hurt ourselves in the shower. We've never done this before."

"I guess," He muttered and hopped up on the bed. He stared down at Keith. Keith stared back. "Um...Now what?"

"Why are you asking me? I thought you were the slut between the two of us."

"First of all - that's rude, but thank you. Second of all...I mean. Guys are supposed to be different, right? Didn't Shiro and Adam tell you how to....?" He started and gestured vaguely. Keith crossed his arms from his place on the floor, shrugging a little as he avoided his boyfriend's gaze.

"I mean...They did, but... It was mainly the standard stuff like using condoms and lube and all that."

"Where do you put the lube?" Lance asked, eyes widening a fraction. Keith shrugged helplessly.

"Everywhere?" He suggested and Lance tilted his head a little to the side. Keith pursed his lips "Maybe we should google it."

"Sure, let's just wikihow sex." Lance grumbled, but rolled over so Keith could hop on the bed and start typing on his phone. They went silent for a few moments. "What...Is _that_?" He asked and looked at Keith "Maybe we should have just googled porn."

"I'm sure you're flexible enough..." Keith said, tilting his head to the side and squinting "Maybe. Should we stretch or something first?"

"Of course I'm flexible eno- wait." Lance blinked. "Uh... Are you thinking I'm going to, um." He pointed vaguely towards one of the figures on Lance's phone "Yeah." He said and Keith's eyes flicked between the phone and Lance before his lips parted a little.

"Oh. Um. Kind of? Did you think _I_ was?" He asked and Lance stared blankly back at him."Well... We could probably take turns or something." He said reasonably and bit his lip "Do you want to try it first?" He asked and Lance punched his arm. "Just asking!" He muttered and stared at the phone. "Hmm... Whoever wins the next round of Uno gets to choose?"

"...Fair enough. Shuffle the cards, Romeo."

* * *

“Takashi.” 

“Hm?” Shiro responded, rolling over a little so he could curl up a little more against his husband. “You okay?”

“I don’t want to alarm you...”

”Well then why did you start out your sentence that way?” Shiro sighed and sad up “What is it?”

”Remember when Keith first got his phone and you set him up on your plan?” He asked and Shiro stared “I’m assuming when he got back to Earth he resumed using that phone because he’s an idiot that doesn’t know how to update technology?” 

“I...probably? Why?”

”I’m just wandering if he knows we can still see shit he searches for.” Adam said and showed Shiro his phone with a sigh "They weren't really playing uno." He muttered and Shiro took the phone, nose wrinkling slightly. 

"They aren't going to do _that_ specifically, right? Seems a bit advanced for two people who just started dating. Wait - he just searched something else."

"Oh no. That's disgusting. No way Lance is down with that sort of thing."

"I'm going to message him..." Shiro sighed and Adam's phone dinged. He smirked. "What?"

"He just searched 'can people on shared plans see your search history' so I think he realized." He told Shiro and grabbed the phone out of his husband's hand "I got this, babe." He said and just typed 'yes' in and hitting send. A few minutes later there were three more dings.

"What now?"

"Well. It says 'how to delete search history' for the first one, 'how to fake death' as the second and 'haven't you people ever heard of fucking privacy' as the third." He rattled off "I mean, it's own fault for not using private browsing. It isn't like we want to know how his nasty mind works." He shrugged.

Shiro rolled his eyes and tugged the phone out of his hand. 

"Let's not worry about them for a little while. We're in space for the next two weeks." He reasoned and pulled Adam closer "Alone. With nobody to bother us...Or stress us out..." He murmured, burying his face into Adam's side "No space wars or wedding plans or aliens trying to kill anyone..."

"I guess we should take advantage of that," Adam hummed, running a hand through Shiro's hair "You know what we should do? I can cook some-"

"RISE AND SHINE!"

Shiro and Adam jumped, both reaching for various weapons as the doors slid open revealing Coran, holding an armful of flowers and a bright smile as he marched into the room. 

"Coran... _What_ are you doing here?" Shiro said, violently throwing himself onto the bed "I - why?"

"I'm the flowergirl!" Coran said brightly "It is my duty to make sure you are given fresh flowers everyday until your first child is born!" He said and put down the flowers. "I'm assuming human tradition is quite similar to Altean tradition?" He asked and Adam buried his head into a pillow and screamed.

"I don't think we're going to be having any kids anytime soon, Coran." Shiro said patiently "Is there another ship you can take back to Earth? Adam and I were hoping for some, uh...Alone time during our honeymoon." He explained and Adam gave a scream of agreement from the pillow. Coran stared.

"Oh...I see." He said and shuffled a little. Adam popped his head up and regarded the Altean warily. Shiro scowled.

"Don't fall for it, Adam."

"I can go. I don't want to intrude." Coran sighed "I'm sure...Romelle and Allura are in need of my assistance! Of course. As I am...Much needed..."

"I mean," Adam began, sitting up "I suppose it wouldn't hurt for us to have breakfast together-"

"You are a weak, weak man." Shiro groaned as Coran clapped his hands together.

"Perfect! I shall get the space goo ready!" He shouted and dashed out of the room. There was a crash as Coran entered the kitchen "George! What are you doing on this expedition?"

"Take me back to that planet. Please."

"What's space goo?" Adam asked, ignoring the fact they had another stowaway onboard. Shiro used his floating hand to lock the doors and pull at Adam's arm.

"If we move fast enough, we can hide."

"I can't believe I married you." Adam grumbled, but burrowed himself back into the wad of blankets.

Takashi ran a hand through his husband’s hair, smiling softly. 

“Yeah...Me neither.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo....Hey. I got good and bad news for you.
> 
> Good news is - I plan on dumping all my one-shots on ao3! I think like...5 of them are on tumblr right now? I have a list on at least 10 more I want to write so honestly that can go on for awhile. 
> 
> The bad news is I'm going to be taking a small hiatus for a few months. If you follow me on tumblr you probably noticed I fell off the face of the Earth. I already posted something on there, but here's a quick explanation to put on here. I'm pretty sick at the moment. Not dying kind of sick, but it can go that direction if I don't get the surgery and stuff I need ASAP. My doctors are like 99% sure I'm going to be fine in a few months, but only if I'm really good and following the diet, exercise, medication plan, surgeries, etc... that I'm supposed to. So! With that being said I have to put all my writing projects on hold until I'm given the go-ahead to live my normal life again. 
> 
> So I'm not gone! I'm essentially going to be like a pokemon. The next version you see of me is going to be like an evolved version who has defeated my old body and come out victorious. I'm holding out hope that the doctors accidentally give me that serum that makes you into a superhero. I'm not sure what I would do as a superhero other than eat cake at a faster speed, but my point remains. 
> 
> But I don't want anyone to panic or anything. You guys are a sweet bunch and I just want to make sure you guys know this is only a couple months before I'm back in action. I love you all and there is a 99.999999% chance I'll be rereading all of your comments while chilling in bed because they make me so happy lol. With that all said... I shall see you in soon! Possibly with a whole new fic ready to go, but definitely with more Basically one-shots heading your way. 
> 
> Stay safe and drink lots of water...Also, don't do anything Adam would encourage you to do. 
> 
> -Claudia


End file.
